Preface

The writing of this book serves as a kind of confession.

You, the readers, will be my confidants. I’m going to tell you all my secrets. Things I’ve never told anybody. Things I don’t want anybody to know! I don’t want you to breathe a word of what you find out in this book. Keep everything under your hat!

Wait a minute, wait a minute…that might not work.

I’m not in a confessional booth, and a lot of you are probably not priests.

This is a book! And this book needs to sell!

So let me revise what I’ve just told you:

Don’t keep it under your hat. Spill the beans! Spread the word. Let the secrets out! Tell all! Tell everybody! Let everybody you know hear all the terrible things I’ve done. Everything I didn’t want the world to know—shout it from the rooftops!

(Because I think I’m gonna need a couple of million confidants to make any money on this book.)

So fasten your seatbelts and hang on for this wild ride that’s mostly about my life and career in this crazy thing called show business.

Okay, let’s start the adventure!