Diary of Dork –
Articles of Sarcasm and Irreverence
Slaughter in
Barnaby Close
Email –
mcargill79@gmail.com
Twitter –
@MichaelCargill1
http://www.facebook.com/MichaelCargillAuthor
Website of
satire – http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/
Published by
Michael Cargill at Smashwords
Copyright 2012
Michael Cargill
Note to
lawyers, and litigious types: this is all satire/parody/not
actually real. I’m sure that Steve Jobs, Saddam Hussein, and
everyone else are very nice people really.
Hi, my name is
Geoff, and I’m rather fond of my name, as it’s unique. There aren’t
many people out there with the same name as me, and that makes me
feel special, and mentally empowered. I haven’t ever met a girl
called ‘Geoff’, so that’s already fifty percent of the world’s
population that can be ruled out. If my name was Pascal, I would
probably commit suicide.
Back when I was
younger, I was in the garden making sandcastles out of mud, when I
saw a frog hop past. I had never been so close to a frog before, so
I ran away, just in case it tried to trick me into licking it. The
next day the frog was gone, and the rain had washed away my
sandcastles. This all happened back in the days when my next door
neighbour still had a cat.
