{"id":369,"date":"2026-01-03T20:35:51","date_gmt":"2026-01-03T20:35:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/piers-anthony-xanth-05-ogre-ogre-anthony-piers\/"},"modified":"2026-01-03T20:35:51","modified_gmt":"2026-01-03T20:35:51","slug":"piers-anthony-xanth-05-ogre-ogre-anthony-piers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/piers-anthony-xanth-05-ogre-ogre-anthony-piers\/","title":{"rendered":"Piers, Anthony – Xanth 05 – Ogre, Ogre – Anthony, Piers"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Book Preview<\/h3>\n
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\nChapter 1. Nightmare<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy tried to sleep, but it was difficult Thedemon had never actually entered her private bedroom, butshe was afraid that one night he would. This night she wasalone; therefore she worried.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHer father Crombie was a rough soldier who had notruck with demons. But he was away most of the time,guarding the King at Castle Roogna. Crombie was funwhen he was home, but that was rare. He claimed to hatewomen, but had married a nymph, and tolerated no inter-ference by other males. Tandy remained a child in his eyes;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhis hand would have hovered ominously near his sword ifhe even suspected any demon was bothering her. If only hewere here.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHer mother Jewel was on a late mission, planting orangesapphires in a stratum near the surface. It was a long wayaway, so she rode the Diggle-worm, who could tunnelthrough rock without leaving a hole. They would be backafter midnight. That meant several more hours, and Tandywas afraid.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe turned over, wrapped the candy-striped sheet abouther in an uncomfortable tangle, and put the pink pillowover her head. It didn’t help; she still feared the demon.His name was Fiant, and he could dematerialize at will.That meant he could walk through walls.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe more Tandy thought about that, the less she trustedthe walls of her room. She was afraid that any unwatchedwall would permit the demon to pass through. She rolledover, sat up, and peered at the walls. No demon.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n2\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe had met Fiant only a few Weeks ago, by accident.She had been playing with some large, round, blue rubies,rejects from her mother’s barrel\u2014rubies were supposed tobe red\u2014and one had rolled down a passage near the de-mons’ rum works. She had run right into a rum wrap ademon was using, tearing it so that it became a bum wrap.She had been afraid the demon would be angry, but insteadhe had simply looked at her with a half-secret half-smile\u2014and that had been worse. Thereafter that demon had shownup with disturbing frequency, always looking at her as ifsomething demoniacally special was on his mind. She wasnot so naive as to be in doubt about the nature of histhought. A nymph would have been flattered\u2014but Tandywas human. She sought no demon lover.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy got up and went to the mirror. The magic lanternbrightened as she approached, so that she could see herself.She was nineteen years old, but she looked like a child inher nightie and lady-slippers, her brown tresses mussedfrom constant squirming, her blue eyes peering out wor-riedly. She wished she looked more like her mother\u2014but ofcourse no human person could match the pretty faces andfantastic figures of nymphs. That was what nymphdomwas all about\u2014to attract men like Crombie who judged thedistaff to be good for only one thing. Nymphs were goodfor that thing. Human girls could be good for it, too, butthey really had to work at it; they fouled it up by assigningfar more meaning to it than the nymphs did, so wereunable to proceed with sheer delighted abandon. They werecursed by their awareness of consequence.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe peered more closely at herself, brushing her tressesback with her hands, rearranging her nightie, standingstraighten She was no child, whatever her famer mightchoose to think. Yet she was not exactly buxom, either.Her human heritage had given her a good mind and a soul,at the expense of voluptuousness. She had a cute face, witha pert, upturned nose and full lips, she decided, but notenough of the rest of it. She couldn’t make it as a nymph.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe demon Fiant obviously thought she would do, how-ever. Maybe he didn’t realize that her human componentmade her less of a good thing. Maybe he was slumming,looking for an intriguing change of pace from the duskydemonesses who could assume any form they chose, even<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>3<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nanimal forms. It was said that sometimes they wouldchange to animal form in the middle of the act of\u2014but nohuman girl was supposed to be able to imagine anythinglike that. Tandy couldn’t change form, in or out of bed,and certainly she didn’t want any demon’s attention. Ifonly she could convince him of that!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was nothing to do but try to sleep again. The de-mon would come or he wouldn’t; since she had no controlover that, there was no sense worrying.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe lay down amidst the mess her bed had become andworried. She closed her eyes and remained still, as if sleep-ing, but remained tensely awake. Maybe after a while herbody would be fooled into relaxing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was a flicker at the far wan. Tandy spied itthrough almost-closed eyes and kept her small body frozen.It was the demon; he really had come.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn a moment Fiant solidified inside the room. He waslarge, muscular, and fat, with squat horns sprouting fromhis forehead and a short, unkempt beard that made himlook like a goat. His hind feet were hooflike, and he had amedium-length tail at his posterior, barbed at the tip. ThereWas a dusky ambience about him that would have betrayedhis demonic nature, no matter what form he took. His eyeswere like smoky quartz shielding an internal lava flow,emitting a dull red light that brightened when his attentionwarmed to something. By diabolic standards, he was hand-some enough, and many a nymph would have been deli-riously happy to be in Tandy’s place.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy hoped Fiant would go away, after perceiving heralseep and disordered, but knew he wouldn’t. He found herattractive, or at least available, and refused to be repulsedby her negative response. Demons expected rejections; theythrived on them. It was said that, given a choice betweenrape and seduction, they would always choose the rape.The females, too. Of course, it was impossible to rape thatkind; she would simply dematerialize if she didn’t like itWhich might be another explanation for Fiant’s interest inTandy; she couldn’t dematerialize. Rape was possible.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMaybe if she were positive, welcoming him, that wouldturn him off. He was obviously tired of willing females.But Tandy couldn’t bring herself to try that particularploy. If it didn’t work, where would she be?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n4\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Ogre, Ogro<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFiant approached the bed, grinning evilly. Tandy kepther eyes screwed almost shut What would she do if hetouched her? She was sure that screaming and fightingwould only encourage him and make his eyes glow withpreternatural lust\u2014but what else was there?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFiant paused, looming over her, his paunch protruding,the light from his eyes spearing down through slits. “Ah,you lovely little morsel,” he murmured, a wisp of smokecurling from his mouth as he spoke. “Be thrilled, you soft,human flesh. Your demon lover is here at last! Let me seemore of you.” And he snatched the sheet away.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy hurled the pillow at him and bounced off thebed, her terror converting to anger. “Get out of here, foulspiriti” she screamed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ah, the tender morsel wakes, cries welcome! Delight-ful!” The demon strode toward her, the blue tip of hisforked tongue rasping over his thin lips. His tail flickedsimilarly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy backed away, her terror\/anger intensifying. “Iloathe you! Go away!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Presently,” Fiant said, his tail stiffening as it elevated.”Hone your passion to its height, honey, for I will possessits depth.” He reached for her, his horns brightening in thereflected glare of his eyes.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDesperate, Tandy wreaked her ultimate. She threw atantrum. Her body stiffened, her face turned red, her eyesclenched shut, and she hurled that tantrum right at thedemon’s fat chest.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt struck with explosive impact. The demon sunderedinto fragments, his feet, hands, and head flying outward.His tail landed on the bed and lay twitching like a be-headed snake.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy chewed her trembling lip. She really hadn’twanted to do that; her tantrums were devastating, and shewasn’t supposed to throw them. Now she had destroyed thedemon, and there would be hell to pay. How could sheanswer to hell for murder?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe pieces of the demon dissolved into smoke. Thecloud coalesced\u2014and Fiant formed again, intact. Helooked dazed. “Oh, that kiss was a beauty,” he said, andstaggered through the walL<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy relaxed. Fiant wasn’t dead after all, but he was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>5<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngone. She had the best of both situations. Or did she? Hesurely would not stay gone\u2014and now they both knew hertantrums would not stop him. She had only postponedher problem.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNevertheless, now she was able to sleep. She knew therewould be no more trouble this night, and her mother wouldbe home the next few nights. Fiant, for all his boldnesswhen he had his victim isolated, stayed clear when a re-sponsible person was in the neighborhood.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNext day Tandy tried to talk to her mother, though shewas pretty sure it wouldn’t help. “Mother, you know thatdemon Fiant, who works at the rum refinery? He\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, yes, the demons are such nice people,” Jewel said,smelling of mildly toasted sulfur. That was her magic: herodor reflected her mood. “Especially Beauregard, doing hisresearch paper\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Which he has been working on since before I was bom.He’s a nice demon, yes. But Fiant is another kind. He\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They never make any trouble for me when I have to setgems in their caves. The demons are such good neighbors.”The sulfur was getting stronger, beginning to crinkle thenose; Jewel didn’t like to hear criticisms.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u00bb<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Most are. Mother.” Naturally the demons didn’t botherJewel; without her, there would be no gems to find, andthe demons were partial to such trinkets. “But this one’sdifferent. He\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Everyone’s different, of course, dear. That’s whatmakes Xanth so interesting.” Now she smelled of freshlyblooming orange roses.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe different isn’t quite what I mean. He comes tomy room at night\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, he wouldn’t do that! That wouldn’t be right.” Thewrongness of such a thing showed in the smell of an over-ripe medicine ball; even immature medicine balls smelledunpleasantly of illness, and aging intensified the effect”But he did\\ Last night\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You must have dreamed it, dear,” Jewel said firmly.And the aroma of carrion of a moderately sated dragonshowed how distasteful any such notion was to Jewel.”Sometimes those nightmares carry irresponsible dreams.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy saw that her mother did not want to becomeaware of the truth. Jewel had been a nymph and retained<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n6\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmany of her nymphal qualities despite the burden of expe-rience that marriage and motherhood had imposed on her.She had no real understanding of evil. To her, all peopleand all creatures were basically good neighbors, includingdemons. And in truth, the demons had been tolerably wellbehaved, until Fiant had taken his interest in Tandy.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHer father Crombie would understand, though. Crombiewas not only human, he was a man of war. Well did heunderstand the ways of males. But he hardly ever had timeoff, and she had no way to advise him of her situation, sohe couldn’t help now.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs she thought of her father, Tandy abruptly realizedthat Jewel could not afford to lose her faith in people, be-cause then she would have to question Crombie’s fidelity.That could only disrupt her life. Evidently Jewel’s thoughtswere to some extent parallel to Tandy’s because now therewas the disturbing odor of a burning field of wild oats.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo Tandy couldn’t actually talk to her mother about this.It would have to be her father, in private. That meant shehad to get to him, since he would not be home in time todeal with the demon. It was said that no man could standagainst a demon in combat, but Crombie was more than aman: he was her father. She had to reach him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was a problem in itself. Tandy had never been toCastle Roogna. She had never even been to the surface ofXanth. She would be lost in an instant if she ever left thecaves. In fact, she was afraid to try. How could she travelall the way to her father’s place of employment, alone? Shehad no good answer.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe demon did not come the following night. The night-mares visited instead. Every time she slept, they trotted in,rearing over her bed, hooves flashing, ears fiat back, snort-ing the scary vapors that were the bad dreams they bore.She woke in justified terror, and they were gone\u2014only toreturn as she slept again. That was the way of such beasts.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFinally she became so desperate she threw a tantrum atone of them. The tantrum struck it on the flank. The maresquealed with startled pain, her hindsection collapsing, andher companions fled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy was instantly sorry, as she generally was afterthrowing a tantrum; she knew the dark horse was onlydoing its duty and should not be punished. Tandy woke<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>7<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncompletely, tears in her eyes, determined to help the ani-mal\u2014but of course it was gone. It was almost impossible tocatch a nightmare while awake.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe checked where the mare had stood. The floor wasscuffled there, and there were a few drops of blood. Tandyhoped the mare had made it safely home; it would be sev-eral nights before this one was fit for dream-duty again. Itwas a terrible thing to lash out at an innocent creature likethat, no matter how bothersome it might be, and Tandyresolved not to do that again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNext time she slept, she watched for the nightmares,trying to identify the one she had hurt. But they were along time in coming, as if they were now afraid of her, andshe could hardly blame them for that. But at last theycame, for they were compelled to do their job even when itwas dangerous to them. Timidly they approached withtheir burdens of dreams, and these now related to theharming of equines. They were making her pay for hercrime! But she never saw the hurt one, and that made herfeel increasingly guilty. She was sure that particular night-mare was forever wary of her, and would not come again.Maybe it was lying in a stall wherever such creatures wentby day, suffering. If only she had held her temper!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was the job of nightmares to carry the unpleasantdreams that sleepers were scheduled to have, just as it wasJewel’s job to place the gems people were destined to find.Since the dreams were ugly, they could not be trusted tovoluntary participation. Thus nightmares had a bad reputa-tion, in contrast with the invisible daymares who brought inpleasant daydreams. People tried to avoid nightmares, andthis made the horses’ job more difficult. Tandy wasn’t surewhat would happen if the bad dreams did not get delivered,but was sure there would be trouble. It was generally bestnot to interfere with the natural order. She wondered idlywhat dreams the nightmares themselves had when theyslept.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA few days later, when Tandy was settling down, thedemon Fiant came again. He walked right through thewall, a lascivious grin on his face. “Open up, cutie; I’mhere to fulfill your fondest fancies and delve into your deep-est desires.” His tail was standing straight up, quivering.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor a moment Tandy froze, unable even to speak. She<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n8\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad been bothered by this creature before; now she wasterrified. Staring-eyed, she watched his confident ap-proach.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFiant stood over her, as before, his eyes glowing like redstars. “Lie back, spread out, make yourself comfy,” hegloated. “I shall exercise your extreme expectations.” Hereached for her with a long-nailed diabolic hand.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy screamed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis night, Jewel was home; she rushed in to discoverwhat was the matter. But the demon marched calmly outthrough the wall before Jewel arrived, and Tandy had toblame her scream on the nightmares. That provided herwith a fresh burden of guilt, for of course the mares were<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ninnocent.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy knew she had to do something. Plant was gettingbolder, and soon he would catch her alone\u2014and that wouldbe worse than any nightmare. He had proved he could sur-vive one of her tantrums, so Tandy had no protection. Shewould have to go to her father Crombie\u2014soon. But how?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen she had an inspiration. Why not catch a nightmareand ride her to Castle Roogna? The creature would surelyknow the way, as the mares had the addresses of all people<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwho slept.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut there were problems. Tandy had no experience rid-ing horses; she had sometimes ridden the Diggle behind hermother, traveling to the far reaches of Xanth to place em-eralds and opals and diamonds, but this was different. TheDiggle moved slowly and evenly, phasing through the rockas long as someone made a tune it liked. The nightmares,she was sure, moved swiftly and unevenly. How could shecatch one\u2014and how could she hold on?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy was an agile girl. She had climbed all over thecaverns, swinging across chasms on rope-vines, squeezingthrough tiny crevices\u2014good thing she was small!\u2014swimming the chill river channels, running fleetly acrosssloping rockslides, throwing chunks at the occasional gob-lins who pursued her. If a nightmare got close enough, shewas confident she could leap onto its back and hang on toits flowing mane. It would not be a comfortable ride, butshe could manage. So all she really had to worry about wasthe first step\u2014catching her mare.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe problem was, the nightmares came only during a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>9<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nperson’s sleep. She might pretend sleep, but she doubtedshe would fool them\u2014and if she grabbed one while awake,it would surely dissipate like demon-smoke, leaving herwith nothing but a fading memory. Nightmares were, afterall, a type of demon; they could dematerialize in much theway Fiant did. That was how they passed through walls toreach the most secure sleepers. In fact, she suspected theybecame material only in the presence of a sleeper.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe would have to ride the nightmare in her sleep. Onlythat would keep it material, or enable her to dematerializewith it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy set about her task with determination. It was notthat she relished the prospect of such a ride, but that sheknew what would happen to her at the hands\u2014or what-ever\u2014of the demon if she did not ride. She set up a bolsteron two chairs, and practiced on it, pretending it was theback of a horse. She lay on her bed, then abruptly bouncedoff it and leaped astride the bolster, – grabbing a tasslewhere the mane should be and squeezing with her legs.Over and over she did this, drilling the procedure into her-self until it became fast and automatic. She got tired andher legs got sore, but she kept on, until she could do it inher sleep\u2014she hoped.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis took several days. She practiced mostly when hermother was out setting jewels, so that there would be noawkward questions. The demon did not bother her by day,fortunately, so she was able to snatch some sleep then, too.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhen she was satisfied, and also when she dared delayno longer, because of Fiant’s boldness and her mother’s up-coming overnight journey to set diamonds in a big kimber-lite pipe\u2014a complex job\u2014she acted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe wrote a note to her mother, explaining that she hadgone to visit her father and not to worry. Nymphs tendednot to worry much anyway, so it should be all right. Shegathered some sleeping pills from the recesses where theyslept, put them in her pockets, and lay down. One pill wasnormally good for several hours before it woke, and shehad several; they should keep her in their joint sleep allnight.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut as the power of the pills took then- magic effect onher body, drawing her into their slumber, Tandy had analarming thought: suppose no nightmares came tonight?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n10<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nII<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSuppose Fiant came instead\u2014and she was locked in slum-ber, unable to resist him? That thought disturbed her somuch that the first nightmare rushed to attend to her the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmoment she slept.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy saw the creature clearly in her dream: amidnight-colored equine with faintly glowing eyes\u2014therewas the demon stigma!\u2014set amidst a flaring forelock. Themane was glossy black, and the tail dark ebony; even thehooves were dusky. Yet she was a handsome animal, withfine features and good musculature. The black ears perkedforward, the black nostrils flared, and the dark neckarched splendidly. Tandy knew this was an excellent repre-sentative of the species.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m asleep,” she reminded herself. “This is a dream.”Indeed it was. A bad dream, full of deep undertow currentsand grotesque surgings and fear and shame and horror,making her miserable. But she fought it back, nerved herself,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand leaped for the dark horse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe made it. Her tedious rehearsals had served her well.She landed on the nightmare’s back, clutched the sleekmane, and clasped its powerful body with her legs.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor an instant the mare stood still, too surprised tomove. Tandy knew that feeling. Then the creature tookoff. She galloped through the wall as if it were nothing\u2014and indeed it felt like nothing, for they had dematerialized.The power of the nightmare extended to her rider, just asthe sleeping power of the pills extended to their wearer.Tandy remained asleep, in the dream-state, fastened to her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsteed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ride was a terror. Walls shot by like shadows, andopen spaces like daylight, as the mare galloped headlongand tailshort. Tandy hung on to the mane, though thestrands of it cut cruelly into her hands, because she wasafraid to let go. How hard would she fall, where would shebe, if she lost purchase now? This was a worse dream thanany before\u2014and the sleeping pills prevented her from wak-ing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey were already far away from her mother’s neat<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\napartment. They cruised through rock and caverns, waterand fire, and the lairs of large and small monsters. Theygalloped across the table where’six demons were playing<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npoker, and the demons paused a moment as if experiencingsome chill doubt without quite seeing the nightmare. Theyzoomed by a secret conclave of goblins planning foul play,and these, too, hesitated momentarily as the ambience ofbad visions touched them. The nightmare plowed throughthe deepest recess, where the Brain Coral stored the livingartifacts of Xanth, and the artifacts stirred restlessly, too,not knowing what moved them. Tandy realized that when anightmare passed a waking creature, she caused a brief badthought. Only in sleep did those thoughts have full potency.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Tandy had another problem. She had to guide thissteed\u2014and she didn’t know how. If she had known how,she still wouldn’t have known the way to Castle Roogna.Why hadn’t she thought of this before?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWell, this was a dream, and it didn’t have to make sense.”Take me to Castle Roognal” she cried. “Then I’ll let yougo!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe nightmare neighed and changed course. Was that allthere was to it? It occurred to Tandy that the steed was asfrightened as Tandy herself was. Such horses weren’tmeant for riding! So maybe the mare would cooperate, justto be rid of her rider.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey burst out of the caverns and onto the upper surfaceof Xanth. Tandy was used to strange things in dreams, butwas nevertheless awed. Her eyes were open\u2014at least theyseemed to be, though this could be merely part of thedream\u2014and she saw the vastness of the surface night.There were spreading trees and huge empty spaces and riv-ers without cave-canyons, and above was a monstrous ceil-ing full of pinpoints of light in great patches. She realizedthat these were stars, which her father had told herabout\u2014and she had thought he was making it up, just ashe made up tales of the heroic deeds of the men of legend-ary Xanth’s past\u2014and that where there were none was be-cause of clouds. Clouds were like the vapor surroundingwaterfalls, loosed to ascend to the heavens. Turn a cloudloose, and naturally it did whatever it wanted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen from behind, a cloud came a much larger light,surely the fabled sun, the golden ball that tracked acrossthe sky, always in one direction. No, not the sun, for thatchose to travel, for reasons of its own, only during the day.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n12<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nJewel had told her that, though Tandy wasn’t sure Jewelherself had ever seen the sun. When Tandy had asked herfather whether it was true, Crombie had just laughed,which she took to be affirmation of the orb’s diurnal dispo-sition. Of course things didn’t need sensible reasons forwhat they did. Maybe the sun was merely afraid of thedark, so stayed clear of night<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNo, this must be the moon, which was an object of simi-lar size but dimmer because it was made of green cheesethat didn’t glow so well. Evidently, high-flying dragons hadeaten most of it, for only a crescent remained, the merest<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nrind. Still, it was impressive.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe mare pounded on. Tandy’s hands grew numb, buther hold was firm. Her body was bruised and chafed bythe bouncing; she would be sore for daysl But at least shewas getting there. Her bad dream slipped into oblivion fora while, as dreams tended to, fading in and out as me run<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncontinued.Abruptly she woke. A dark castle loomed in the fading<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmoonlight. They had arrivedl<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBarely in time, too, for now dawn was looming behindthem. The nightmare could not enter the light of day. Infact, the mare was already fading out, for regardless of .dawn, it was no longer bound when Tandy left the dream-state. The sleeping pills must have finished their nap, andTandy had finished hers with them. No\u2014the stones weremostly gone; they must have bounced out one at a time inthe course of the rough ride, and now only one was left,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnot enough to do the job.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn a moment the mare vanished entirely, freed by cir-cumstance, and Tandy found herself sprawled on the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nground, battered and wide-eyed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe was stiff and sore and tired. It had not been a rest-ful sleep at all. Her legs felt swollen and numb from thighto ankle. Her hair was plastered to her scalp with the coldsweat of nocturnal fear. It had been a horrendous ordeal.But at least she was in sight of her destination.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe got painfully to her feet and staggered toward theedifice as the blinding sun hefted itself ambitiously abovethe trees. The Land of Xanth brightened about her, and thecreatures of day began to stir. Dew sparkled. It was allstrangely pretty.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>13<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut as she came to the moat and saw that there was thestirring of some awful creature within it, orienting on her,she had a horrible revelation. She knew what CastleRoogna looked like, from descriptions her father had made.He had told her wonderful stories about it, from the timeshe was a baby onward, about the orchard with its cherry-bomb trees, bearing cherries a person dared not eat, andshoes of all types growing on shoe trees, and all manner ofother wonders too exaggerated to be believed. Only an idiotor a hopeless visionary would believe in the Land of Xanth,anyway! Yet she almost knew the individual monsters ofthe moat by name, and the same for the guardian zombieswho rested in the graveyard, awaiting the day when Xanthneeded defense. She knew the spires and turrets and all,and the ghosts who dwelt within them. She had a marvel-ously detailed mental map of Castle Roogna\u2014and this pres-ent castle did not conform.This was the wrong castle.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOh, woe! Tandy stood in dull, defeated amazement. Allher effort, her last vestige of strength and hope, and herdeviously laid plans to reach her father lay in ruins. Whatwas she to do now? She was lost in Xanth, without food orwater, so tired she could hardly move, with no way to re-turn home. What would her mother think?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSomething stirred within the castle. The drawbridge low-ered, coming to rest across the small moat. A lovely womanwalked out of the castle, subduing the reaching monsterwith a trifling gesture of her hand, her voluminous robeblowing in the morning breeze. She saw Tandy and cametoward her\u2014and Tandy ,saw with a new shock of horrorthat the woman had no face. Her hood contained a writh-ing mass of snakes, and emptiness where human featuresshould have been. Surely the nightmare had saved theworst dream for last!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Dear child,” the faceless woman said. “Come with me.We have been expecting you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy stood frozen, unable even to muster the energyfor a tantrum. What horrors lay within this dread castle?”It is all right,” the snake-headed woman said reassur-ingly. “We consider that your phenomenal effort in catch-ing and riding the nightmare constitutes sufficient chal-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n14\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Os1’\u00ae’ “S””\u00aelenge to reach this castle. You will not be subject to the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nusual riddles of admission.”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>,They were going to take her inside! Tandy tried to run,but her strength was gone. She was a spunky girl, but shehad been through too much this night. She fainted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 2. Smash Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash tromped through the blackboard jungleof Xanth, looking at the pictures on the blackboards be-cause, like all his kind, he couldn’t read the words. He wasin a hurry because the foul weather he was enjoyingshowed signs of abating, and he wanted to get where bewas going before it did. When he encountered a fallenbeech tree across the path, he simply hurled it out of theway, letting the beech-sand fall in a minor sandstorm.When he discovered that an errant river had jumped itschannel and was washing out the path and threatening toclean the grunge off his feet and make his toenails visiblefor the first time in weeks, he grabbed that stream by itstail and flexed it so hard that it splatted right back into itsproper channel and lay there quivering and bubbling infear. When an omery bullhorn blocked the way, threaten-ing to ram its horn most awkwardly into the posterior ofanyone who distracted it. Smash did more than that. Hepicked it up by the hom and blew a horrendous blast thatnearly turned the creature inside out. Never again wouldthat bullhorn bother travelers on that path; it had beencowed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis sort of thing was routine for Smash, for he was themost powerful and stupid of all Xanth’s vaguely manlikecreatures. The ground trembled nervously when hetromped, and the most ferocious monsters thought it pru-dent to catch errands elsewhere until he was gone. Natu-rally the errands fled with indecent haste, wanting no partof this. In fact, no creature with any wit at all wanted anypart of this. For Smash was an ogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n16<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n17<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was twice the height of an ordinary man, was broadin proportion, and his knots of hairy muscles stood out likethe boles of tormented old trees. Some creatures mighthave considered him ugly, but these were the less imagina-tive individuals. Smash was not ugly; he was horrendous.By no stretch of imagination could any ogre be consideredless than grotesque, and Smash was an appalling specimenof the breed. There had not been a more revolting creatureon this path since a basilisk had crossed it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYet Smash, like most powerfully ugly creatures, had arather sweet interior, hidden deep inside where it wouldnot embarrass him. He had been raised among humanbeings, had gone on an adventure with Prince Dor andPrincess Irene, and had made friends with centaurs. Hehad, in short, been somewhat civilized by his environment,incredible as this might seem. Most people believed that noogre was dvilizable, and that was certainly the safest beliefto hold.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYet Smash was no ordinary ogre. This meant that heusually did not strike without some faint reason and thathis natural passion for violence had been somewhat stifled.This was a sad condition for an ogre, yet he had borne upmoderately well. Now he had a mission.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe bad weather cleared. The clouds drew their curtainsaside to let lovely shafts of sunlight slant down, making theair sparkle prettily. Birds shook out their feathers andtrilled joyfully. Everything was turning clean and pleasant.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash snorted with disgust. How could he travel in this?He would have to camp for the afternoon and night andhope the morrow was a worse day.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was hungry, for it took huge and wasteful quantitiesof energy to sustain an ogre in proper arrogance. He castabout for something edible and massive enough to sustainhim, such as a dead dragon or a vat of spoiling applesauceor a mossy rock-candy boulder, but found nothing. Thisregion had already been scavenged out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen he heard the squawk of a contented griffin and hesniffed the aroma of delicious pie. The perceptions of ogreswere a-cute rather than a-ugly, oddly; though the griffinwas some distance away, Smash located it precisely bysound and odor. He tromped toward it. This must be thecreature that had cleaned out all the edibles of this region.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe griffin had captured a monstrous shoefly pie. Thewinged shoes had been cooked to a turn, the juices of theirfine leather suffusing the pie, which massed about asmuch as the griffin. This was an ideal meal for an ogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash marched up, not bothering to employ any stealth.The griffin whirled, half spreading its wings, issuing awarning squawk. Nobody in his right mind interfered witha feeding griffin, except a sufficiently large and hungrydragon.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Smash was not in his right mind. No ogre ever was.There was simply not enough mind there to be right. “Megive he three, leave sight of me,” he said. All ogres spokeonly in inane rhyme and lacked facility with pronouns,which they took to be edible roots. But ogres generallymade themselves plain enough, in their brutish fashion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe griffin had not had prior experience with an ogre.That was its fortune. There were very few ogres in theseparts. The griffin opened its eagle beak wide and screecheda warning challenge.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash’s bluff had been called. That was unfortunate,because no ogre was smart enough to bluff. With dimwit-ted joy, he rose to the prospect of mayhem. “One,” he said,counting off on his smallest hamfinger. The griffin didn’tmove.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Two.” After a brief search, he found another finger.The griffin had had enough of this. It gave a raucousbattle cry and charged, which was just as well, for Smashhad lost count This sort of intellectual exercise was horren-dously difficult for his kind; his. head hurt and his fingersfelt numb. But now he was released from the necessity ofcounting all the way to three, and that was a great relief.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe grabbed the griffin by its bird beak and lion’s tail,whirled it around, and hurled it out over the forest in acloud of small feathers and fur. The griffin, startled bythis reception, spread its wings, oriented, circled, decidedthe event must have been a fluke, and started to come infor another engagement. Ogres did not have a monopoly onstupidity!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash faced the lion-bodied bird. “Scram, hami” he bel-lowed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe blast of the bellow tore out half a dozen pinfeathersand two flight feathers, and sent the griffin spinning out of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n18\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncontrol. The creature righted itself again, but this time de-cided to seek its fortune elsewhere. Thus did it finally dosomething halfway smart, yielding the stupidity title to the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash took a flying leap into the center of the shoefly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npie. Leatherlike pastry crust flew up. The ogre grabbed abig handful of the delicious mess and stuffed it into hismaw. He slurped noisily on a boot, chewed the tongue inhalf, and masticated on a pleasantly tough heel. Oh, it wasgood! He grabbed two more handfuls, crunching soles andsucking on laces and spitting the metal eyelets out likeseeds. Soon all the pie was gone. He burped up a few metal<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnails, well satisfied.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAfter gorging, he went to a stream and slurped a fewgallons of shivering cool water. As he lifted his head, he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nheard a faint call. “Help! Help!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash looked about, his ears rotating like those of theanimal he was, to orient on the sound. It came from anearby brambleberry bush. He parted the foliage with onegross finger and peered in. There was a tiny manlike crea-ture. “Help, please!” it cried.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgres had excellent eyesight, but this person was sosmall that Smash had to focus carefully to see him. Her. Itwas naked and had\u2014well, it was a tiny female imp. “Whoyou?” he inquired politely, his breath almost knocking her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndown.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m Quieta the Imp,” she cried, rearranging her hair,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhich his breath had violently disarrayed. “Oh, ogre,ogre\u2014my father’s trapped and will surely perish if not res-cued soon. Please, I beseech you most prettily, help himescape, and I will reward you in my fashion.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash did not care one way or another about imps; theywere too small to eat; anyway, be was for the moment full.This one was hardly more massive than one of his fingers.He did, however, like rewards. “Okay, dokay,” he agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My name’s Quieta, not Dokay,” she said primly. Sheled him to a spot under a soapstone boulder. It was, ofcourse, a very clean place, and the soap had been carvedinto interesting formations. There was her father-imp,caught in an alligator clamp. The alligator’s jaws wereslowly chewing off his little leg.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n19<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This is my father Ortant,” Quieta said, introducingthem. “This is big ugly ogre.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Pleased to meet you, Bigugly Ogre,” Imp Ortant said aspolitely as the pain in his leg permitted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash reached down, but his hamfingers were far toobig and clumsy to pry open the tiny clamp. “Queer ear,” hetold the imps, and obediently both covered their minusculeears with minature hands.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash let out a small roar. The alligator clamp yipedand let go, scrambling back to the farthest reach of itsanchor-chain, where it cowered. The imp was free.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, thank you, thank you so much, ogrel” Quieta ex-claimed. “Here is your reward.” She held out a tiny disk.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash accepted it, balancing it on the tip of one finger,his gross brow furrowing like a newly plowed field.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s a disposable reflector,” Quieta explained proudly.Then, seeing that he did not comprehend: “A mirror, madefrom a film of soap-bubble. That’s what we imps do. Wemake pretty, iridescent bubbles for the fairies, and lensesfor sunbeams, and sparkles for the morning dew. Eachitem works only once, so we are constantly busy, I can tellyou. We call it planned obsolescence. So now you have anice little mirror. But remember\u2014you can use it only one<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntime.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash tucked the mirror into his bag, vaguely disap-pointed. Somehow, for no good reason, he had expected<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmore.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, you saved my father only once,” Quieta said de-fensively. “He’s not very big, either. It’s a perfect mirror,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou know.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash nodded, realizing that small creatures gave smallrewards. He wasn’t quite sure what use the mirror wouldbe to him, since ogres did not look at their own ugly facesvery much, because their reflections tended to break mir-rors and curdle the surfaces of calm lakes; in any event,this mirror was far too small and frail to sustain his image.Since it could be used only once, he would save it for animportant occasion. Then he tromped to a pillow bush,pounded it almost flat and lumpy, and snored himself tosleep while the jungle trembled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n20<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe weather was unconscionably fair the next day, butSmash tromped on regardless until he reached the castle ofthe Good Magician Humfrey. It was- not particularly im-posing. There was a small moat he could wade through,and an outer wall he could bash through\u2014practically an<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nopen invitation.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Smash had learned at Castle Roogna that it was bestto be polite around Magicians, and not to bash too care-lessly into someone’s castle. So he opened his bag of belong-ings and donned his finest apparel: an orange jacket andsteely gauntlets, given to him four years ago by the cen-taurs of Centaur Isle. The jacket was invulnerable to pene-tration by a weapon, and the gauntlets protected his ham-fists from the consequence of their own power. He had notworn these things before because he didn’t want them to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nget dirty. They were special.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow, properly dressed, he cupped his mug and bellowedpolitely: “Some creep asleep?” Just in case the Good Magi-cian wasn’t up yet.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was no response. Smash tried again. “Me Smash.Me bash.” That was letting the Magician know, delicately,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat he was coming in.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill no answer. It seemed Humfrey was not paying at-tention. Having exhausted his knowledge of the require-ments of human etiquette as he understood them. Smashproceeded to act. He waded into the water of the moat witha great and satisfying splash. Washing was un-ogrish, butsplashing wasn’t. In a moment the spume dimmed the sun-light and caused the entire castle to shine with moisture.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA sea monster swam to intercept him. Mostly that kinddid not frequent rivers or moats, but the Good Magicianhad an affinity for the unusual. “Hi, fly,” Smash said affa-bly, removing a gauntlet and raising a hairy hamfist ingreeting. He generally got along all right with monsters, if<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey were ugly enough.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe monster stared cross-eyed for a moment at the hugefist under its snout, noting the calluses, scars, and bama-clelike encrustations of gristle. Then the creature turnedtail and swam hastily away. Smash’s greetings sometimesaffected other creatures like that; he wasn’t sure why.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe redonned the gauntlet and forged on out of the moat,reaching a brief embankment from which th” wall rose. HeOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>21<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlifted one gauntleted hamfist to bash a convenient hole\u2014\u2022and spied something on the stone. It was a small lizard,dingy blah in color, with medium sandpaper skin, ineffi-cient legs, a truncated tail, and a pungent smell. Its meanlittle head swiveled around to fix on the ogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash’s gauntleted hand snapped out, covering the liz-ard, blocking its head off from view. Ogres were stupid butnot suicidal. This little monster was no ordinary lizard; itwas a basilisk! Its direct glance was fatal, even to an ogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhat was he to do? Soon the creature’s poisonous bodywould corrode the metal of the gauntlet, and Smash wouldbe in trouble. He couldn’t remain this way!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe remembered that Prince Dor had had a problem witha basilisk that was a cockatrice. Dor had sent news of abaleful henatrice, and the cock-lizard had hurried off at aswift crawl to find her. But Smash had no such resource;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe didn’t know where a hen might be, and realized that thisone might even be a henatrice. It was hard to look closelyenough to ascertain the sexual status of such a creaturewithout getting one’s eyeballs stoned. And if he had hap-pened to know where a basilisk of the opposite sex mightbe, how could he tell that news to this one? He didn’t speakthe language. For that he needed the assistance of hisfriend Grundy the Golem, who could speak any languageat all.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen he remembered the imp’s disposable reflector. Hefished in his bag with his left mitt and, after severalclumsy tries, brought it out. He stuck it to the tip of hisgauntleted finger and poked it toward the region where thebasilisk’s head should be.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCarefully he withdrew his right hand, averting his gaze.This was delicate work! If he aimed the mirror wrong, or ifit fell off his finger, or if the basilisk didn’t look\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was a plop on the ground at his feet. Oh, no! Themirror had fallen! Dismayed, he looked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe basilisk lay stunned. It had seen its own reflectionin the mirror and suffered the natural consequence. Itwould recover after a while\u2014but by then Smash would beout of its range.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe mirror had not dropped. It had shattered under theimpact of the basilisk’s glare. But it had done its job. Quieta’slittle reward had proved worthwhile.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash scooped out a handful of dirt and dumped it overthe body of the basilisk so that he would not accidentallylook at it. As long as that mound was intact, he wouldknow he was safe.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow he hefted his right fist and smashed it into thestone wall. Sand fragments flew outward from the impactwith satisfying force. This was sheer joy; only when exer-cising the prerogative of his name did Smash feel trulyhappy. Smashi Smash! Smashi Dust filled the air, and apile of rubble formed about him as the hole deepened.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSoon he was inside the castle. There was a second wall,an arm’s reach inside the first. Oh, goody! This one was alattice of bars, not nearly as substantial as the first, butmuch better than nothing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor variety. Smash used his left fist this time. After all,it needed fun and exercise, too. He smashed it into thebars.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe fist stopped short. Oooh, ouch! Only the gauntletpreserved it from injury, but it still smarted. This wasmuch tougher stuff than stone or metall<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash took hold of the bars with both hands andheaved. His power should have launched the entire walltoward the clouds, but there was nary a budge. This wasthe strongest stuff he had encountered!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash paused to consider. What material could resist themight of an ogre?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThinking was hard for his kind. His skull heated up un-comfortably, causing the resident fleas to jump off withhot feet. But in due course he concluded that there wasonly one thing as tough as an ogre, and that was anotherogre. He peered at the bars. Sure enough\u2014these wereogres’ bones, lashed together with ogres’ sinews. No wonderhe had found them impervious!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis was a formidable barrier. He could not bashblithely through it\u2014nor would he wish to, for the bones ofogres were sacred to ogres. Little else was.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash pondered some more. His brain was alreadysweating from the prior effort; now there was a scorchedsmell as the fur of his head grew hot. Ogres were creaturesof action, not cerebration! But again his valiant and painfuleffort was rewarded; he rammed through a notion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, ogres’ bones,” he said. “Me know zones of deep,deep ground where can’t be found.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe wall of bones quivered. All bad ogres craved inde-cent burial after death; it was one of their occasional linkswith the species of man. The best interment was in a gar-bage dump or toxic landfill for the disposal of poisonousplants and animals, but ordinary ground would do if prop-erly cursed and tromped down sufficiently hard.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Me pound in mound with round of sound,” Smash con-tinued, arguing his case with extraordinary eloquence.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat did it. The wall collapsed into an expectant pile.Smash picked up a bone, set it endwise against the ground,and, with a single blow of his gaundeted fist, drove it sodeep in the earth that it disappeared. He took another anddid the same. “Me flail he nail,” he grunted, invoking anogrish ritual of disposal. He was nailing the ground.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSoon all the bones were gone. “Me fling he string,” hesaid, poking the tendons down after the bones with his fin-ger and scooping dirt over the holes. Then he stomped themound, his big flat feet making the entire region reverber-ate boomingly. Stray stones fell from the walls of the castle,and the monster of the moat fled to the deepest muck.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAt last it was time for the concluding benediction. “Bonedark as ink, me think he stink!” he roared, and there was afinal swirl of dust and grit. The site had been cursed, andthe burial was done.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut now a new hazard manifested. This was a kind oflinear fountain, the orange liquid shooting up high and fall-ing back to flow into a channel like a small moat. It wasrather pretty\u2014but when Smash started to push through it,he drew back his hand with a grunt. That was not water\u2014it was firewater!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe tried to walk around it, but the ring of fire sur-rounded the inner castle. He tried to jump over, but theflames leaped gleefully higher than he could, licking up totoast his fur. Ogres could not be hurt by much, but theydid feel pain when burned. This was awkward.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe tried to pound out a tunnel under the fire, but thewater flowed immediately into it and roasted him somemore. It danced with flickering delight, with evilly glitter-ing eyes forming within its substance, winking, mocking<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n24\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Ogre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>.;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim, and fingers of flame elevating in obscene gestures.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>^This was in fact a firewater elemental, one of the most<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nformidable of spirits.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash pondered again. The effort gave him a splitting<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nheadache. He held his face together with his two paws,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>tforcing the split back together, squeezing his skull until thebone fused firm, and hurried back to the moat to soak his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhead.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>|The cool shock of water not only got his head back to-gether, it gave him an idea. Ideas were rare things forogres, and not too valuable. But this one seemed good. Wa-ter not only cooled heads, it quenched fire. Maybe he could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nuse the moat to break through the wall of fire.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe formed his paw into a flipper and scooped a splash<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthrough the hole in the outer wall toward the firewall. Thesplash scored\u2014but the fire did not abate. It leaped higher,crackling mirthfully. He scooped again, wetting the wholeregion, but with no better effect The firewall danced un-harmed, mocking him with foul-smelling noises.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgres were slow to anger, because they lacked the wit toknow when they were being insulted. But Smash was get-ting there. He scooped harder, his paw moving like a crudepaddle, hurling a steady stream of moatwater at the wall.Still the fire danced, though the water flooded the region.Smash labored yet harder, feeling the exhilaration of chal-lenge and violence, until the level of the moat lowered andthe entire cavity between the outer wall and the firewallsurged with muddy fluid. The sea monster’s tail was ex-posed by the draining water; it hastily squiggled deeper.Still the fire danced, humming a hymn of victory; it couldnot be quenched. Water was as much its element as fire. Itmerely flickered on the surface, spreading wider, reaching<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntoward Smash. Was there no way to defeat it?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Hoool” Smash exclaimed, frustrated. But the blast of ;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhis breath only made the flame bow concavely and leap yet |<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhigher. It liked hot air as well as cool water,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>j<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash couldn’t think of anything better to do, so he keptshoveling water. The flood level rose and backwatercoursed out through the gap. Smash tried to dam it up withrubble, but the level was too high. The fire still flickeredmerrily on the surface, humming a tune about an old<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nflame.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>25<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the ogre had one more smart notion, a prohibi-tively rare occurrence for his kind. He dived forward,spread his arms, and swam under the fire. It couldn’t reachhim below the moatwater. He came up beyond it, the lasthurdle navigated.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ccurrssess!” the firewater hissed furiously, and flick-ered out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Smash stood within a cluttered room. Books over-flowed shelves and piled up on the floor. Bottles and boxesperched everywhere, interspersed with assorted statuettesand amulets and papers. In the middle of it all, like an-other item of clutter, hunched over a similarly crowdedwooden desk, was a little gnome of a man. Smash recog-nized him\u2014the Good Magician Humfrey, the man whoknew everything.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHumfrey glanced up from his tome. “Don’t drip on mybooks, Smash,” he said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash fidgeted, trying not to drip on the books. Therewas hardly room for him to stand upright, and hardly aspot without a book, volume, or tome. He started to drip onan amulet, but it crackled ominously and he edged away.”Me no stir. Magician sir,” he mumbled, wondering howthe Good Magician knew his name. Smash knew of Hum-frey by description and reputation, but this was the firsttime the two had met.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, out with it, ogre,” the Magician snapped irritably.”What’s your Question?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Smash felt more awkward than ever. The truthwas, he did not know what to ask. He had thought his lifewould be complete when he achieved his full growth, butsomehow he found it Wasn’t. Something was missing\u2014andhe didn’t know what. Yet he could not rest until the miss-ing element was satisfied. So he had tromped to see theGood Magician, because that was what creatures withseemingly insoluble problems did\u2014but he lacked the intel-lect to formulate the Question. He had hoped to work it outduring the journey; but, with typical ogrish wit, he had for-gotten all about it until this moment. There was no gettingaround it; there were some few occasions when an ogre wastoo stupid for his own good. “No know,” he confessed,standing on one of his own feet.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHumfrey scowled. He was a very old gnome, and it was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n26\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>O^fe, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nquite a scowl. “You came here to serve a year’s service foran Answer\u2014and you don’t have a Question?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash had a Question, he was sure; he just didn’t knowhow to formulate it. So he stood silent, dripping on stray<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nartifacts, like the unsmart oaf he was.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHumfrey sighed. “Even if you asked it, it wouldn’t bethe right Question,” he said. “People are forever asking thewrong Questions, and wasting their efforts. I remember notlong ago a girl came to ask how to change her nature. Cha-meleon, her name was, except she wasn’t called that then.Her nature was just fine; it was her attitude that needed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nchanging.” He shook his head.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs it happened. Smash knew Chameleon. She wasPrince Dor’s mother, and she changed constantly fromsmart to stupid and from beautiful to ugly. Humfrey wasright: her nature was just fine. Smash liked to talk withher when she was down at his own level of idiocy, and tolook at her when she was at his level of ugliness. But thetwo never came together, unfortunately. Still, she was afairly nice person, considering that she was human.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Very well,” Humfrey said in a not-very-well voice. “Weare about to have a first: an Answer without a Question.Are you sure you wish to pay the fee?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash wasn’t sure, but did not know how to formulatethat uncertainty, either. So he just nodded afBrmatively,his shaggy face scaring a cuckoo bird that had been aboutto signal the hour. The bird signaled the hour with a terri-fied dropping instead of a song, and retreated into its<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncubby.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So be it,” the Magician said, shrugging. “You will dis-cover what you need among the Ancestral Ogres.” Then hegot up and marched to the door. “Come on; my effaced<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwife will see about your service.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNumbly, Smash followed. Now he had his Answer\u2014and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe didn’t understand it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey went downstairs\u2014apparently, somehow, in a man-ner that might have been intelligible to a creature ofgreater wit, Smash had gotten upstairs in the process ofswimming under the firewall and emerging in the GoodMagician’s study\u2014where Humfrey’s wife awaited them.This was the lovely, faceless Gorgon\u2014faceless because ifher face were allowed to show, it would turn men instantly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>27<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto stone. Even faceless, she was said to have a somewhatpetrifying effect. “Here he is,” Humfrey said, as if deliver-ing a bag of bad apples.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon looked Smash up and down\u2014or seemed to.Several of the little serpents that substituted for her hairhissed. “He certainly looks like an ogre,” she remarked. “Ishe housebroken?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Of course he’s not housebroken!” Humfrey snapped.”He dripped all over my studyl Where’s the girl?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Tandy!” the Gorgon called.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA small girl appeared, rather pretty in a human way,with brown tresses and blue eyes and a spunky, tumed-upnose. “Yes’m?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Tandy, you have completed your year’s service thisdate,” the Gorgon said. “Now you will have your Answer.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe little girl’s eyes brightened like noontime patches ofclear sky. She squiggled with excitement. “Oh, thank you,Gorgon. I’m almost sorry to leave, but I really should re-turn home. My mother is getting tired of only seeing me inthe magic mirror. What is my Answer?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon nudged Humfrey, her voluptuous body rip-pling as she moved. “The Answer, spouse.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh. Yes,” the Good Magician agreed, as if this had notbefore occurred to him. He cleared his throat, considering.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Also say, what me pay,” Smash said, not realizing thathe was interrupting an important cogitation.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The two of you travel together,” Humfrey said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash stared down at the tiny girl, and Tandy stared upat the hulking ogre. Each was more dismayed than theother. The ogre stood two and a half times the height of thegirl, and that was the least of the contrast between them.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I didn’t ask\u2014” Tandy protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What me task?” Smash said simultaneously. Had hebeen more alert, he might have thought to marvel that eventhis overlapping response rhymed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon seemed to smile. “Sometimes my husband’spronouncements need a little interpretation,” she said. “Heknows so much more than the rest of us, he fails to makeproper allowance for our ignorance.” She pinched Hum-frey’s cheek in a remarkably familiar manner. “He meansthis: the two of you. Smash and Tandy, are to travelthrough the wilds of Xanth together, fending off hazards<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n28<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n29<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntogether. That is the ogre’s service in lieu of a year’s laborat this castle\u2014protecting his companion. It is also the girl’sAnswer, for which she has already paid.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s exactly what I said,” Humfrey grumped.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You certainly did, dear,” the Gorgon agreed, planting afaceless loss on the top of his head.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it doesn’t make sense!” Tandy protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It doesn’t have to make sense,” the Gorgon explained.”It’s an Answer.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOh. Now Smash understood, as far as he was able.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“May I go back to my tome?” the Good Magician askedpetulantly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why, of course you may,” the Gorgon replied gra-ciously, patting his backside as he turned. The Good Magi-cian climbed back up toward his study. Smash knew theman had lost valuable working time, but somehow the Ma-gician did not seem unhappy. Naturally the nuances of hu-man interrelations were beyond the comprehension of amere ogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon returned her attention to them. “He’s such adarling,” she remarked. “I really don’t know how he sur-vived a century without me.” She focused, seemingly, onTandy. “And you might, if you would, do me a favor onthe way,” the Gorgon said. “I used to live on an island nearthe Magic Dust Village, which I think is right on yourroute to Lake Ogre-Chobee. I fear I caused some mischieffor that village in my youth; I know I am not welcomethere. But my sister the Siren remains in the area, and ifyou would convey my greetings to her\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But how can I travel with an ogre?” Tandy protested.”That’s not an Answer; that’s a punishment 1 He’ll gobbleme up the first time he gets hungryl”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not necessarily so,” the Gorgon demurred. “Smash isno ordinary ogre. He’s honest and halfway civilized. Hewill perform his service correctly, to the best of his limitedunderstanding. He will not permit any harm to come toyou. In fact, you could hardly have a better guardian whiletraversing the jungles of Xanth.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But how does this solve my problem, even if I’m notgobbled up?” Tandy persisted. Smash saw that her spunkynose was a correct indication of her character; she had a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfighting spirit despite her inadequate size. “Traveling won’tsolve a thing! There’s nowhere I can go to\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon touched the girl’s lips with a forefinger.”Let your problem be private for now, dear. Just accept myassurance. If my husband says traveling will solve yourproblem, then traveling will solve it. Humfrey knew anogre would be coming here at this time, and knew youneeded that sort of protection, since you have so little fa-miliarity with the outside world. Believe me, it will turnout for the best.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I don’t have anywhere to go!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, but Smash does. He is seeking the AncestralOgres.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A whole tribe of ogres? I’m absolutely doomed!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon’s expression was facelessly reproving. “Nat-urally you do not have to follow the advice you paid for,dear. But the Good Magician Humfrey really does knowbest.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I think he’s getting old,” Tandy said rebelliously.”Maybe he doesn’t know as much as he used to.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“He likes to claim that he’s forgotten more than he everknew,” the Gorgon said. “Perhaps that is so. But do notunderestimate him. And don’t misjudge this ogre.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy pouted. “Oh, all right! I’ll go with the monster.But if he gobbles me up, you’ll be responsible! I’ll neverspeak to you again.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I accept the responsibility,” the Gorgon agreed. “NowSmash is hungry.” She turned to him. “Come to thekitchen, ogre, for a peck or two of raw potatoes. Theyhaven’t been cleaned, and some have worms; you’ll likethem.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re joking!” Tandy said. Then she looked again atSmash, who was licking his chops. “You’re not joking!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well spoke; no joke,” Smash agreed, hoping therewould also be a few barrels of dirty dishwater to glug downwith the potatoes. Tandy grimaced.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 3. Eye Queue<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey traveled together, but it was no pleasurefor either. Smash had to take tiny slow steps to enable thegirl to keep up, and Tandy made it plain she consideredthe ogre to be a monstrous lout. She refused to let himcarry her, as he could readily have done; despite the Gor-gon’s assurances, she was afraid of getting gobbled. Sheseemed to have a thing about monsters, and male monstersin particular; she hated them. So they wended their tediousway south toward Lake Ogre-Chobee\u2014a journey thatshould have taken Smash alone a single day, but promisedto take several days with Tandy. The Good Magician hadcertainly come up with a bad chore in lieu of his year’sservice for an Answer! And Smash still didn’t know what<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nQuestion had been answered.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe scenery was varied. At first they crossed rollinghills; it took some time for Tandy to get the hang of walk-ing on a hill that rolled, and she took several tumbles. For-tunately, the hills were covered with soft, green turf, sothat the girl could roll with the punches, head over feetwithout much damage. Smash did note, as a point of disin-terest, that his companion was not the child she seemed.She was very small even for her kind, but in the course ofher tumbles she displayed well-formed limbs and torso. Shewas a little woman, complete in every small detail. Smashknew about such details because he had once traveled toMundania with Prince Dor and Princess Irene, and thatgirl Irene had somehow managed to show off every salientfeature of her sex in the course of the adventure, all thewhile protesting that she wanted no one to see. Tandy had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n30<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>31<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nless of each, but was definitely of a similar overall configu-ration. And her exposures, it seemed, were genuinely unin-tentional, rather than artful. She evidently had no notion ofwhat to wear on such a trip. In fact, she seemed amazinglyignorant of Xanth terrain. It was as if she had never beenhere before\u2014which, of course, was nonsense. Every citizenof Xanth had lived in Xanth, as had even the zombies andghosts, who no longer lived, but remained active.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAfter they passed the rolling hills they came to a morestable area, where a tangle tree held sway. Tanglers werelike dragons and ogres in this respect: no sensible creaturetangled voluntarily with one. Smash didn’t even thinkabout it; he just stepped around it, letting it sway alone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Tandy walked straight down the neat, clear paththat always led to such trees, innocently sniffing the pleas-ant fragrance of the evil plant. She was almost within itsquiveringly hungry embrace before Smash realized that shereally didn’t know what it was.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash dived for the girl, trying to snatch her out of thegrasp of the twitching tentacles. “No gol” he bellowed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy saw him. “Eeek! The monster’s going to gobbleme!” she cried. But it was Smash she meant, not the realmenace. She scooted on inside the canopy of the dreadtree.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWith a gleeful swish, the hanging tentacles pounced.Five of them caught her legs, arms, and head. The girl washauled up and carried toward the slavering wooden orificein the base of the trunk. She screamed foolishly, as was herkind’s wont in such circumstances.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash took only a moment to assess the situation.Thought with his brain was tedious and fatiguing and nonetoo effective, but thought with his muscles was swift andsure. He saw Tandy in midair, wearing a pretty red printdress and matching red slippers; tentacles were grabbing atthese, assuming them to be edible portions. One tentaclewas tugging at her hair, dislodging the red ribbon in it. In amoment the tree would realize that the red was only thewrapping, and would tear that away and get down to seri-ous business.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash could handle a small tangler; he was, after all, anogre. But this was a big tangler. It had a hundred or morepythonlike tentacles, and a personality to match its<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n32 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstrength. There was no way to negotiate or to reason withit; Smash had to fight.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre charged in. That wasn’t hard; tanglers wantedcreatures to enter their turf. It was the getting out againthat was difficult. He grabbed the mass of tentacles thathad wrapped around the terrified and struggling girl. “Treelet be,” he grunted, hauling the works back away from thesap-drooling orifice.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow, tanglers were ferocious, but not unduly stupid.This tree was full-sized\u2014but so was the ogre. Very fewthings cared to cross an ogre. The tree hesitated, and itscoils about the girl loosened.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the tree decided that it could, after all, handle thischallenge and gain a respectable meal in the bargain. Itattacked Smash with its remaining tentacles.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash had been wary of this, but was stuck for it. Hegrabbed a tentacle in each hand and yanked\u2014but the ma-terial was flexible and stretchable, and moved with him.He lacked the leverage to rip the tentacles out. Meanwhile,Tandy was being carried back to the orifice, trailing tornswatches of red cloth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash tried a new tactic: he squeezed. Now the treekeened in vegetable pain as its two tentacles were con-stricted into jelly, dripped and spurted juice, and finallywere lopped off. But the thing expected to take somelosses, and it could always grow new tentacles; Tandy wasalmost at the glistening maw. A limber fiber tongue wastasting the red fabric. By the dme Smash could truncate allthe tentacles, the girl would be long digested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash hurled himself at the orifice. He smashed hisgauntleted fists into it, breaking off the wooden teeth. Sapsplashed, burning his fur where it struck. The tree roaredwith a sound like sundering timber, but the tentacles keptcoming.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre braced himself before the orifice, blocking theentry of the girl. She banged into him before the tree real-ized this, and he was able to grab a couple more tentaclesand pinch them off. Now the tree could not consume heruntil it dealt with him\u2014and he was turning out to betougher than it had anticipated. In fact, he was turning outtougher than he had anticipated; he had thought the treehad the advantage, but he was faring pretty well.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>33<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was a bad thing in Xanth when a predator misjudgedits foe. The tree was now in trouble, but had to fight on.As new tentacles converged. Smash caught them, twistedseveral together, and tied their tips into a great raveledknot that he shoved into the orifice in the trunk. The mawclosed automatically, squirting digestive sap\u2014and the treesuffered a most unpleasant surprise. The keening of agonymagnified piercingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDuring this distraction. Smash unwrapped the girl,squeezing each tentacle until it let go. Soon Tandy stood onthe ground, disheveled, shaken, but intact. “So\u2014go,”Smash said, catching other questing tentacles to clear herescape.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe girl scooted out. She might be small and ignorant,but she didn’t freeze long in a crisis! Now Smash retreatedcautiously, glaring at hovering tentacles to discourage re-newed attack. But the tree had had enough; the ogre haddefeated it. There was no further aggression.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash stepped out, privately surprised. How was it hehad been able to foil a tangler this size? He concentrated,with effort, and managed to come to a conclusion; he hadgrown since the last time he had tangled with a tangler.Before, he would not have been strong enough to handle it;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnow, with his larger mass and the gauntlets, he had the ad-vantage. His self-image had not kept pace with his physicalcondition. He knew his father Crunch could have handledthis tree; he, Smash, was now as powerful as that.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy was waiting for him down the path. She wassadly bedraggled, her dress in tatters, and bruises on herbody, but her spirit remained spunky. “I guess I have toapologize to you. Smash,” she said. “I thought\u2014nevermind what I thought. You risked your life to save me frommy folly. I was being childish; you were mature.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Sure\u2014mature,” Smash agreed, uncertain what she wasgetting at. People did not apologize to ogres, so he had nobasis for comprehension.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, next time you tell me ‘no go,’ I’ll pay better at-tention,” she concluded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe shrugged amenably. That would make things easier.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe day was getting on, and they were tired. Battlingtangle trees tended to have that effect. Smash -located amuffin bush with a number of fresh ripe muffins, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n34<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n35<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nused his finger to punch a hole in a lime-soda tree so theycould drink. Then he found a deserted harpy nest in a tree,long since weathered out, so that the filth and smell weregone. He harvested a blanket from a blanket bush and usedit to line the nest. This was for Tandy to sleep in. It tookher some time to catch on, but as darkness loomed acrossthe land in the grim way it had in the wilderness, and thenocturnal noises began, she was glad enough to clamber toit scad curl up in it. He noted that she was good at climb-ing, though she hardly seemed to know what a tree was.He settled down below, on guard.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy did not sleep immediately. Curled in her nest, shetalked. Apparently this was a human trait. “You know,Smash, I’ve never been out on the surface of Xanth on footbefore. I was raised in the caverns, and then I rode a night-mare to the Good Magician’s castle. That was an accident;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI really wanted to go to Castle Roogna to see my father,Crombie. But dawn came too soon, and I was out of sleep-ing pills, and\u2014well, I sort of had to ask a Question so as tohave a nice place to stay until I figured out what to do. Ispent a whole year working inside the castle; I never evenset foot beyond the moat, because I was afraid a certainparty would be lurking for me. So it’s not surprising I don’tknow about things like rolling hills and tangle trees.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat explained a lot. Smash realized he would have towatch her more closely, to be sure she did not walk into alethal trap. The Magician’s rationale for having her travelwith him was making more sense. She certainly could notsafely travel alone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m sorry I distrusted you. Smash,” she continued inher talkative way. “You see, I was raised near demons, andin some ways you resemble a demon. Big and strong anddusky. I was prejudiced.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash grunted noncommittally. He had not met manydemons, but doubted they could powder rock in the man-ner of ogres.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I certainly have a lot to learn, don’t I?” she continuedruefully. “I thought trees were sweet plants and ogres werebad brutes, and now I know they aren’t.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOops. “Ogre. No\u2014grrr!” Smash exclaimed emphatically.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy was quick to catch on; she had the ready intelli-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngence of her kind. “You mean I shouldn’t trust all ogres?That they really do gobble people?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ogres prone to crunch bone,” Smash agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But you didn’t\u2014I\u2014 mean\u2014” she grew doubtful.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Smash work hard, girl to guard.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, you mean because the Good Magician charged youwith my protection,” she said, relieved. “Your service foryour Answer. So ogres do gobble people and crunch bones,but they also honor their obligations.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash didn’t follow all of the vocabulary, but it soundedabout right, so he grunted assent.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Very well. Smash,” she concluded. “I’ll trust you, butwill be wary of all other ogres. And all other things ofXanth, too, especially if they seem too nice to be true.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was indeed best. They lapsed into sleep.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNo one bothered them in the night. After all, the night-mares had to be wary of Tandy, after she had ridden oneof them, and he wasn’t sure whether the mares knew howto climb trees. As for himself\u2014it was always the best pol-icy to let a sleeping ogre lie.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey breakfasted on sugar sand and cocoa-nut milk.Tandy had never before- drunk cocoa and was intrigued bythe novelty. She was also amazed by the way Smash liter-ally shoveled the sugar into his mouth, hardly pausing tochew, and crunched up whole cocoa-nuts, husks and all.”You really are a monster,” she said, half admiringly, andSmash grunted agreement, pleased.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen they resumed their trek south, encountering onlyroutine creatures. A toady was hopping north, looking forsome important person to advise; when told that CastleRoogna was many days of hopping distant, it contorted itsbroad and warty mouth into a scowl. “I hope I don’t croakbefore I get there,” it said, and moved on. Croaking, itseemed, was bad form for toadies.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen there was the quack, with a wide bill and webbedfeet and a bag of special magic medicines. He was, he ex-plained, looking for a suitable practice, where his marvel-ous remedies would be properly appreciated. Meanwhile,did they happen to knew where Pete was? Pete was a bog,very good for delving. Since Pete wasn’t north, where<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n36 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy and Smash had come from, and probably wasn’tsouth, where the Magic Dust Village was supposed to be,and wasn’t west, where the quack had come from, it had tobe east, by elimination. The quack coughed and, his mindjogged by the term, deposited some genuine fresh birdlimeon the ground. Flies instantly materialized, having a tastefor lime, and Smash and Tandy moved on.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBy noon they were in rougher territory. Sweatersswarmed about them, causing them to perspire, untilSmash got fed up and issued a bellowing roar that blewthem all away. Unfortunately, it also blew the leaves offthe nearest trees, and several more tatters from Tandy’sdress.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen they encountered a region of curse-burrs\u2014littleballs of irritation that clung tenaciously to any portion ofthe body they encountered. Smash’s face lit up in a horren-dous smile. “Me remember here!” he cried. “Me whelpednear.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You were born here? Amidst these awful burrs?”Tandy smiled ruefully. “I should have known.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash laughed. It sounded like a rockslide in a canyon.”Me sire Crunch, best of bunch.” He looked avidly about,whelphood memories filtering back into his thick skull. Lat-er, his family had moved to the vicinity of Castle Roogna,because his lovely mother, whose hair was like nettles andwhose face would make a zombie blush, had felt their cubshould have some slight exposure to civilization. Crunch,the slave of love, had acceded to this un-ogrish notion; whocould resist the blandishments of such a mushface asSmash’s mother?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, this is awful!” Tandy protested. “These burrs aregetting in my hair.” It seemed human girls were sensitiveto that sort of thing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Could be worse,” Smash said helpfully. “She makecurse.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Curse?” she asked blankly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash demonstrated. “Burr\u2014grrr!” he growled. A burrdropped lifelessly off his gross nose.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t think I can make such rhymes,” Tandy said.Then a burr stuck her finger. “Get away, you awfulthing!” she exploded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe burr dropped off. Tandy looked at it, comprehend-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>37<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning. She was certainly intelligent! “Oh, I see. You just haveto curse them away!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nEven so, it was not easy, for Tandy had been raised as anice girl and did not know many curses. They hurried outof the burr region.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow they came to a dead forest. The trees stood gaunt,petrified in place. “I’d like to know how that happened,”Tandy remarked. Smash knew, but it was a long story in-volving the romantic meeting of his parents, and it washard for him to formulate it properly, so he let it go..<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn the afternoon they came to a region of brambles.These were aggressive plants with glistening spikes. Smashcould wade through them imperviously, for his skin was sotough he hardly felt the few thorns they dared to stick himwith. It was quite another matter for Tandy, who had deli-cate and sweet-smelling skin, the kind that was made to betormented by thorns.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere were neatly cleared paths through the bramblesthat Tandy was inclined to use, but Smash cautioned heragainst this. “Lion, ant, between plant.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHer small brow wrinkled. “I don’t see anything.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen an ant-lion appeared. It had the head of a lion andthe body of an ant, and massed about as much as the girldid; it was, of course, ten times as ferocious as anything anice girl could imagine. It roared when it spied her, strid-ing forward aggressively.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash roared back. The ant-lion hastily reversed course;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit had been so distracted by the luscious prey that it hadnot before seen the unluscious guardian. But Smash knewthat soon many more would arrive and would swarm overthe intruders. This was no safe place, even for the likes ofhimself.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now I understand,” Tandy said, turning pale. “Smash,let’s get out of here!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut already there were rustlings behind them. The ant-lions had surrounded them. There would be no easy escape.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Me know path, avoid ant wrath,” Smash said, lookingupward. How fortunate that he had been raised in this vi-cinity, so that useful details of geography were comingback to his slow memory!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I couldn’t swing from branch to branch through the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n38 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntrees the way I’m sure you can,” Tandy said, “I’m agile,but not that agile. I’d be sure to fall.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut the ant-lions were closing in, a full pride of them.Smash had to pick Tandy up to get her out of their reach.Thus burdened, he was unable to fight effectively. Realiz-ing this, the ants grew bolder, closing in, growling andsnapping. The situation was getting awkward.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen Smash spied what he was looking for\u2014the aerealpath. “Take care. Go there,” he said, boosting the girl upby her pert bottom.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it’s sidewise!” she protested, peering at the pathwith dismay. “I’d fall offi”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Stand tall. No fall,” he insisted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy obviously didn’t believe him. But an ant-lionleaped for her, jaws gaping, large front pincers snapping,so she reached up to grab for the high path.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSuddenly she landed on it\u2014sidewise. “I’m level!” shecried, amazed. “The world has turned!” She stood up, orrather sidewise, her body parallel to the ground.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash didn’t worry about it. He knew the properties ofthe path, having played on it as a cub. It was alwayslevel\u2014to the person on it. He was now far too massive touse it himself, since the aereal path was getting old and brit-tle, but he didn’t need to. He was now unencumbered, free todeal with the lions his own way.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe lions, angered at the escape of the lesser prey,pounced on the greater prey. That was foolish of them.Smash emitted a battle bellow that tore their whiskers backand clogged then- pincers with debris, then began stomp-ing and pounding. Lions yowled as the gauntleted fists con-nected, and screeched as the hairy feet found flesh. ThenSmash picked up two ants by their narrow waists andhurled them into the nettles. He took a moment to rip asmall hemlock tree out of the ground, shaking the locksfrom its hem, and bit off its top, forming a fair club fromthe remaining trunk. Soon the path was clear; the ant-lions,like the tangle tree, had learned new respect for ogres.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re really quite something. Smash!” Tandy called,clapping her hands. “You’re a real terror when you getworked up. I’ll bet there’s nothing more formidable than anangry ogre!” She had an excellent view of the proceedings<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>39<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrom the elevated path, dodging when an ant flew past.Ant-lions did not normally fly; this was a consequence ofbeing hurled out of the way. Ants were now stuck in anumber of the jungle trees.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Me know who,” Smash grunted, pleased. “Ogres two.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe laughed. “That figures. The only thing tougher thanone ogre is two ogres.” She was now standing inverted, herbrown tresses hanging naturally about her shoulders as ifshe were upright. She looked about, from her vantage.”The ants aren’t gone, just backed oif. Smash,” she re-ported. “Can you come up here?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash shook his head no. But he wasn’t worried. Hecould use the ant paths. If the ants wanted a little moreogre-type fun, he would gladly accommodate them.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey proceeded south, Tandy tilting with the orientationof the aereal path, sometimes upright, sometimes not, en-joying the experience. “There is nothing much in the cav-erns like this!” she commented.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash tromped along the ant highways, tearing throughnettles when he needed to change paths. Soon the nettlesand ants were left behind, but the high path continued, soTandy stayed on it. Smash knew it terminated at the MagicDust Village, and since they had to pass there anyway, thiswas convenient. According to Castle Roogna information,the Magic Dusters had once had a population problem, notbeing able to hold on to their males, so they had con-structed the skyway to encourage immigration. Now therewere plenty of people at the village, so the path didn’t mat-ter, but no one had bothered to take it down. Smash andTandy made excellent progress.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow they passed a region of hanging vines. They weretwined, almost braided, like queues, and seemed to haveeyes looking out from their recesses. Smash distrusted un-familiar things in general and dangling vines in particular,so he avoided the Eye Queues. They could be harmless, orthey could be bloodsuckers. This was beyond the region ofhis cubhood familiarity, and anyway, things could havechanged in the interim. One could never take magic forgranted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe also kept an eye on Tandy, above, to make sure shedid not brush against any vines. As a result, he didn’t pay<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n40 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nclose enough attention to his big feet\u2014and stumbled over aminor boulder that was damming a streamlet, much to thestreamlet’s annoyance.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe boulder dam shattered, of course; it was only stone.The streamlet gladly flowed through, with a burble ofthanks to its deliverer. But Smash suffered a momentaryloss of balance, his feet sinking into the sodden riverbed,and he lurched headlong into a hanging vine.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe thing wrapped disgustingly around his head. Hesnatched at it, but already it was sinking into his fur andhis flesh and hurting terribly when he tried to scrape itloose. Since an ogre’s course was generally that of mostresistance. Smash put both hands to his scalp andscraped\u2014and the burgeoning agony made him reel.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Stop, Smash, stop!” Tandy screamed from above.”You’ll rip off your head!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash stopped. “I concur. There is no sense in that.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy stared down at him. “What did you say?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I said there is no sense in mortifying my flesh, sincethe queue does not appear to have seriously incapacitatedme.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Smash\u2014you’re not rhyming!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why\u2014so I am not!” he agreed, startled. “That must bethe curse of the Eye Queue; it has disrupted my naturalmechanism of communication.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s done more than that!” Tandy exclaimed. “Smash,you sound smart!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That must be a fallacious impression. No ogre is undulyintelligent.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, you sure sound smart!” she insisted. “That EyeQueue, as you call it, must have added some brains to yourhead.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u2022 “That seems reasonable,” he agreed, after cogitating mo-mentarily without effort. “The effect manifested concur-rently with my contact with that object. Probability sug-gests a causal connection. This, of course, is much worsethan any purely physical attack would have been; it hastemporarily un-ogred me. I must expunge it from my sys-tem!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, no, don’t do that,” she protested. “It’s sort of inter-esting, really. I don’t mind you being smart. Smash. It’smuch easier to talk with you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>41<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“In any event, I seem unable for the moment to deacti-vate it,” Smash said. “It seems I must tolerate this curse forthe time being. But I assure you I shall be alert for anantidote.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Okay,” she said. “If that’s the way you feel.””Indubitably.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey went on\u2014and now Smash noted things that hadn’tinterested him before. He saw how erosion had caused riftsin the land, and how the forest stratified itself, with light-indifferent vegetation and fungi at the nether levels andbright, broad leaves above to catch the descending light ofthe sun. The entire jungle was a cohesive unit, functioningcompatibly with its environment. All over Xanth, thingswere integrating\u2014in his new awareness. How blind he hadbeen to the wonders of magic, all his life!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs dusk closed, the aereal path descended to the ground,and they arrived at the Magic Dust Village. A troll cameforth to meet them. “Ogre, do you come in peace or may-hem?” the creature inquired, standing poised for flightwhile other villagers hastily manned the fortifications andcleared children and the aged from the region.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“In peace!” Tandy said quickly. “I am Tandy; this isSmash, who is protecting me from monsters.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe troll’s eyes gaped. This was an unusual expression,even for this type of creature. “Protecting you from\u2014?””Yes.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now, we have no prejudice against monsters here,” thetroll said, scratching his long and homy nose with a discol-ored claw. “I’m a monster myself, and some of my bestfriends are monsters. But only a fool trusts an ogre.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, I’m a fool,” Tandy said. “This ogre fought a tan-gle tree to save me.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Are you sure you aren’t a kidnap victim? You certainlydo look good enough to eat.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash did not appreciate the implication, which wouldhave passed him by had he not suffered the curse of theEye Queue vine. “My father is Crunch, the vegetarianogre,” he said gruffly. “My family has not kidnapped any-one in years.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe troll looked at him, startled. “You certainly don’tsound like an ogre! Did the Transformer-King transformyou to this shape?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n42 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I was whelped an ogre!” Smash insisted, the first tracesof roar coming into his voice.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the troll made a connection. “Ah, yes. Crunchmarried a curse-fiend actress. You have human lineage;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat must account for your language.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It must,” Smash agreed drolly. He found he didn’t careto advertise his misadventure with the vine. He would belaughed out of the village if its inhabitants learned he wasintelligent. “But I should advise you, purely in the interestof amity, that I have been known to take exception to theappellation ‘half-breed.’ I am a true ogre.” He picked up anearby knot of green wood and squeezed it in one hand.The green juice dripped as the wood pulped, until at lastthere was a pool of green on the ground and the knot hadbecome a lump of coal.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, indeed,” the troll agreed hastily. “No one herewould think of using that term. Welcome to our table forsupper; you are surely hungry.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We are only passing through,” Tandy said. “We’regoing to Lake Ogre-Chobee.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You can’t get there from here,” the troll said. “The Re-gion of Madness intervenes.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Madness?” Tandy asked, alarmed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“From the airborne magic dust we process. Magic isvery potent here, and too much of it leads to alarming ef-fects. You will have to go around.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey did not argue the case. Smash’s inordinate intelli-gence, coupled with his memories of this region, corrobor-ated the information; he knew it would be impossible forhim to protect Tandy in the Region of Madness. Therewere tales of the constellations of the night coming to life,and of reality changing dangerously. In Xanth, things weremostly what they seemed to be, so that illusion was oftenreality. But illusion could be taken too far in the height-ened magic of the Madness. Smash was now too smart torisk it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey joined the villagers’ supper. Creatures of everytype came forth to feed, all well behaved: elves, gnomes,goblins, a manticore, fauns, nymphs, fairies, human beings,centaurs, griffins, and assorted other creatures. The hostesswas the troll’s mate, Trolla. “It is much easier to arrivethan to depart,” she explained as she served up helpings of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>43<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsmashed potatoes and poured out goblets of mead. “Wehave never had opportunity to construct an exit ramp, andour work mining the source of magic is important, so westay. You may choose to remain also: we labor hard, but itis by no means a bad life.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash exchanged a glance with Tandy, since it occurredto him that this might be the sort of situation she was look-ing for. But she was negative. “We have a message fromthe sister of a neighbor of yours. We must get on and de-liver it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A neighbor?” Trolla asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She is called the Siren.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was a sudden hush.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You know,” Tandy said. “The sister of the Gorgon.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You are friend to the Gorgon?” Trolla asked coldly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I hardly know her,” Smash said quickly, rememberingthat this village had suffered at the Gorgon’s hands\u2014orrather, her face, having had all the men turned to stone.Fortunately, that mischief had been undone at the time ofthe loss of magic, when all Xanth had become as drear asMundania, briefly. Numerous spells had been aborted inthat period, changing Xanth in ways that were still unrav-eling. “I had to see Good Magician Humfrey, and she’s hiswife. She asked us to say hello to the Siren.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I see.” Trolla relaxed, and the others followed herexample. There were murmurs of amazement and awe.”The Good Magician’s wife! And she turned him tostone?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not anywhere we could see,” Tandy said, then blushed.”Uh, that is\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTrolla smiled. “He’s probably too old for such enchant-ment anyway, so the sight of her merely stiffens his spine,or whatever.” She gulped a goblet of mead. “The Siren nolonger lures people, since a smart centaur broke her magicdulcimer. She is not a bad neighbor, but we really don’tassociate with her.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey finished their repast, Smash happily consuming allthe refuse left after the others were done. The villagers setthem up with rooms for the night. Smash knew these werehonest, well-meaning folk, so he didn’t worry about Tan-dy’s safety here.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs he lay on his pile of straw. Smash thought about the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplace of the Magic Dust Village in the scheme of Xanth.Stray references to it bubbled to the surface of his mem-ory\u2014things he had heard at different times in his life andthought nothing of, since ogres thought nothing of every-thing. From these suddenly assimilating fragments he wasnow able to piece together the role of this village, geologi-cally. Here it was that the magic dust welled to the surfacefrom the mysterious depths. The villagers pulverized it andemployed a captive roc-bird to flap its wings and waft hugeclouds of the dust into the air, where it caused madnessclose by, technicolor hailstorms farther distant, and magicfor the rest of Xanth as it diluted to natural backgroundintensity. If the villagers did not perform this service, themagic dust would tend to clump, and the magic would beunevenly distributed, causing all manner of problems.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCertainly the Magic Dusters believed all this, and la-bored most diligently to facilitate the proper and evenspreading of the dust. Yet Smash’s Eye Queue-infectedbrain obnoxiously conjured caveats, questioning the reali-ties the villagers lived by.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIf the magic really came from the dust, it should endureas long as the dust did, fading only slowly as the dust woreout. Yet at the Time of No Magic, all Xanth had beenrendered Mundane instantly. That had happened just be-fore Smash himself had been whelped, but his parents hadtold him all about it. They had considered it rather ro-mantic, perhaps even a signal of their love. Crunch had losthis great strength in that time, but other creatures had beenaffected far more, and many had died. Then the magichad returned, as suddenly as it had departed, and Xanthhad been as it was before. There had been no great move-ments of dust then, no dust storms. That suggested that themagic of Xanth was independent of the dust.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe dust came from below, and if it brought the magic,the nether regions must be more magical than the surface.Tandy had lived below, yet she seemed normal. She did noteven appear to have a magic talent. So how could the magicbe concentrated below?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Smash decided not to raise these questions openly,as they would only make things awkward for the villagers.And perhaps the belief of the Dusters was right and hisvine-sponsored objections were wrong. After all, what<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncould a Queue of Eyes understand of the basic nature ofXanth?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHis thought turned to a bypath. A magic talent\u2014thatmust be what Tandy was questing for! He, as an ogre, wasfortunate; ogres had strength as their talent. When Smashhad gone to Mundania, outside the magic, ambience ofXanth, he had lost his strength and his rhyme, distress-ingly. Now he had lost his rhymes and his naivete, but nothis strength.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWas the infliction of the curse of the Eye Queue reallyso bad? There were indeed pleasures in the insights thisartificial intelligence afforded him. Yet ogres were sup-posed to be stupid; he felt sadly out of place.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash decided to keep quiet, most of the time, and letTandy do the talking. He might no longer be a proper ogrein outlook, but at least he could seem like an ogre. If hegenerated an illusion of continuing stupidity, perhaps intime he would achieve it again. Certainly this was worththe hope. Meanwhile, his shame would remain mostly se-cret.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>47<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 4. Catastrophe<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn the morning they walked along an old ground-bound path to the small lake that contained the Siren’sisle. It was pretty country, with few immediate hazards,and so Smash found it dull, while Tandy liked it very well.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren turned out to be a mature mermaid who hadprobably been stunning in her youth and was not too farfrom it even now. She evidently survived by fishing andseemed satisfied with her lot, or more correctly, her pond.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We bring greetings from your sister the Gorgon,”Tandy called as they crossed the path over the water to theisland.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nImmediately the mermaid was interested. She emergedfrom the water and changed to human form\u2014her fish-tailsimply split into two well-formed legs\u2014and came to meetthem, still changing. She had been nude in the water, but ithardly mattered since she was a fish below the waist. Butas she dried, the scales that had covered her tail convertedto a scale-sequin dress that nudged up to cover the upperportion of her torso. For a reason that had never been clearto Smash, it was all right for a mermaid to show herbreasts, but not all right for a human woman to do thesame. The finny part of her flukes became small shoes. Itwas minor but convenient magic; after all, Smash thought,she might otherwise get cold feet. “My sister!” she ex-claimed, her newly covered bosom heaving. “How is shedoing?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, she’s married to the Good Magician Humfrey\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, yes, I had news of thati But how is she recently?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Recently?” Tandy’s brow furrowed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n46<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash caught on to the nature of the Siren’s question.”She wants to know whether the Gorgon is pregnant,” hemurmured.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy was startled. “Oh\u2014I don’t know about that. Idon’t think so. But she does seem happy, and so does theMagician.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren frowned. “I’m so glad she found hers. I wish Ihad found mine.” And Smash now perceived, from thisdose range and the magnification of his interpretive intel-lect, that the Siren was not happy at all. She bad lost hercompelling magic twenty years ago and had very little left<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSuch things had not before been concerns of Smash’s.Ogres hardly cared about the nuances of the lifestyles ofnymphal creatures. Now, thanks to the curse of the EyeQueue, Smash felt the Siren’s problem, and felt the need toalleviate it. “We are going to Lake Ogre-Chobee. Perhaps ifyou went there, you would find yours.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren brightened. “That’s possible.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But we are having trouble finding the way,” he said.”The Madness intercedes.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s a nuisance,” the’ Siren agreed. “But there are waysaround it”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We would like to know of one.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, there’s the catapult. Yet you have to pay the cat’sprice.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What is the cat’s price?” Tandy asked warily. “If it’s akind of demon, we might not like it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It likes catnip\u2014and that’s not easy to get”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Smash could get it,” Tandy said brightly. “He fought atangle tree and a pride of ant-lions.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, he’s an ogre,” the Siren agreed matter-of-factly.”That sort of thing is routine for them.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why don’t you come with us and show us where thecatnip is?” Tandy suggested. “Then we can all go to thecatapult and on to Lake Ogre-Chobee.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren considered. “I admit I don’t seem to be ac-complishing much here. I never thought I’d travel with anogrel” She faced Smash. “Are you tame? I’ve beard somebad things about ogres\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They’re all true!” Smash agreed. “Ogres are the worstbrutes on two legs. But I was raised in the environs ofCastle Roogna, so am relatively civilized.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n48 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“He’s really very nice, when you get to know him,”Tandy said. “He doesn’t crunch the bones of friends.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll risk it,” the Siren decided. “I’ll lead you to the cat-nip.” She adjusted her dress, packed a few fish for nibblingon the way, and set oft, leading them east of the lake.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe catnip grew in a section of the jungle separated by afiercely flowing stream. They had to use a narrow catwalkpast a cataract that was guarded by a catamount. “Don’tfall into the water,” the Siren warned. “It’s a catalyst thatwill give you catarrh, catatonia, and catalepsy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t understand,” Tandy said nervously. “Is thatbad?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A catalyst is a substance that facilitates change,” Smashexplained, drawing on his new Eye Queue intellect. “In thecase of our living flesh, this is likely to mean deteriorationand decay such as catarrh, which is severe mflammationinside the nose, catatonia, which is stupor, and catalepsy,which is loss of motion and speechlessness. We had betterstay out of this water; it is unlikely to be healthy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, unlikely,” Tandy agreed faintly. “But the cata-mount is on the catwalk! It will throw us off.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I wouldn’t be concerned about that,” Smash said.He strode out on the catwalk. It dipped and swayed underhis mass, but he had the sure balance of his primitive kindand proceeded with confidence.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No violence!” Tandy pleaded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe catamount was a large reddish feline with longwhiskers and big paws. It snarled and stalked towardSmash, its tail swishing back and forth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNo violence?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA fright would have been fun, but Smash realized nowthat the girls would worry, so he used his intellect to pon-der on a peaceful option. What about the one he had usedon the moat-monster at the Good Magician’s castle? “Iwant to show you something, kitty,” he said. He leanedforward and held out his right hand. The catamount pauseddistrustfully.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash carefully closed his gauntleted hamflngers into ahuge, gleaming fist. Shafts of sunlight struck down to elicitnew gleams as Smash slowly rotated his fist. It was amaz-ing how each shaft knew exactly where to go!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash nudged this metallic hamfist under the cata-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>49<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmount’s nose. “Now kitty,” he said quietly, “if you do notvacate this path expeditiously, you are apt to have a closerencounter with this extremity. Does this eventuality meetwith your approval?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe feline’s ears twitched as if it suffered indigestion; itseemed to have a problem with the vocabulary. It consid-ered the extremity. The fist sent another barrage of glintsof reflected sunlight out, seeming to grow larger. The ogrestood perfectly balanced and at ease, muscles bulging onlyslightly, fur lying almost unruffled. After a moment, snarl-ing ungraciously, the catamount decided not to dispute thepath this time. It backed away.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWell, well. Smash thought. His bluff had worked\u2014nowthat he had the wit to bluff. Of course, it would have beenfun to hurl the catamount into the water below and seewhat happened to it, but that pleasure was not to be, thistime.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA catbird sailed down out of the sky. It had the body ofa crow and the head of a cat. “Meow!” it scolded the cata-mount, and issued a resounding catcall. Then it wheeled onSmash, claws extended cat-as-catch-can.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre’s mitt moved swiftly. The hamfingers caughtthe catbird, who screeched piteously. Smash brought itdown, pulled out one large tailfeather, and lofted the crea-ture away. The catbird flew awkwardly, its rudder mal-functioning. The fight had been taken out of it, along withmuch of the flight<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA catfish protested from below. It lifted its cat-headfrom the flowing water and yowled. Its voice had a nasalquality; the creature did indeed seem to be suffering fromcatarrh and perhaps catalepsy, though probably it had builtup a certain immunity to the curses of the water. Smashhurled the feather down into its mouth. The catfish chokedand sneezed, disappearing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Smash, Tandy, and the Siren crossed without imped-iment. “Sometimes it’s really handy having an ogrealong,” Tandy remarked. She seemed to have swung fromabsolute distrust to absolute support, and Smash was notdispleased.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe path led through a field of cattails growing in cat-sup where cattle grazed, fattening up in case some cata-clysm came. It terminated at a catacomb. “The catnip<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n50<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngrows in there,” the Siren said, pointing to the teeth of thecomb that barred the entrance. “But it’s dangerous to en-ter, because if the cataclysm comes, the cattle willstampede into it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then I will go alone,” Smash said. He brushed thecomb aside and marched on down. The way soon becamedark, but ogres had good night vision, so he wasn’t much<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbothered.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Don’t invite catastrophe!” the Siren called after him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I certainly hope not,” Smash called back, though intruth he wouldn’t have minded a little of that to makethings interesting. “I will be pusillanimously careful.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDeep inside the cave, he found a garden of pleasantlyscented, mintlike plants with felinely furry leaves. Eachhad a spike of blue flowers. These must be the catnips.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash took hold of one and pulled it up by the roots,being uncertain which part of the plant he needed, andstuffed it into his bag. The flowers nipped at him, butlacked the power even to be annoying. He grabbed andcrammed more plants, until he felt he had enough.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe turned to depart\u2014and spied a dimly glowing objectIt was set in the cave wall beside the exit, framed in stoneset with yellow cat’s-eye gems. It was a furry hump with atail descending from it: evidently the posterior of some sortof feline. A pussy-willow? No, too large for that. Smashrecalled reference to one of the barbarian customs of theMundanes, in which they killed animals and mounted theirheads on walls. That was stupid\u2014perfectly edible headsgoing to waste! Someone must have done the same for this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncat’s rear.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash considered, then decided to take the trophy along.It certainly wasn’t doing any good here in the dark. Per-haps the girls would like to see it. Smash realized that itwas a measure of the degradation foisted on him by theEye Queue that he even thought of showing something in-teresting to others, but he was stuck with it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe reached out to grab the stone frame. The cats-eyesblinked wamingly. The thing was firmly set, so he appliedforce. The frame ripped out of the wall\u2014and the roof col-lapsed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPuzzled, Smash put one fist up over his head. The rockfell on this and cracked apart, piling up on either side.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>51<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash climbed up through the rubble, toting his bag ofplants, but was unable to bring the posterior-trophy. In amoment he reached daylight.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, you’re all right!” Tandy cried. “I was so afraid\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Rockfalls can’t hurt ogres,” Smash said. “I tried to takea trophy, but the roof fell in.” He dusted himself off.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A trophy?” Tandy asked blankly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The rear end of some kind of cat, mounted in the wall.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That was the catastrophe!” the Siren cried. “I told younot to invite it!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCatastrophe\u2014a trophy of the rear of a cat. Now Smashunderstood. He had not properly applied his new intelli-gence, and had done considerable damage to the catnipgarden as a result. He would try to be more careful in thefuture. As long as he was cursed with intellect, he might aswell use it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I had better clear the rocks out of the garden,” Smashsaid. This, too, was an un-ogrish sentiment, but the EyeQueue and the presence of the girls seemed to have thateffect on him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No, don’t bother,” the Siren said. “You wouldn’t knowhow to set it right. The caterpillar will take care of thatafter we leave. It likes to push rocks around.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey crossed the catwalk past the cataract again andproceeded to the catapult. This was a feline creature thesize of a small sphinx, crouched in a clearing. Its tail ex-panded into a kind of netting at the end, large enough for aboulder to rest on. There was a basket nearby, just thatsize.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren approached the catapult. “Will you hurl us toLake Ogre-Chobee, please?” she asked. “We have somecatnip for you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe cat brightened. It nodded its whiskered head. Theylaid the catnip plants down before it, then moved the bas-ket to the expanded tail. The three of them climbed in anddrew the wicker lid over, enclosing themselves.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe cat sniffed the catnip. Its tail stiffened ecstatically.Then it nipped the catnip. As the potent stuff took effect,the tail suddenly sprang up, carrying the basket along. Sud-denly the party of three was flying.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey looked out between the slats. Xanth was cruisingby beneath them, all green and blue and yellow. There<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n52 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwere scattered, low-hanging clouds around them, white be-low, all other colors above, where they couldn’t be seenfrom the ground. Some were rainclouds, shaped like pools,brimming with water. Stray birds were taking baths inthem, and flying fish were taking breathers there, too. Thebasket clipped the edge of oae of these rainclouds and torea hole in it; the water poured out in a horrendous leak.There was an angry uproar from below as the unscheduleddeluge splashed on the forest. But this was the Region ofMadness anyway; no one would be able to prove the differ-ence.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow it occurred to Smash to wonder about their descent.They had risen smoothly enough, but the fall might be lesscomfortable.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen some sort of material popped out of the lid of thebasket. It spread into a huge canopy that caught the airmagically and held back the basket. The descent becameslow, and they landed by the shore of Lake Ogre-Chobee.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey opened the basket and stepped out. “That wasfuni” Tandy exclaimed girlishly. “But how will the cata-pult get its basket back?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAn orange creature hurried up, vaguely catlike. “I’ll takethat,” it said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Who are you?” Tandy asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am the agent of this region. It is my job to see thatthings get where they belong. The catapult has a contractfor the return of its baskets.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh. Then you had better take it. But I don’t know howyou’ll be able to carry that big basket through that thickjungle, or past the Region of Madness.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No problem. I’m half mad already.” The orange agentpicked up the basket and trotted north. The vegetationwilted and died in the creature’s vicinity, making a clearpath.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh\u2014that’s its magic talent,” Tandy said. “Agent Or-ange kills plants.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey turned to Lake Ogre-Chobee. It was a fine blueexpanse of water with a whirlpool in the center. “Don’t gothere,” the Siren cautioned. “The curse-fiends live there.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What is wrong with the curse-fiends?” Smash asked.”My mother was one.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren turned her gaze on him, startled. “Oh\u2014I un-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>53<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nderstood you were an ogre. The\/curse-fiends are of humanderivation. I didn’t mean to\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My mother is an actress. She had to play the part of anogress in an adaptation of Prince Charming, a Mundanetale. Naturally she was the ingenue.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Naturally,” the Siren agreed faintly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But my father Crunch happened onto the set, inno-cently looking for bones to crunch, and spied her and wasinstantly smitten by her horribleness and carried her away.Naturally she married him.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, of course,” the Siren agreed, looking wan. “I amjealous of her fortune. I’m of human derivation myself.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The curse-fiends fired off a great curse that killed ahuge forest,” Smash continued. “But my parents escapedthe curse by becoming vegetarians. Most ogres crunchbones, so this confused the curse and caused it to misfire.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You were raised in a non-bone-crunching home!”Tandy exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m still an ogre,” he said defensively.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m glad it worked out so well,” the Siren said. “But Ithink it would be wise to avoid the curse-fiends. Theymight not appreciate your position.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I suppose so,” Smash admitted. “But they are excellentactors. No one ever confused my mother for a humanbeing.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m sure they didn’t,” the Siren agreed. “I saw one ofthe curse-fiends’ plays once. It was very well done. But itcan be awkward associating with someone who throws acurse when aggravated.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash laughed. “It certainly can be! I acted un-ogrishonce, letting a wyvem back me off from an emerald I hadfound\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My mother set that emerald in place!” Tandy ex-claimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And my mother threw a curse at me,” he continued. “Itscorched the ground at my feet and knocked me on myhead. I never let any monster back me off again!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That was cruel,” Tandy said. “She shouldn’t havecursed you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Cruel? Of course not. It was ogre love, the only kindour kind understands. She cursed my father once, and it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n54<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n55<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas two days before he recovered, and the smile never lefthis face.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, I don’t know,” Tandy said, and she seemed un-usually sober. Did she have some connection to the curse-fiends? Smash filed the notion for future reference.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey walked around a portion of Lake Ogre-Chobee,trying not to attract attention. There were no ogres in evi-dence, and no traces of their presence\u2014no broken-off treesor fragmented boulders or flat-stomped ground.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere seemed to be no threats, either; the entire lakewas girded, as far as they could see, by a pleasant littlebeach, and the water was clear and free of monsters. Evi-dently the curse-fiends had driven away anything danger-ous.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Look at the noses!” Tandy cried, pointing across thewater. Smash looked. There were scores of nostrils swim-ming in pairs toward the shore, making little waves. Asthey drew near, he saw that the nostrils were the visibletips of more extensive snouts, which continued on into longreptilian bodies.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh\u2014the chobees,” the Siren said, relaxing. “They’remostly harmless. Chobees aren’t related to other kinds ofbees; they don’t sting. Once in a while one strays up to mylake.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But what big teeth they have!” Tandy said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They’re imitation, teeth, soft as pillows.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA chobee scrambled out onto the beach. It had short, fat,green legs and a green corrugated skin. The Siren petted iton the head, and the chobee grinned. She touched one ofits teeth, and the tooth bent like rubber, snapping back intoplace when released.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Smash had a nagging doubt. “I remember somethingmy father said about the chobees. Most of them are inno-cent, but some\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, yes, that’s right,” the Siren agreed. “A few, a veryfew, have real teeth. Those kind are dangerous.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Let’s stay away from the bad ones, then,” Tandy said.”What do they look like?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t know,” the Siren admitted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They look just like the nice ones,” Smash said slowly,dredging his memory.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But then any of these could be a bad one,” Tandy said,alarmed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“True,” Smash agreed. “Unless the curse-fiends got ridof them.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How could the curse-fiends tell the difference, if wecan’t?” Tandy asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“If a chobee eats a curse-fiend, it’s probably a bad one,”the Siren said, smiling obscurely.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Do we need to tell the chobees apart the same way?”Tandy asked worriedly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren laughed musically. Her voice was only ashadow of what it must have been when she had her luringmagic, but it remained evocative. “Of course not, dear.Let’s avoid them all.” That seemed easy enough to do, asthe three of them could walk faster than the reptiles could.Soon the chobees gave up the chase and nosed back intothe water, where they buzzed away toward the deeper por-tions of the lake. Tandy watched the wakes their nostrilsleft with relief.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAt one point the lake become irregular, branching outinto a satellite lake that was especially pretty. A partialcauseway crossed the narrow connection between the largeand small lakes. “I’ll wade across!” Smash said, delightingin the chance to indulge in some splashing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t know,” Tandy said. “The nice paths can be dan-gerous.” She had learned from her experience with the tan-gler and the ant-lions; now she distrusted all the easy ways.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I ‘will explore the water,” the Siren said. “I will be ableto tell very quickly whether there are dangerous watercreatures near. Besides, I’m hungry; I need to catch somefish.” She slid into the small lake, her legs converting tothe sleekly scaled tail, her dress fading out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“If you find a monster, send it my way,” Smash called.”I’m hungry, too!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe smiled and dived below-the surface, a bare-breastedmemymph swimming with marvelous facility. In a mo-ment her head popped up, tresses glistening. “No monstershere!” she called. “Not even any chobees. I believe thatcauseway is safe; I find no pitfalls there.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was all Smash needed. “Too bad,” he muttered. Hewaded in, sending a huge splay of water to either side.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n56 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Tandy remained hesitant. “I think I’ll just walkaround it,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Good enough!” Smash agreed, and forged on intodeeper water. The causeway dropped lower, ‘but neverdeeper than chest height on him. He conjectured that itmight have been constructed by the curse-fiends to preventlarge sea monsters from passing; they preferred deep waterand avoided shallows. Maybe the smaller lake had been de-veloped as a resort region. This suggested that there couldbe monsters in Lake Ogre-Chobee; they just happened to beelsewhere at the moment. Maybe they represented an addi-tional protection for the fiends, converting the whole of thelarge lake into a kind of moat. It really didn’t matter, sincehe had no business with the curse-fiends. After all, theyhad not let his mother go willingly to marry his father. Shehad had no further contact with her people after she hadtaken up with Crunch the Ogre, and it occurred to Smashthat this could not have made her feel good. So his attitudetoward the fiends was guarded; he would not try to avoidthem, but neither would he try to seek them out. Neutralitywas the watchword. He had never thought this out be-fore\u2014but he had not suffered the curse of the Eye Queuebefore, either. He still hoped to find some way to be rid ofit, as these frequent efforts of thought were not conduciveto proper ogrish behavior.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe glanced across the water of the little lake. Tandy waspicking her way along the beach, looking very small. Hefelt un-ogrishly protective toward her\u2014but, of course, thiswas his service to the Good Magician. Ogres were grossand violent, but they kept their word. Also, the Eye Queuecurse lent him an additional perception of the virtue of anethical standard. It was a bit like physical strength; theideal was to be strong in all respects, ethical as well asphysical. And Tandy certainly needed protection. Besideswhich, she was a nice girl. He wondered what she waslooking for in life and how it related to his journey to seekthe Ancestral Ogres. Had old Magician Humfrey finallylost his magic, and had to foist Tandy off on an ogre mlieu of a genuine Answer? Smash hoped not, but he had toentertain the possibility. Suppose there was in fact no An-swer for Tandy\u2014or for himself?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash had no ready answer for that, even with his un-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>57<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwanted new intelligence, so had to let the thought lapse.But it was disquieting. High intelligence, it seemed, posedas many questions as it answered; being smart was not nec-essarily any solution to life’s problems. It was much easierto be strong and stupid, bashing things out of the way with-out concern for the consequences. Disquiet was no properfeeling for an ogre.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow he got down in the water and splashed with alllimbs. This was proper ogre fun! The spray went up in agreat cloud, surrounding the sun and causing its light tofragment into a magic halo. The whole effect was so lovelythat he continued splashing violently until pleasantlywinded. When he stopped, he discovered that the waterlevel of the small lake had dropped substantially, and thesun was hastening across the sky to get out of the way,severely dimmed by all the water that had splashed on it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut his thorough washing did not clear the Eye Queuefrom the fur of his head. Somehow the Queue had sunkinto his brain, and the braided Eyes were providing himnew visions of many kinds. It would be hard indeed to getthose Eyes out again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAt last he waded out at the far side. The Siren swam up,converted her tail to legs, and joined him on the warmbeach. “You made quite a splash. Smash,” she said. “Had Inot known better, I would have supposed a thunderstormwas forming.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That good!” he agreed, well satisfied. Of course itwasn’t all good; he was now unconscionably clean. But afew good rolls in the dirt would take care of that.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That bad,” the Siren said with a smile.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe studied her as she gleamed wetly, her scale-suitcreeping up to cover the fullness of her front. She seemed,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>to be turning younger, though this might be inconsequentiali ^\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>illusion. “I think the^swim was good for you, too, Siren.You look splendid.” Privately, he was amazed at his words;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe did look splendid, and her affinity to the voluptuous Gor-gon was increasingly evident, but no ordinary ogre wouldhave noticed, let alone complimented her in the fashion ofa human being. The curse of the Queue was still spreading!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I do feel better,” she agreed. “But it’s not just the swim.It’s the companionship. I have lived alone for too long; now<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n58 Ogre, Ogre Ogre, Ogre 59<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat I have company, however temporarily, my youth andhealth are returning.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo that explained it! People of human stock had needfor the association of other people. This was one of theways in which ogres differed from human beings. Ogresneeded nobody, not even other ogres. Except to marry.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe looked again at the Siren. Her nymphlike beautywould have dazzled a man and led him to thoughts ofmoonlight and gallivanting. Smash, however, was an ogre;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfull breasts and smoothly fleshed limbs appealed to himonly aesthetically\u2014-and even that was a mere product ofthe Eye Queue. An uncursed ogre would simply have be-come hungry at the sight of such flesh.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhich reminded him\u2014he needed something to eat. Hechecked around for edibles and spied some ripe bananapeppers. He stuffed handfuls of them into his mouth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSomething nagged him as he chewed. Flesh\u2014female\u2014hunger\u2014ah, now he had it. A girl in danger of being eaten.”Where’s Tandy?” he asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I haven’t seen her, Smash,” the Siren said, her fairbrow furrowing. “She should be here by now, shouldn’tshe? We had better go look for her, in case\u2014well, let’s justsee. I’ll swim; you check the beach.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Agreed.” Smash crammed another double fistful ofpeppers into his face and started around the beach, con-cerned. He blamed himself now for his selfish carelessness.He knew that Tandy was unfamiliar with the surface ofXanth, liable to fall into the simplest trap. If somethinghad happened to her\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I find nothing here,” the Siren called from the water.”Maybe she went off the beach for a matter of hygiene.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGood notion. Smash checked the tangled vines beyondthe beach\u2014and there, in due course, he found Tandy. “Hi-hol” he called to her, waving a hamhand.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy did not respond. She was kneeling on the turf,looking at something. “Are you all right?” Smash asked,worry building up like a sudden storm. But the girl neithermoved nor answered.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren came out of the water, dripping and changingin the effective way she had, and joined Smash. “Oh\u2014she’s fallen prey to a hypnogourd.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA hypnogourd. Smash remembered encountering thatfruit before. Anyone who peeked in the peephole of such agourd remained mesmerized until some third party brokethe connection. Naturally Tandy had not been aware ofthis. So she had peeked, being girlishly curious\u2014and re-mained frozen there.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGently, the Siren removed the gourd, breaking the con-nection. Tandy blinked and shook her head. But her eyesdid not quite focus. Her features coalesced into an expres-sion of vacant, continuing horror.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Hey, come out of it, dear,” the Siren said. “The badvision is over. It ended when you lost contact with thegourd. Everything’s all right.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYet the girl seemed numb. The Siren shook her, but stillTandy did not respond.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe it’s like the Eye Queue,” Smash said. “It stays inthe mind until removed.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The gourds aren’t usually that way,” the Siren said,perplexed. “Of course, I have not had much personal expe-rience with them, since I have lived alone; there’s no one tobreak the trance for me, so I have stayed clear. But I met aman once, a Mundane, back when I was able to lure menwith my music. He said the gourds were like computergames\u2014that seems to be something he knew about in Mun-dania, one of their forms of magic\u2014only more compelling.He said some people got hooked worse than others.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Tandy was raised in the caves. She has no experiencewith most of Xanth. She must be susceptible. Whatever shesaw in there maintains its grip on her mind.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That must be it. Usually people have no memory ofwhat they see inside, but maybe that varies also. That sameMundane spoke of acidheads, which I think are creatureswhose heads\u2014well, I can’t quite visualize that. But itseems they suffered flashbacks of their mad dreams aftertheir heads were back in normal shape. Maybe Tandy is\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll go into that gourd and destroy whatever is botheringher,” Smash said. “Then she’ll be free.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Smash, you may not have your body in there! I havenever looked into a gourd, but I don’t think the same rulesapply as those we know. You could get caught there, too. Itcould be catastrophe.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n60 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I will be more careful to avoid that trophy, this time,”Smash said with an ogrish grimace. He applied his eye tothe peephole.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was in a world of black and white. He stood before ablack wooden door set in a white house. There was nosound at all, and the air was chill. Faintly ominous vibra-tions wafted in from the near distance. There was the dif-fuse odor of spoiling carrion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash licked bis lips. Carrion always made him hungry.But he did not trust this situation. Tandy was not here, ofcourse, and he saw nothing that could account for her con-dition. Nothing to frighten or horrify a person. He decidedto leave.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHowever, he perceived no way out. He had arrived full-formed within this scene; there was no obvious exit. Hewas locked into this vision\u2014unless he had entered throughthis door and turned about to face it without realizing, andcould depart through it. Doors generally did lead from oneplace to another.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe took hold of the black metal doorknob. The thingzapped him with a small bolt of lightning. He tried to letgo, but his hand was locked on. He wore no gauntlets; evi-dently he had left them behind. The electric pain pulsedthrough his fingers, locking the muscles clenched with itsspecial magic. There was a wash of pain, literally; his blackhand was now glowing with red color, in stark contrastwith the monochrome of the rest of the scene.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash yanked hard on the knob. The entire door rippedoff its hinges. The pain stopped, the red color faded, hisfingers relaxed at last, and he hurled the door away behindhim.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBefore him was a long, blank hall penetrating the som-ber house. From the depths of it came a horrendous groan.This did not seem to be the way out; he was sure he hadnot walked any great distance inside the gourd. But it didseem pleasant enough, and was the only way that offered.Smash stepped inside.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA chill draft rustled the fur on his legs. The odor ofputrefaction intensified. The floor shuddered as it took hisweight. There was another groan.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash strode forward, impatient to get out of this inter-estingly drear but pointless place, worried about Tandy. He<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>61<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nneeded to consult with the Siren, to work out some strategyby which he might find whatever had scared Tandy anddeal with it. Otherwise he would have felt free to enjoy thefurther entertainments of this house. Had he realized whatkind of scene was inside the gourd, he would have enteredit years ago.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSomething flickered before him. Smash squinted, andsaw it was a ghost. “You trapped, too?” he asked sympa-thetically, and walked through it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ghost made an angry moan and flickered to hisfrontside again. “Boooooo!” it booooooed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash paused. Was this creature trying to tell bun some-thing? He had known very few ghosts, as they did not ordi-narily associate with vgres. There were several at CastleRoogna, attending to routine hauntings. “Do I know you?”he asked. “Do we have any mutual acquaintances?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yoowwelll” the ghost yowded, its hollow eyes flashingdarkness,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’d help you if I could, but I’m lost myself,” Smash saidapologetically, and brushed on through it again. The ghost,disgusted for some obscure reason, faded away.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe passage narrowed. This was no illusion; the wallswere closing on either side, squeezing together. Smashdidn’t like to be crowded, so he put one hamhand on eachwall and pushed outward, exerting ogre force. Somethingsnapped; then the walls slid apart and lay tilted at slightlyodd angles. It would probably be a long time before theytried to push another ogre around!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAt the end of the hall was a rickety staircase leading up.Smash pressed one hairy bare foot on the lowest step andshoved down, testing it. The step bowed and squeaked pit-eously, but supported his weight. Smash took anotherstep\u2014and suddenly the entire stairway began to move,carrying him upward. Magic stairs! What would this enjoy-able place think of next?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe stairs accelerated. Faster and faster they went, mak-ing the dank air breeze past Smash’s face. At the top of theflight they ended abruptly, and he went sailing out intoblank space.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgres liked lots of violent things, hut were not phenome-nally partial to falling. However, they weren’t unduly con-cerned about it, either. Smash stiffened his legs. In a mo-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n62 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nment he landed on hard concrete. Naturally it fracturedunder the impact of his feet. He stepped out of the nibbleand looked about.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe seemed to be in some sort of deep well, or oubliette.The circular wall narrowed above, making climbing outdifficult. Then a shape appeared in silhouette, holding abig stone over its head. The figure had horns and lookedlike a demon. Smash was not especially partial to demons,but he greeted this one courteously enough. “Up yours,devil!” he called.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe demon dropped the stone down the well. Smash sawthe dark shape looming, but had no room to step out of theway.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen light flared. Smash blinked. It was broad daylightin the forest of Xanth. “Are you all right?” the Siren asked.”I didn’t dare let you stay out too long.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am all right,” Smash said. “How is Tandy?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Unchanged, I’m afraid. Smash, I don’t think you candestroy what is bothering her, because the horror is now inher mind. We could smash the gourd and it still wouldn’thelp her.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash considered. His skull no longer heated up whenhe did that. “I believe you are correct. I saw nothing reallyalarming in there. Perhaps I should go into the gourd withher and show her that it’s not so bad.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren frowned. “I suspect ogres have different defi-nitions of bad. Just what happened in there?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Only a haunted house. Shocking doorknob. Ghost.Squeezing walls\u2014I suppose those could have been awk-ward for a human person. Moving stairs. A demon drop-ping a rock down a well.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why would a demon do that?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t know. I happened to be below at the time.Maybe it didn’t like my greeting.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy stirred. Her eyes swung loosely about. Her lipspursed flaccidly. She looked disturbingly like a ghost. “No,no house, no demon. A graveyard . . .” She lapsed intostaring, her mouth beginning to drool.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Evidently you had separate visions,” the Siren said, us-ing a puff from a puffball growing nearby to clean up thegirl’s face. “That complicates it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>63<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe if we go in together, we’ll share a vision,”Smash conjectured.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But there is only one peephole.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash poked his littlest hamfinger into the rind of thegourd. “Two, now.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You ogres are so practical!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey set the gourd before Tandy, who immediatelypeered into the first peephole. Then Smash squatted so thathe could peer into the second.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was back in the well. The rock was plunging at hishead. Hastily he raised a fist, since he didn’t want a head-ache. The rock shattered on the fist, falling around him inthe form of fragments, pebbles, and gravel. So much forthat. If the demon would just drop a few more stonesdown. Smash would soon have this well filled up with rub-ble and could step out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut the demon did not reappear. Too bad. Smash lookedaround the gloom. Tandy was not with him. He was in thesame vision he had left, picking it up in the same momenthe had left it He was using a different peephole, but thatdidn’t seem to matter. Probably Tandy was back in heroriginal vision, at the same point it had been interrupted,getting scared by whatever had scared her before. Itseemed the gourd programmed each vision separately.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHowever, it was all the same gourd. Tandy had to besomewhere in here, and he intended to find her, rescue herfrom her horror, and smash that horror into a quiveringpulp so it wouldn’t bother her again. All he had to do wasmake a sufficient search.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe took hold of a stone in the wall of the well andyanked it out. Three more stones fell out with it. Smashtook another; this time five more fell. This old well was notwell constructed! He stood on these and drew out morestones. The well filled in beneath him steadily, and beforelong he was back at the surface. There was no sign what-soever of the demon who had dropped the first rock onhim. That was just as well, for Smash might have treatedthat demon a trifle unkindly, perhaps snapping its tail likea rubber band and launching the creature on a flight to themoon. The least that demon could have done was to stayaround long enough to drop a few more useful bouldersdown the well.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n64 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow he stood in a chamber surrounded by doors. Heheard a faint, despairing scream. Tandy!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe went to the nearest door and grasped the knob. Itshocked him, so he ripped the door out of its socket andthrew it away. The room inside was a bare chamber: afalse lead. He tried the next door, got shocked again, andripped it out, too. Another bare chamber. He went to thethird door\u2014and it didn’t shock him. The doors were leam-ingi He opened this one gently. But it led only to anotherdecoy chamber.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFinally he opened one that showed an outdoor walk. Hehurried down this, hurdling a square that he recognized asa covered pitfall\u2014ogres naturally knew about such things,having had centuries of ancestral experience avoiding suchtraps set for them by foolish men\u2014and emerged into awindy graveyard.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBattered gravestones were all around, marking sunkengraves. Some stones tilted forward precariously, as if tryingto peer into the cavities they demarked. It occurred toSmash that the buried bodies might have climbed out andgone elsewhere, accounting for the sunkenness of thegraves and the suspicions of the headstones, but this wasnot his concern.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe odor of carrion was stronger out here. Maybe someof the corpses had not been buried deep enough. A windcame up, cutting around the stone edges with dismal howl-ing. Smash breathed deeply, appreciating it, then concen-trated on the business at hand. Tandy!” he called. “Whereare you?” For she had said she was in a graveyard, and thismust be the place.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe heard a faint sobbing. Carefully he traced down thesource. It was slow work, because the sound was carried bythe wind, and the wind curved around the gravestones incold blue streams, searching out the best edges for makingmoaning tunes. But at last he found the huddled figure,cowering behind a white stone crypt.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Tandy!” he repeated. “It’s I. Smash, the tame ogre. Letme take you away from all this.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe looked up, pale with fright, as if hardly daring torecognize him. Her mouth opened, but only drool cameout.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe reached out to take her arm, to help her to her feet.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>65<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut she was as limp as a rag doll and would not rise. Shejust continued sobbing. She seemed little different from herXanth self. Something was missing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash considered. For once he was thankful for the EyeQueue, because now he could ponder without pain. Whatwould account for the girl’s lethargy and misery? He hadthought it was fear, but now that he was here, she shouldhave no further cause for that. It was as if she had lostsomething vital, like eyesight or\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOr her soul. Suddenly Smash remembered how vulnera-ble souls could be, and knew that if anyone were likely toblunder into a soul-hazardous situation, Tandy was the one.She knew so little of the ways of Xanth! No wonder shewas desolate and empty.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Your soul, Tandy,” he said, holding her so that she hadto look into his face. “Where is it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nListlessly she nodded toward the crypt. Smash saw thatit had a heavy, tight stone door. Scrape marks on the dankground indicated it had recently been opened. She musthave gone inside, perhaps trying to escape the graveyard\u2014and had been ejected without her soul.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I will recover it,” he said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow she bestirred herself enough to react. “No, no,” shemoaned. “I am lost. Save yourself.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I agreed to protect you,” he reminded her. “I shall doit.” He set her gently aside and addressed the crypt. Thedoor had no handle, but he knew how to deal with that. Heelevated his huge bare fist and smashed it brutally forwardinto the stone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOuch! Without his gauntlets, his hands were moretender. He could not safely apply his full force. But hisblow had accomplished its purpose; the stone door hadcracked marginally and jogged a smidgen outward. He ap-plied his homy fingernails and hauled the door unwillinglyopen.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA dark hole faced him. As his eyes adjusted, he saw awhite outline. It was the skeleton of a man. It reached forhim with bone-fingers.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash realized where the bodies in the sunken graveshad gone. They had been recruited for guard duty andwere walking about this crypt. But he was not in the moodfor nuisance. He grabbed the skeleton by the bones of its<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\narm and hauled it violently out of the crypt. The thingflew through the air and landed as a jumble of bones. Theogre proceeded on into the hole.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOther skeletons appeared, clustering about him, then-connections rattling. Smash treated them as he had thefirst, disconnecting their foot-bones from their leg-bonesand other bones, causing the bonepile to grow rapidly. Soonthe remaining skeletons reconsidered, not wishing to havehim roll their bones, and left him alone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u2022 Deep in the ground the ogre came to a dark coffin. Thesmell was mouth-wateringly awful; something really rottenwas in there. Was Tandy’s soul in there, too? He picked upthe box and shook it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“All right, all right\\” a muffled voice came from thecoffin. “You made your point, ogre. You aren’t afraid ofanything. What do you want?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Give back Tandy’s soul,” Smash said grimly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I can’t do that, ogre,” the box protested. “We made adeal. Her freedom for her soul. I let her out of this world; Ikeep her soul. That’s the way we deal here; souls are thecurrency of this medium.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The Siren let her out by removing the gourd,” Smashargued. “She never had to pay.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Coincidence. I permitted it, once the deal was struck.The negotiation is sealed.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash had lived and thought like an ogre a lot longerthan he had lived and thought intelligently. Now he re-verted to convenient old habits. He roared, picked up thecoffin, and hurled it against the wall. The box fell to thefloor, somewhat sprung, and several ceiling stones ‘droppedon it. Nauseating goo dribbled from a crack in it. Dirtsifted down from the chamber wall to smooth the outlines.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe further negotiation is possible after all,” thevoice from the coffin said, somewhat shaken. “Would youconsider trading souls?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash readied his hamfist again. “Wait!” the voicecried, alarmed. It evidently wasn’t used to dealing with realbrutes. “I merely collect souls; I don’t have the authority togive them back. If you want the girl’s soul now, your onlyoption is to trade.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre considered. He might smash the coffin and itsoccupant to pieces, but that would not necessarily recover<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe soul. If Tandy’s soul were in there, it could get hurt inthe battering. So maybe it was better to bargain. “Tradewhat?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Another soul, of course. How about yours?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis box thought he was a typically stupid ogre. “No.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, someone else’s. What about that buxom maturenymph out in Xanth, with the sometime fish-tail? Sheprobably has a luscious, bouncy, juicy soul.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash considered again. He decided, with an un-ogrishprecision of ethics, that he could not make any commit-ments on behalf of the Siren. “Not her soul. And notmine.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then the girl’s soul must remain.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash got another whiff of the stench from the coffinand knew that Tandy’s soul could not be allowed to rotthere. He still did not consider the deal by which the coffinhad gotten Tandy’s soul to be valid. He stooped to pick upthe battered coffin again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Wait!” the voice cried. “There is one other option. Youcould accede to a lien.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre paused. “Explain.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A lien is a claim on the property of another as securityfor a debt,” the coffin explained. “A lien on your soulwould mean that you agree to replace the girl’s soul withanother soul\u2014and if you don’t, then your own soul is for-feit. But you keep your soul in the interim, or most of it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt did seem to make sense. “How long an interim?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Shall we say thirty days?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Six months,” Smash said. “You think I’m stupid?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I did think that,” the coffin confessed. “After all, youare an ogre, and it is well known that the brains of ogresare mostly in their muscles. In fact, their brains are mostlymuscles.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not true,” Smash said. “An ogre’s skull is filled withbone, not muscle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I stand corrected. My skull is filled with necrosis. Howabout sixty days?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Four months.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Split the difference: ninety days.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Okay,” Smash agreed. “But I don’t agree you are enti-tled to keep any soul, just because you tricked an innocentgirl into trading it off for nothing.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Are you sure you’re an ogre? You don’t sound likeone.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m an ogre,” Smash affirmed. “Would you like me tothrow you around some more to prove it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That won’t be necessary,” the coffin said quickly. “Ifyou disagree with the assessment, you must deal with theboss: the Night Stallion. He makes decisions of policy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The Dark Horse?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Close enough; some do call him that. He governs theherd of nightmares.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt began to fall into place. “This is where the nightmareslive? By day, when they’re not out delivering bad dreamsto sleepers?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Exactly. All the bad dreams are generated here in thegourd, from the raw material of people’s fundamentalfears\u2014loss, pain, death, shame, and the unknown. TheStallion decides where the dreams go, and the mares takethem there. Your girlfriend abused a mare, so it took a lienon her soul, and when she came here, that lien was calleddue. So her soul is forfeit, and now we have it, and onlythe Night Stallion can change that. Why don’t we set youup for an appointment with the Stallion, and you can settlethis directly with him?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“An appointment? When?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, he has a full calendar. Bad dreams aren’t lightfancies, you know. There’s a lot of evil in the world thatneeds recognition. It’s a lot of work to craft each dreamcorrectly and designate it for exactly the right person at theright time. So the Stallion is quite busy. The first openingis six months hence.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But my lien expires in three months!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re smarter than the average ogre, for sure! Youmight force an earlier audience, but you’d have to find theStallion first. He certainly won’t come to you within threemonths. I really wouldn’t recommend the effort of locatinghim.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash considered again. It seemed to him that this cof-fin protested too profusely. Something was being concealedhere. Time for the ogre act again. “Perhaps so,” he said.”There is therefore no point in restraining my natural incli-nation for violence.” He picked up a rock and crumpled itto chips and sand with one hand. He eyed the coffin.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I’m sure you can find him!” the box said quickly.”All you have to do is seek the path of most resistance.That’s all I can tell you, honest!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash decided that he had gotten as much as he couldfrom the coffin. “Good enough. Give me the girl’s soul,and I’ll leave my three-month lien and meet the Stallionwhen I find him.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Do you think a soul is something you can just carry inyour hand?” the coffin demanded derisively.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes,” Smash said. He contemplated his hand, slowlyclosing it into a brutishly ugly fist that hovered menacinglyover the coffin.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Quite,” the coffin agreed nervously, sweating anotherblob of stinking goo. The soul floated up, a luminescentglobe that passed right through the wood. Smash cupped itcarefully in his hand and tromped from the gloomy cham-ber. Neither coffin nor skeletons opposed him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy sat where she had been, the picture of hopelessgirlish misery. “Here is your soul,” Smash said, and heldout the glowing globe.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nUnbelievingly, she reached for it. The globe expanded ather touch, becoming a ghost-shape that quickly overlappedher body and merged. For an instant her entire bodyglowed, right through the tattered red dress; then she washer normal self. “Oh, Smash, you did it!” she exclaimed. “Ilove you! You recovered my soul from that awful corpse!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I promised to protect you,” he said gruffly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How can I reward you?” She was actually pinching her-self, amazed by her restoration. Smash, too, was amazed;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe had not before appreciated how much difference a per-son’s soul made.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n^ “No reward,” he insisted. “It’s part of my job, my ser-vice for my Answer.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe considered. “Yes, I suppose. But how ever did youdo it? I thought there was no way\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I had to indulge my natural propensities slightly,” headmitted, glancing at the pile of bones he had made. Thebones shuddered and settled lower, eager to avoid his atten-tion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh. I guess you were more terrible than the skeletonswere,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Naturally. That. is the nature of ogres. We’re worse<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n70 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthan anything.” Smash thought it best not to inform her ofthe actual nature of his deal. “Let’s get out of here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, yes! But how?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was another problem. He could bash through walls,but the force holding Tandy and himself inside the gourdwas intangible. “I think we’ll have to wait for the Siren tofree us. All she has to do is move the gourd so we can’tlook into it any more, but she doesn’t know when we’ll befinished in here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I don’t want to stay another minute in this horribleplace! If I had known what would happen when I peekedinto that funny little hole\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s not a bad place, this,” Smash said, trying to cheerher. “It can even be fun.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Fun? In this awful graveyard?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Like this.” Smash had spied a skeleton poking around agrave, perhaps looking for a new convert. He sneaked upbehind it. Ogres didn’t have to shake the earth when theywalked; they did it because they enjoyed it. “B0001” hebellowed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe skeleton leaped right out of its foot-bones and stum-bled away, terrified. Tandy had to smile. “You’re prettyscary, all right, Smash,” she agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey settled down against a large gravestone. Tandyhuddled within the protection of the ogre’s huge, hairyarm. It was the only place the poor little girl felt safe inthis region.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 5. Prints of Wails<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI he Siren greeted them anxiously as they woketo the outer afternoon of Xanth. “I gave you an hourthis time, Smash; I just didn’t dare wait longer,” she said.”Are you all right?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I have my soul back!” Tandy said brightly. “Smash gotit for me!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren had been looking her age, for her human stockcaused her to be less than immortal. Now relief was visiblyrestoring her youthfulness. “That’s wonderful, dear,” shesaid, hugging her. Then, looking at Smash, the Siren sob-ered again. “But usually souls can’t be recovered withouthell to pay\u2014ah, that is, some sort of quid pro quo. Are yousure\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ve got mine,” Smash said jovially. “Such as it is. Ogresdo have souls, don’t they?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“As far as I know, only people of human derivation havesouls,” the Siren said. “But all of those do, even if theirhuman ancestor was many generations ago, and so wethree qualify. I’m sure yours is as good as any, Smash, andperhaps better than some.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It must be stronger and stupider, anyway,” he said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m so glad it’s all right,” the Siren said, seeming notentirely convinced. She evidently suspected something, butchose not to make an issue of it at this time. Older femalestended to be less innocent than young ones, he realized, butalso more discreet.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey considered their situation. There seemed to be noogres and no merfolk at Lake Ogre-Chobee, despite itsname.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n71<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n72 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now I remember,” Smash said. “The curse-fiendsdrove the ogres away. They migrated north to the Ogre-fen-Ogre Fen. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that be-fore!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Because you weren’t cursed by the Eye Queue before,silly,” Tandy said. “You weren’t very smart. But that’s allright; we’ll just go up to the Ogre Fen and find your tribe.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But that’s the entire length of Xanth!” the Siren pro-tested. “Who knows what horrors lie along the way?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, fun,” Smash said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Funny, the Good Magician didn’t remind you about theogres’ change of residence,” the Siren said. “Well, there’scertainly not much doing here. I would like to travel withyou a little longer, if I may, at least until I find a lakeinhabited by merfolk.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Sure, come along, we like your company,” Tandy saidimmediately, and Smash shrugged. It really made little dif-ference to him. He was partially preoccupied by his prob-lem with the lien on his soul. He would soon have to find apretext to go back into the gourd to search for the NightStallion and fight for his soul.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But first, let’s abolish this menace once and for all,”the Siren said. She picked up the hypnogourd and lifted ithigh overhead, throwing it violently to the ground.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No!” Smash cried. But before he could move, the gourdhad smashed to earth. It fragmented into pinkish pulp,black seeds, and translucent juice. There was no sign of theworld he and Tandy had toured within it; the magic wasgone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre stood staring at the ruin. Now, how could hereturn to that world to settle his account? Somehow heknew his lien had not been abated by the destruction of thegourd; his avenue to that world had merely been closed. Itwould take time to manifest, but he knew he was in verybad trouble.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Is something wrong?” the Siren asked. “Did you leavesomething in there?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It doesn’t matter,” Smash said brusquely. After all, shehad meant well, and there was nothing to be done now. Nopoint in upsetting the girls, no matter how privately satisfy-ing it might have been to rant and rave and stomp, ogre-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>73<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstyle, until the whole forest and lake trembled and roiledwith reaction to the violence.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey trekked north through the variegated jungle andtundra and intemperate zones of Xanth. Most of the localflora and fauna left the party alone, wisely not wishing toantagonize an ogre. Upon occasion, some gnarled old bull-spruce would paw the earth with a branch-hoof and poke alimb-hom into the way, but a short, sharp blow withSmash’s gauntleted fist taught such trees manners. Progresswas good.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey were just considering where to spend the night, when they heard something. There was a thin, barely audi-ble screaming, and a cacophony of ugly pantings, breath-ings, and raspings. “Something unpleasant is going on,” theSiren said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll investigate,” Smash said, glad for the chance for alittle relaxing violence. He tromped toward the commotion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA crowd of multilegged things was chasing a little fairylass, who seemed to have hurt one of her gossamer wings.She was running this way and that, but wherever she went,creatures like squished caterpillars with tentacles moved toblock the way, dribbling hungry drool. The fairy wasscreaming with fright and horror, and the pursuers werereveling in her discomfort, playing cruelly with her beforeclosing for the kill.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s this?” Smash demanded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOne of the creatures turned toward him, though it washard to tell which side was its front. “Stay out of what doesnot concern you, trashface,” it said insolently.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow, Smash normally did not involve himself in whatdid not concern him, but his recent experience with Tandyin the gourd had sensitized him to the plight of small,pretty females in distress. Also, he did not like being told tostay out, despite the compliment to his face. Therefore hereacted with polite force. “Get out of here, you ghastly par-ody.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oho! the ghastly cried. “So the dumb brute needs a les-son, too!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nImmediately the creatures oriented on Smash. From adistance they were repulsive; from up close, they wereworse. They launched purple spittle at him, belched ob-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n74 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nscenely all over their bodies, and scratched at him withdirty claws. But several still chased the hapless fairy lass.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash became moderately perturbed. Now it seemed thereputation of ogres was on the line. He picked up a ghastly.It defecated on his paw. He heaved it into the forest. Itscurried back. He pounded another into the ground\u2014but itmerely squished flat, then rebounded. He tore one apart,but it just stretched impossibly, and snapped back to itsnormal shapelessness when he let go, leaving a slug ofsmelly slime on his fingers.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow the fairy screamed louder. The ghastlies had almostcaught her. Smash had to act quickly or he would be toolate to help her. But what would stop these creatures?- Fortunately, his new intelligence assisted. If throwing,pounding, and stretching didn’t work, maybe tying would.He grabbed two ghastlies and squeezed and squished themtogether, tying a knot in their infinitely stretchable limbs.Then he tied in a third, and a fourth, and a fifth. Soon hehad a huge ball of tied ghastlies, since they kept comingstupidly at him. Their rebounding and stretching didn’t dothem much good; it merely tightened the knots. In duecourse, all the ghastlies were balled together, spitting, hiss-ing, scratching, and pooping on each other constantly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash dropped the ball, wiped himself off on sometowel-leaves, and checked on the fairy. She was as fright-ened of him as she had been of the ghastlies. He did notchase her; he had only wanted to make sure she was nottoo badly hurt.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhen the fairy saw him stop, she stopped. She was a tinything, hardly half the height of Tandy, a nude girl formwith sparldingly mussed hair and thin, iridescent wingswith scenic patterns. “You aren’t chasing me, ogre?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No. Go your way in peace, fairy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But why did you tie all the ghastlies in a knot, if youdidn’t want to gobble me up?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“To help you escape.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe had difficulty assimilating this. “I thought you werean ogre, but you neither sound nor act like one.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We all have our off days,” Smash said apologetically.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTandy and the Siren arrived. “He’s a gentle ogre,” theSiren explained. “He helps the helpless.” She introducedthe three of them.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n75<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m John,” the fairy said. Then, before they could react,she continued. “I know, I know it’s not a proper name forthe like of me, but my father was away when I was born,and the message got garbled, and I was stuck with it. Sonow I’m on a quest for my proper name. But I got tossedby a gust and hurt my wing, and then the ghastlies\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why don’t you travel with us?” Tandy asked. “Untilyour wing gets better. Monsters don’t bother us much. Wehave one of our own.” She gripped Smash’s dangling ham-hand possessively.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nJohn considered, evidently uncertain about travelingwith a monster. Then the ball of ghastlies began workingloose, and she decided. “Yes, I will go with you. It shouldtake only a day or so for my wing to mend.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash did not comment. He had not asked for any com-panions, but Tandy had been forced on him, and she had apropensity for inviting others. Perhaps it was becauseXanth was so new to her that she felt the company of oth-ers who were more familiar with it would improve things.Maybe she was right; the Siren had certainly helped themget out of the gourd.. It didn’t really matter; Smash couldtravel with three as well as with one.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow night came. Smash foraged for food and found apatch of spaghetti just ripening near a spice tree. He har-vested several great handfuls, shook the spice on them, andproffered this for their repast. The girls seemed a trifledoubtful at first, but all were hungry, and soon they wereconsuming the delicious, slippery stuff, ogre-style, by thehandful and slurpful. Then they found a basket palm withenough stout hanging baskets for all, and spent a reasona-bly comfortable night.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut before they slept, the Siren questioned John aboutthe kind of name she was looking for. “Why don’t you justtake any name you like and use it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I couldn’t,” John said. “I can answer only to thename I was given. Since I was given the wrong one, I mustkeep it until I recover the right one.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How can you be sure there is a right one? If your fatherwas misinformed\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, no, he knew who I was. He sent back a good name,but somehow it got lost, and the wrong name arrived in-stead. By the time he got home, it was too late to fix it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash understood the Siren’s perplexity. He, like her,had not been aware that names were so intricately tagged.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Does that mean that someone else got your name?” theSiren asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Of course. Some male fairy got my name, and must beas unhappy with it as I am with his. But if I find him, wecan exchange them. Then everything will be just fine.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I see,” the Siren said. “I hope you find him soon.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn the morning they breakfasted on honeydew that hadformed on the leaves of the basket tree, then resumed thetrek north. John buzzed her healing wing every so often,and the pattern on it seemed to come alive in a three-dimensional image, like flowers blooming, but she. couldnot yet fly. She had to be content to walk. She was acheery little thing, good company, and full of cute anec-dotes about life among the fairies. It seemed the FairyKingdom was a large one, with many principalities and in-terstate commerce between groups, and internecine tradewars.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey started to climb. None of them was familiar withthis section of Xanth, which was east of the Region ofMadness, so they merely proceeded directly north. Withluck, it wouldn’t be too bad.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut it was bad. The mountain became so steep it wasimpossible to climb normally. They could not go around it,because the sides of the channel they traveled had riseneven more steeply. They had either to proceed forward orto retreat all the way to the base and try another approach.None was willing to retreat.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash used his gauntleted fists to break out sections ofrock, making crude steps for the others. Fortunately, thereally steep part was not extensive, and by noon they stoodat the top.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was a lake, hardly on the scale of Ogre-Chobee butimpressive enough, brimful with sparkling water. “Thismust be an old volcano,” John said. “I have flown oversimilar ones, though not this big. We must beware; waterdragons like such lakes, especially if they are hot on thebottom.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash grimaced. He didn’t like water dragons, becausethey tended to be too much for an honest ogre to handle.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut he saw no sign of such a creature here. No droppings,no piles of bones, no discarded old scales or teeth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What are those?” Tandy inquired, pointing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere were marks on the surface of the water. Theywere roughly circular indentations, with smaller indenta-tions on one side of each large one. “They look like prints,”the Siren said. “As if some creature walked on the water.Is that possible?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash put one foot on the water. It sank through. Theripples moved across the prints, erasing them. “Not possi-ble,” he decided.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill, they decided to stay clear of the water until theyknew more about it. Seemingly minor mysteries could behazardous to their health in Xanth. They walked aroundthe west side of the lake, following one of those suspi-ciously convenient paths because there was no other routebetween the deep water and the climike outer face of themountain.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut as they bore north, following the curve of the cone,they encountered an outcropping of spongy rock.”Magma,” Smash conjectured, forcing another subterra-nean memory to the surface, slightly heated.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t care who it is, it’s in our way,” Tandy com-plained. Indeed, the rock blotted out the path, forcing themto attempt a hazardous scramble.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I shall remove it,” Smash decided. He readied hishamfist and pounded one good pound on the magma.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe rock responded with a deafening reverberation.They all clapped their hands over their ears while themountain shook and the lake made waves.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFinally the awful noise died away. “That magma comesloud!” the Siren said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Magma cum laude,” the ogre agreed, not hearing wellyet.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It sure is some sound,” Tandy said, looking dizzy. Thefairy agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey decided they didn’t like the sound of it, and wouldtry the other side of the lake, where the way might be quieter.As they walked the path back, an awful moan slid acrossthe water. “What is that?” Tandy demanded anxiously.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The wailing of whatever made the prints,” the Sirenconjectured.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n78<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh. So these are the prints of wails.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Close enough.” The Siren grimaced. “I hope we don’tmeet the wail, though. I’ve had some experience with mu-sic on water, and this makes me nervous.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, you ought to know,” Tandy agreed. “My fathersaid you could bring any man to you from afar, if he heardyou.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, when I had my magic,” she said sadly. “Thosedays are gone, and perhaps it is just as well, but I do getlonely.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey approached the east side of the lake. But here theyencountered more trouble. An ugly head lifted on a serpen-tine neck. It was not exactly a dragon’s head, and not ex-actly a sea monster’s head, but it had affinities with both.It was not large as monster heads went, but it hissed vi-ciously enough.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash was tired of being balked. He did not mess withthis minor monster; he reached out with one hand andcaught the neck between gauntleted thumb and forefinger.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nImmediately another head appeared, similar to the firstand just as aggressive. Smash caught this one in his otherglove.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen a third came. This was getting awkward! Had hestumbled onto a whole nest of serpents? Hastily Smashsmashed the first two heads together, crushing both, andreached for the third.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They all connecti” the Siren exclaimed. “It’s a many-headed serpent!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIndeed it was! Four more heads rose up, making sevenin all. Smash crushed two more, but had to move quickly toprevent the remaining three from burying their fangs in hislimbs. He rose to the need, however, by catching one underhis feet and the last two in his hands. In a moment all hadbeen crushed, and he relaxed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Smash, look out!” Tandy cried. “More heads!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nApparently a couple of the ones he had dealt with hadnot been completely destroyed, and had revived. This wasunusual; things seldom recovered from the impact of ogreforce. He grabbed these\u2014and discovered they sproutedfrom the same neck. Their junction formed a neat Y. Hewas sure he hadn’t encountered this configuration before.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“More heads!” Tandy screamed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>79<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now there were six more, in three pairs. New headswere growing from the old ones!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s a hydra!” the Siren cried. “Each lost head generatestwo more! You can never get ahead of it!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ve got too many heads of it!” Smash muttered, step-ping back. The hydra was generating a small forest of hiss-ing heads, each lunging and snapping at anything in range.Two were squaring off at each other.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You can’t kill a hydra,” the Siren continued. “Its es-sence is immortal. It draws its strength from the water.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then I shall remove the water,” Smash said. “It will beeasy to bash a hole in this rim and let the lake out.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, please don’t do that!” the Siren protested. “I’m acreature of water, and I hate to see it mistreated. Youwould ruin a perfectly lovely lake, and drown many inno-cent creatures below, and kill many innocent lake denizens.There is an entire ecology in any such body\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWas the mermaid becoming the conscience of the group?Smash hesitated.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s true,” John admitted. “Pretty lakes should be leftalone. Most of them have much more good than evil inthem.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash looked at Tandy. “I agree,” she said. “We don’twant to harm others, and this water is nice.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ogre shrugged. He didn’t want trouble with hisfriends. As he thought about it, with his amplified EyeQueue intelligence\u2014which remained a nuisance\u2014he real-ized they were right. Wanton destruction could only beget adeterioration of the environment of Xanth, and that would,in the long run, damage the prospects of ogres. “No harmto others,” he agreed gruffly. If any other ogres ever heardof this, he would be in trouble! Imagine not destroyingsomething!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I could kiss you,” Tandy said. “But I can’t reachyou.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash chuckled. “Good thing. Now we’ll have to swimacross the lake. Do all of you know how to swim?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I couldn’t swim,” John said. “My wings wouldbreak.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe you can fly now,” the Siren suggested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe.” The fairy tried, buzzing her pretty wings,making the flower-pattern blossoms again. She seemed to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n80 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlighten as the downdraft of air dusted dirt out from theridge, but she did not quite take off. Then she jumped. Agust of wind passed at that moment, carrying her out overthe rim. She agitated her wings furiously, but could notsustain elevation and began to fall.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash reached out and caught her before she crashedinto the rocky slope. She screamed, then realized he washelping her, not attacking her. He set her carefully back onthe ledge, where she stood panting prettily and quiveringwith reaction.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not yet, it seems,” the Siren said. “But you might sit onSmash’s back while he swims.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I suppose,” the fairy agreed faintly. Her little barebosom was heaving. It occurred to Smash that the loss ofthe ability to fly might be quite disturbing to a creaturewhose natural mode of travel was flight. He might reactsimilarly if he lost his ogre strength.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey entered the water. Tandy could swim well enough,and, of course, the Siren converted to mermaid form andwas completely at home. John perched nervously onSmash’s head and was so light he hardly felt her weight.He began stroking across the lake, careful not to splashenough to cause trouble, despite his pleasure in splashing.Some sacrifices were necessary when one traveled in com-pany.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren led the way, easily outdistancing the others.That creature certainly could swim; she was in her ele-ment.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen something loomed from the north. It was huge anddark, like a low-flying thundercloud, scooting across thewater. Simultaneously the awful wailing came again, andnow Smash realized it came from the cloud-thing. Therewas also a pattering drumbeat punctuating the wails.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Siren paused in place. “I don’t like this,” she said.”That thing is trotting on the surface of the water; I feelthe vibrations of its footfalls. And it’s headed for us. Icould outdistance it, I think; but Tandy can’t, and Smashcan’t do much without imperiling John. We had better getout of the water.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s coming too fast,” John said. “It will catch us beforewe get back to shore.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe was right. The monster loomed rapidly onward, cast-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>81<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning a dark shadow. It was not actually a cloud, but wascomposed of gray-blue foam, with a number of holesthrough which the wailing passed, and hundreds of little feetthat touched the water. When it moved to one side, theysaw the prints left on the surface, just like the ones theyhad seen before. The prints of wails.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, we are doomed!” John cried. “Save yourself,Smash; dive under the water, hide from it!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAn ogre hide from a monster? Little did the fairy graspthe magnitude of the insult she had innocently rendered.”No,” Smash said. “I’ll fight it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s too big to fight!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It probably smothers its prey by surrounding it,” Tandysaid. She was being practical. She seemed much less afraidof things since having ‘discovered the ultimate nature offear inside the gourd. Monsters were only monsters, whenone’s soul was intact. “You can’t fight fog or jelly.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash realized she was probably right. These assortedgirls were making more sense than he would have thoughtbefore he came to know them. In the water, with a delicateand flightless fairy on his head, he could not fight effi-ciently anyway\u2014and if there was nothing really solid topunch out, his fists would be of little use.’ It galled him toconcede that there were monsters that an ogre couldn’thandle, but in this case it seemed to be so. Curse this EyeQueue that made him see reason!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll lead it away!” the Siren cried. She was hovering inthe water, her powerful tail elevating her body, so that itwas as if she stood only waist-deep. She would have been aconsiderable sight, that way, for a human male. It seemedto Smash that she should have no trouble attracting a mer-man, at such time as she found one. “You swim on acrossthe lake,” the Siren continued. She set off toward the west,moving with amazing velocity. She was like a bird in flightacross the surface of the lake.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhen she was a fair distance away, she paused and be-gan to sing. She had a beautiful voice, with an eerie qual-ity, a little like the wailing of the monster. Perhaps she wasdeliberately imitating it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe monster paused. Then it rotated grandly and rantoward the Siren, its little feet striking the water withoutsplashing, leaving the prints. That mystery had been<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n82 Ogre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsolved, though Smash did not understand how the printsremained after the wailing monster moved on. But, ofcourse, the effects of magic did not need any explanation.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOnce the monster had cleared the area, lured away bythe Siren, Smash and Tandy swam on across. It was a fairdistance, and Tandy tired, slowing them; it seemed therewere not many lakes this big in the underworld. FinallySmash told her to grab hold of one of his feet so he couldtow her. The truth was, he was getting tired himself; hewould have preferred to wade, but the water was far toodeep for that. It would have been un-ogrish to confess anyweakness, however.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey made it safely to the north lip. They drew them-selves out and rested, hoping the Siren was all right.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSoon she appeared, swimming deep below the surface.Her tail gave her a tremendous forward thrust, and shewas a thing of genuine beauty as she slid through the wa-ter, her hair streaming back like bright seaweed, her bodyas sleek and glossy as that of a healthy fish. Then she cameup, her head bursting the surface, her hands rising auto-matically to brush back her wet tresses, mermaidlike. “My,that was interesting!” she said, flipping out of the water tosit on the rim, her tail hidden in the water, so that now shemost resembled a healthy nymph.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The monster was friendly?” Tandy asked doubtfully.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No, it tried to consume me. But it couldn’t reach belowthe water because its magic prints keep it above. It tried tolure me close, but I’m an experienced hand at luring crea-tures, and was too careful to be taken in.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then you were in real danger!” Tandy was now verysensitive to danger from monsters that lured their victims,whether by an easy access path or a convenient peephole.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No danger for me,” the Siren said, flinging her damphair out as she changed to human legs and climbed the restof the way from the water. “Few creatures can catch mykind in our element. Not that there are many quite likeme; most merfolk can’t make legs. That’s my human heri-tage. Of course, my sister the Gorgon never was able tomake a tail; it was her face that changed. Magical heredityis funny stuff! But I talked briefly with the monster. Heconsiders himself a whale.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A whale of a what?” Smash asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n83<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Just a whale.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Isn’t that a Mundane monster?” John asked. It was gen-erally known in Xanth that the worst monsters were Mun-dane, as were the worst people.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes. But this one claims some whales migrated toXanth, grew legs so they could cross to inland waters, andthen kept the legs for lake-running. Some find small lakes;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey’re puddle-jumpers. Some find pools of rum; they’rerum-runners. He says he’s of the first water, a royal mon-ster, a Prince of his kind.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A Prince of Whales,” Tandy said. “Is he really?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t think so. That’s why he wails.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Life is hard all over,” Smash said without much sympa-thy. “Let’s get down off this mountain.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIndeed, the sun was losing strength and starting to fall,as it did each day, never learning to conserve its energy sothat it could stay aloft longer. They needed to get to a com-fortable place before night. Fortunately, the slope on thisside was not as steep, so they were able to slide down itfairly readily.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs they neared the northern base, where the forest re-sumed, a nymph came out to meet them. She was a deli-cate brown in color, with green hair fringed with red. Hertorso, though slender and full in the manner of her kind,was gently corrugated like the bark of a young tree, andher toes were rootlike. She approached Tandy, who was themost human of the group. “Please\u2014do you know whereCastle Roogna is?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I tried to reach Castle Roogna a year ago,” Tandy said.”But I got lost. I think Smash knows, though.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, I wouldn’t ask an ogre!” the nymph exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“He’s a halfway tame ogre,” Tandy assured her. “Hedoesn’t eat many nymphs.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSmash was getting used to these slights. He waited pa-tiently for the nymph to gain confidence, then answeredher question as well as he could. “I have been to CastleRoogna. But I’m not going there at the moment, and theway is difficult. It is roughly west of here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll find it somehow,” the nymph said. “I’ve got to.” Shefaced west.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now wait,” Tandy protested, as Smash had suspectedshe would. The girl had sympathy enough to overflow all<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n84<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOgre, Ogre<\/span>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Read the full book by downloading it below.<\/p>\n

DOWNLOAD EPUB<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Book Preview Chapter 1. Nightmare Tandy tried to sleep, but it was difficult Thedemon had never actually entered her private bedroom, butshe was afraid that one night he would. This night she wasalone; therefore she worried. Her father Crombie was a rough soldier who had notruck with demons. But he was away most of the … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":368,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21],"class_list":["post-369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-piers-anthony"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/368"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}