{"id":383,"date":"2026-01-03T20:36:34","date_gmt":"2026-01-03T20:36:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/piers-anthony-xanth-12-man-from-mundania-anthony-piers\/"},"modified":"2026-01-03T20:36:34","modified_gmt":"2026-01-03T20:36:34","slug":"piers-anthony-xanth-12-man-from-mundania-anthony-piers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/piers-anthony-xanth-12-man-from-mundania-anthony-piers\/","title":{"rendered":"Piers, Anthony – Xanth 12 – Man From Mundania – Anthony, Piers"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Book Preview<\/h3>\n
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\n\n<\/p>\n

\nMAN FROM MUNDANIA\u00a0 <\/span>–\u00a0 <\/span>XANTH 12<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 1. Heaven Cent<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u2022vy woke, stretched, and opened her eyes. It<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas dawn; the sun had not yet quite dared show its round<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nface, because darkness made it nervous, but soon it would<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nget up its nerve. She looked at the Tapestry, with its ever-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nchanging picture of Xanth. She never really tired of watch-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning it, though her interest waxed and waned. It waxed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhen it rained outside because it was more fun to remain<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ninside where it was dry, and it waned when Zora Zombie<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas waxing the stairs and the smell of the wax got chok-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ningly thick. Thus, as she put it, it waxed when it waned,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand waned when it waxed. It was her private joke with<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDt^ph? the adults didn’t understand. Adults were chroni-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncal^slow about such things.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSure enough, Zora was waxing today; the smell was just<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstarting. Ivy had only minutes to find a pretext to go far<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\naway, several days if possible, until the wax settled down.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut she was running out of pretexts; what was left?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe jumped out of bed so suddenly she frightened the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmonster under it\u2014Grabraham; she heard his honk as he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshrank away. He was a young monster, replacing Snorti-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmer, who had departed long ago; he tended to be timid.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe was also reaching the age when folk started not be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlieving in Bed Monsters, and that made it that much worse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhen she turned eighteen she would stop believing en-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntirely, and the poor thing would fade away. Grabby was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n1<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n2<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n3<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nquite upset over the prospect, for some reason. She was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsorry about that, but there was really no alternative; she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncouldn’t stop herself from getting older.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe ran barefoot to the next room where Princess Nada<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nslept. Nada had moved in three years before when Dolph<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbrought her home, and the two had become great friends,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbecause they were the same age and rank and similarly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npretty. Nada was only half human, but she kept her human<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nform when staying at Castle Roogna, just from courtesy.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPrincesses had to leam courtesy early, because princes<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncertainly didn’t.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Nada!” she cried. “I need a pretext in a hurry.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada sat up in bed, wrinkling her nose. “I know; I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsmell it too. I’ll go with you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Of course! But where?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada concentrated. “Have we used the mirror yet?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We don’t have the magic mirror!” Ivy reminded her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Com-Pewter got it last year, and won’t give it back!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes. So\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy caught on. “So we’ll just have to go and fetch it!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBecause I’ll need it when I use the Heaven Cent!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Exactly. Except\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I know. Except that Com-Pewter isn’t going to let us<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhave it without a fight, and he fights dirty. Still, it’s a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nperfect excuse, if we can only figure out a way.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe Electra\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s right! She could shock Pewter into letting it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngo!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra appeared in the doorway. “Did someone say my<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nname?” she asked sleepily. She was a freckled child whose<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhair was a bit frizzy; her eyes were the color of wonder,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand there were smile lines around her button nose. No one<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould think, to look at her, that she was tragically in love.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Zora’s waxing the stairs! Come help us get the magic<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmirror from Com-Pewter!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Is that what I smelled! Just let me get dressed!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was a scramble as the three of them dived into<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nproper clothing. In a moment they were together again;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe two princesses in dresses, glancing jealously at Electra<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nin her rainbow jeans. She was of common stock, so could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nget away with practical clothing. She was also slender<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nenough to wear it without attracting stray male eyes or<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfemale frowns.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nQuickly they trooped down the hall to the farther stair-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nway, avoiding the wax. Unfortunately this led them past<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDolph’s room, and he heard them. He had ears like those<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof a werewolf, perhaps because he commonly assumed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwolf form to snooze. His door banged open. “Hey,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere’re you going?” he cried. “Are you sneaking out<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nagain?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada and Electra paused: Nada because she didn’t want<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto hurt his feelings, Electra because she was in love with<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim. Both were betrothed to him, of course, though he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas only twelve. In a moment Electra would invite him<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nalong, because she always wanted to be close to him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTo prevent that. Ivy dived in. “We’re going to get the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmagic mirror from Com-Pewter so I can have it when I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nuse the Heaven Cent,” she said. “So we can find out<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere Good Magician Humfrey is and finally complete<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyour Quest.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But Mother won’t let you\u2014” he started, reasonably.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So you’ll have to cover for us!” Ivy finished. ” ‘Bye!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe still looked doubtful. But Nada stepped in and kissed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim, not saying a word. “Uh, sure,” he said. He was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSilly Putty in her hands, of course, even though he knew<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe didn’t love him. It was the mirror image of his asso-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nciation with Electra. He changed into zombie form and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwalked back the way they had come. Zombies didn’t mind<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe smell of wax, so he would be able to brave those stairs<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndespite Zora’s mischief.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey completed their escape. Whatever Dolph had done<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmust have been sufficient, because no one tried to inter-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncept them. Ivy whistled for Stanley, and in a moment the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndragon whored around the castle and joined them. He<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas almost grown now, and soon would have to depart for<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe Gap because guarding it was his job. Ivy would be sad<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhen he left, but knew it was the same as it was with her:<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nage had its burdens. Meanwhile, he was excellent protec-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntion; they had no fear of wild monsters while in the com-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npany of the tame one.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundonia<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n4<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey snatched fruits from the orchard as they passed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthrough it, eating on the run. Then they reached the main<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npath going north. Every so often Com-Pewter arranged to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nset up a D-tour, and then King Dor would send out some-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\none to shut it down because it was a public nuisance. Ivy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhappened to know that there was a D-tour currently in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nforce, and this time they meant to take it. It was the easiest<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nway to reach the evil machine. They were supposed to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstay clear of the infernal contraption, of course, which was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npart of what made him so intriguing. Stanley would be>fio<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprotection against him, but Electra would.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>v^><\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSure enough, there was the D-tour. They veered onto<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit. Now they could relax, because even if it got shut down,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey wouldn’t lose it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey stopped for the night near the unlevel playing field<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere the Bulls and the Bears charged back and forth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrundy Golem had discovered this during his Quest to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlocate the missing pet dragon. It was called the Market,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand the Bulls and Bears were the Stock. Almost every day<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe foolish animals resumed their pointless activity, react-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning dramatically to insignificant events and ignoring major<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nevents. There were many strange things in Xanth, but this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbusiness was too strange for even the craziest folk to un-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nderstand. What did those Bulls and Bears find so fascinat-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning about that Stock Market?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStanley whomped off into the thickest wilderness to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncatch a bite to eat, while the three girls harvested pies<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrom a pie tree near the path. It wasn’t much of a tree,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut Ivy used her talent to enhance it, and then the pies<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbecame so healthy that they steamed. There were many<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmore such trees along all the paths than in years of yore,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbecause Ivy’s mother, Irene, had seeded them in and made<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthem grow, and Ivy had Enhanced them.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhile they ate, they talked, for it was always fun to talk<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhen there were no adults to listen in. Inevitably the sub-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nject found its way to Romance, for that was the most<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfascinating concept ever to approach teenage girls.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“When are you going to Find a Boy, Ivy?” Nada in-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nquired. “I mean, you’re well into seventeen, and when<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>5<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyour mother was that age she had already landed your<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfather and trussed him up.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And by the time my little brother was nine, he had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nalready landed two finacees,” Ivy agreed. “I confess to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbeing retarded.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada and Electra grinned ruefully. Nada had been four-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nteen when the young Prince Dolph had come to her father,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe King of the Naga, for help, and because the naga<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nneeded an alliance with the humans, the King had agreed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto help if Dolph married his daughter. Nada had had to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npretend she was Dolph’s age, nine, knowing that her real<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nage would freak him out. It was only a betrothal, of course;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey would have to wait until Dolph came of age for the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nactual ceremony of marriage. But meanwhile the alliance<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas valid, and Nada had kept company with Dolph while<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher folk received sundry items from the Castle Roogna<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\narsenal to fight off the encroaching goblins. There seemed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto be more goblins in Xanth than there used to be; no one<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas quite sure why, but it did make for trouble.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the Heaven Cent had brought Electra to Dolph.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe had to marry him or die, so Dolph agreed to be be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntrothed to her too. That had happened at about the time<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDolph discovered that Nada was five years older than he,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nso it might have been an easy decision for him to make.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut in the end he had realized that he loved Nada, so that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbetrothal had remained.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThus their quandary: they all knew that Dolph had to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nchoose between the two girls before he came of age. If he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nchose Nada, he would honor his word to the naga folk,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand as a prince he was bound to keep his word. But Elec-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntra would die. None of them wanted that.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThree years had passed, while Electra used her talent<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto charge the Heaven Cent. The three girls had become<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfast friends. So they accepted the situation as it was: un-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nresolved. Electra loved Dolph, and Dolph loved Nada.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada didn’t love Dolph, and Dolph didn’t love Electra.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHow was this picklement to be settled? No one knew, but<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit remained a favorite topic for conjecture. Fortunately it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould be several more years before Dolph Came of Age,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nso the matter wasn’t pressing yet.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n6 Man from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Didn’t you know a Boy, once?” Electra asked. She<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad been born more than eight hundred years before\u2014-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmaybe closer to nine hundred\u2014and had slept through all<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthose centuries until Dolph kissed her awake. So her phys-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nical age was fifteen, and she looked twelve; indeed, she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas still a child in all the ways that counted, except for<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe spell that made her love Dolph- But because of that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nspell, she understood something of love and had a lively<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncuriosity about it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes,” Ivy said, remembering. “I knew Hugo, the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGood Magician’s son. He was five years older than me.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The right way around!” Nada said. They all knew that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na boy could love a girl who was five years younger, but a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngirl could not love a boy five years younger. That was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada’s plight. She could marry Dolph, when the time<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncame, but couldn’t love him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh,” Electra said, understanding. “So when the Good<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMagician disappeared, so did his son!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes. Hugo wasn’t much, but he was nice, and he could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nconjure fruit. Only he usually conjured rotten fruit.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Rotten fruit!” Electra exclaimed, laughing. She<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplucked a cherry from her pie and tossed it at Ivy. “Have<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsome rotten fruit!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, so that’s the way it is!” Ivy cried with mock out-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nrage. She plucked a fragment of peach from her own pie<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand threw it at Electra. “Have a peach of pie yourself!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Electra, childishly canny, ducked, and the piece hit<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oho!” Nada said. Her pie was lemon meringue, but<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthere were no lemon pieces to throw, so she threw me-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nringue instead.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn a moment they were engrossed in their very most<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfavorite sport: a food fight. For some obscure reason this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas frowned on at the castle, so this was a golden oppor-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntunity. When Stanley returned, all three were thoroughly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nspattered. The dragon offered to lick them clean, but at<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe first lick Electra dissolved into titillations of ticklish-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nness, and that set them all off in helpless laughter.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFortunately there was a hot spring nearby. The three<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplunged in\u2014only to indulge in a fury of splash-fighting,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>7<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith piercing screams, while Stanley prowled in a circle<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\naround them, ready to help steam them clean. If it hadn’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbeen for him, every predator in the region would have<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbeen there, attracted by the delicious sounds of shrieking<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnymphs.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was fun, being girls.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey camped for the night in a nest of pillows within<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe circle formed by Stanley, who curled around and caught<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhis tail in his mouth. Ivy had told him the story of Uro-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nborus, the giant serpent who circled the Mundane world<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n(which it seemed was round) and grasped its own tail, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStanley liked the notion, so now he slept that way himself.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was long, but really not that long; he could not hope<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto circle the world. It didn’t matter, because he was only<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndoing it for the feel of it. Meanwhile, they were quite safe,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhich was the point.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhen they got tired of walking, they took turns riding<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non Stanley. It was an art to remain perched while he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhomped along, but they had had time to practice it. First<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe rider would be low, then riding high, then low again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWheee! Electra took special joy in this, not ashamed to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyield to her juvenile impulses. Ivy and Nada, being more<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmature (and in dresses), were obliged to pretend that it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreally wasn’t all that special.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs they approached Corn-Pewter’s cave, they paused for<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na consultation. “Should we try to hide our identities from<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim?” Ivy asked. Com-Pewter was really an “it” but it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas easier to ascribe masculine evil, so they called it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“he.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“He’ll never be fooled,” Nada said. “He’ll know we<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndidn’t come here just to giggle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But maybe if we can hide our talents\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada shrugged. “We can try. But I don’t think it will<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwork. He certainly knows about Ivy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Unless he’s overconfident, so doesn’t check, and\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy’s eyes flicked meaningfully toward Electra.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada nodded. “When I change form, try to escape,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndistracting him\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Electra nodded. “Gotcha.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n8 Man from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“All else is bluff,” Ivy said. “Maybe we’ll pull it off<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwithout violence.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe,” Nada agreed, seeming less confident.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Stanley, you go hide in the jungle,” Ivy said. “After<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe invisible giant passes, sneak up and follow us, but<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndon’t let yourself be seen. That machine in there is devi-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nous, and we may need to be rescued if things go wrong.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStanley nodded. He was only a dragon, but in Ivy’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npresence his ferocity and intelligence were enhanced, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe understood her perfectly. He ceased whomping and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nslithered into the brush beside the path. In a moment his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsinuous green body merged with the foliage and disap-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npeared. He would be watching.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey looked on, chatting innocently, in the way girls<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad when innocence was the last thing on their minds.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ground shook. “There’s the invisible giant, right<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non cue,” Ivy remarked. “Get ready to spook.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe ground shook again. They paused, gazing wildly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\naround. “What’s that?” Electra cried, her hair flaring<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nslightly. She was very good at spooking.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was another shake. “It’s the invisible giant!” Ivy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncried in seeming horror.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“EEEEEEEK!” Nada and Electra screamed in perfect<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nunison.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Run!” Ivy cried,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe three broke into a run, right toward the cave. That<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas the way Com-Pewter set it up: first travelers got onto<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe D-tour, then they were herded by the invisible giant<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nuntil they took refuge in the cave\u2014where they were trapped<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nby Com-Pewter. They were walking into it deliberately,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthis time.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nJust before the slow-moving giant came into sight (as it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwere), they reached the cave and plunged in. It was dark,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut in a moment a light showed deeper inside, so of course<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey went toward it. Soon they were in Com-Pewter’s main<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nchamber.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere he was: an odd collection of wires and colored<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmetalware, with a big glassy screen sitting up in the center.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWords appeared on this screen, written in light:<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nG&EETWGS, GIRLS.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>9<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe three tittered uncertainly. Ivy put her finger to her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmouth as if nervous, which really was not much of an<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nexaggeration. “What is that?” she asked, staring at the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nscreen.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nl AM COM-PEWTER, YOUR HOST, the screen said. TO<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWHAT DO I OWE THE HONOR OF THIS VISIT, PRINCESS IVY?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo much for secrecy! Ivy decided to get right on with<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit. “I have come for the magic mirror you stole from Cas-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntle Roogna.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ni STOLE NO MIRROR! the screen printed angrily, i WON<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIT.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You stole it!” Ivy retorted. “And I want it back!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDID NOT! the screen replied.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Did too!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDID NOT!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy realized that Com-Pewter, who was of the techno-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlogical persuasion, could continue this argument forever.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMachines were like golems: it didn’t bother them to repeat<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthings indefinitely. Ivy, being just about grown-up (except<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfor the matter of a boyfriend), could no longer indulge in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsuch activity; it wasn’t dignified.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You lured a traveler here, who was using the mirror<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith my father’s permission, and you only let him go be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncause he left the mirror,” Ivy said stoutly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCORRECT. I PLAYED A GAME WITH HIM AND WON. THE<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMIRROR IS MINE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The mirror is not yours!” she snapped. “It wasn’t his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto give away! He had borrowed it, and he was going to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreturn it when he finished his mission. So you stole it, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou have to give it back.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI WON IT AND I DON’T HAVE TO RETURN IT.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, you do!” Ivy said. “Or else!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOR ELSE WHAT?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Or else my father. King Dor, will have to do some-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthing.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOUR FATHER DOES NOT KNOW YOU ARE HERE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis machine was entirely too clever! “Well, then, \/<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwill have to do something.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDO WHAT?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n” VVi teiw to \\2&a. A& YBHTOE b-ask. fcy fas\u00bbl>. w kfj crook.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n10 Man from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBUT A PRINCESS IS NOT A CROOK.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll make an exception.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTHEN I WILL HAVE TO HOLD YOU CAPTIVE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy delivered a haughty stare. “Are you threatening me,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou crock?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYES.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo much for bluffing! “Then it’s war!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIT ALWAYS WAS.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“War, then,” she said boldly. “Where do you have the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmirror?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWHY DO YOU WANT IT?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why should I tell you that?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWHY SHOULD I TELL YOU WHERE IT IS?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOh. “You mean you’ll tell me where it is, if I tell you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhy I want it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOF COURSE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘ ‘I need it to take with me when I use the Heaven Cent.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe screen blinked. This news had evidently taken the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmachine aback. Then the words appeared: THE MIRROR is<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIN THE CABINET BY THE BACK EXIT.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy looked toward the rear of the cave. There was a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncabinet. She knew the machine could not tell an untruth,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut it could tell a partial truth. “Is the cabinet locked?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNO.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“There must be some reason I can’t get it, even if I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbeat you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTHERE IS NO REASON.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t believe it!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGO TO THE CABINET. TAKE THE MIRROR.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re giving it to me?” she asked incredulously.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNO. I AM MERELY EVINCING MY GOOD FAITH. YOU MAY<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHOLD THE MIRROR. IT DOES NOT MATTER, BECAUSE IF I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMAKE YOU CAPTIVE, THE MIRROR REMAINS CAPTIVE TOO.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy walked to the cabinet. She pulled open its top<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndrawer. There was the magic mirror! She picked it up.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe it’s the wrong mirror!” Nada exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe it only looks like the one you want.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTEST IT, the machine printed imperturbably.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Show me my brother,” Ivy told the mirror.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nn<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPrince Dolph appeared in the mirror. He was sitting<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nquite still. That was suspicious.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Show me the larger context,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe image of Dolph shrank as the scope of the scene<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nincreased. Now the image showed the boy sitting on Ivy’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbed, watching the magic Tapestry.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That little stink hom!” Ivy exclaimed. “He sneaked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ninto my room to watch the Tapestry!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That figures,” Nada said. “He does like it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy nodded. “Almost as well as he likes you,” she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nagreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe mirror was genuine. “All right. Pewter,” Ivy said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now it starts. I’m walking out of here\u2014with the mir-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nror.” She started walking toward the front of the cave.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPRINCESS IVY CHANGES HER MIND, the screen printed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, maybe not with the mirror,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ivy!” Nada cried. “Don’t let him rewrite the script!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy glared at the screen. “So you’re doing it. Pewter!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe said severely. “Well, it won’t work! I’m not changing<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmy mind!” She resumed walking.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPRINCESS IVY SEES A BIG HAIRY SPIDER ON THE FLOOR.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was the spider, right in front of her. ‘ ‘Eeeeek!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe screeched, horrified.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Don’t fall for that!” Nada called. “It’s illusion!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it’s a big hairy illusion!” Ivy replied.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘ ‘Just walk through it!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy realized that she would have to do just that. She<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntook a nervous step toward the spider.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe spider reared up on six of its hairy legs, and hissed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy skipped back, affrighted again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This is ridiculous,” Nada said. “I’ll take care of that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nspider.” For the naga had no fear of spiders; they ate<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthem.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNADA ENCOUNTERS HER WORST HORROR, the Screen<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprinted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe spider converted into a man-high mound of cake<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncovered with ice cream covered with chocolate fudge with<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhipped cream topping.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, ugh!” Nada exclaimed, retreating.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You hate cake?” Electra asked, amazed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n12 Man from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“When I traveled with Dolph, we came to an isle\u2014one<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof the keys\u2014made of cake and icing and all. We ate until<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwe got sick. Ever since, I can’t stand the stuff. My stom-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nach turns at the very notion!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, mine doesn’t!” Electra said. “Let me at it!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nELECTRA ENCOUNTERS HER WORST HORROR.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe cake reshaped into an open coffin. The interior was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplush, and there was a coverlet and pillow inside. It looked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nquite comfortable.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra’s eyes went round with horror. “No, no! I don’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwant to go back to sleep there!” she cried, retreating. For<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe had slept for a thousand years (minus time on” for good<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbehavior) in just such a coffin, having fallen in as victim<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof a curse by Magician Murphy. If she ever went back to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit, she would slumber the rest of the sentence, then die in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher sleep. She backed away until she almost banged into<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe big screen.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhich was exactly where Ivy wanted her. “I think we’ve<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad enough of this,” she said firmly. “I’m not going to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlet that hairy spider stop me this time! Nada\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Right.” Nada abruptly changed form, becoming a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsnake. If the spider reappeared, she would snap it up.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNADA ENCOUNTERS\u2014the screen began.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut at that point Electra, responding to their agreed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsignal, slapped her hand down on top of the screen and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndelivered a tremendous jolt of electric current. That was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher talent, of course, and it was formidable in the right<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsituation.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe screen nickered. WRITE-ERROR! it flashed. Then<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngibberish symbols raced across it. Then more words: IN-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTERRUPTS OFF! Then nothing; it faded out entirely.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Come on, let’s get out of here before he recovers!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy said. She hurried across the cave. Nothing opposed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher; the illusions that had been the spider, cake, and coffin<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwere gone. Electra’s shock had thrown Corn-Pewter into<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nconfusion, and he would have to put all his circuits in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\norder before he could resume revising reality.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey ran out, Nada resuming human form. There was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStanley in the entrance tunnel, steaming. Had their elec-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntric magic ploy failed, the dragon would have fired a jet<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nr<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>13<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof hot steam at the screen, and that probably would have<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndone the job. They had come prepared.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey rushed out into daylight while Stanley guarded<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntheir rear. If Com-Pewter recovered too soon and started<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprinting barriers to their escape, the dragon would use his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhead of steam after all.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe day remained clear, but there was now a horrible<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsmell, as of a hundred fat men sweating in unison.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra was childishly fleet on her feet. She led the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nway\u2014and suddenly stopped. “Ooof!” she grunted, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsat down, gasping.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy was next. ” ‘Lectra! What’s the matter?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra, still struggling for breath, pointed ahead. But<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthere was nothing there.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The odor must have choked her,” Nada said, coming<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nup. “Did a sphinx die nearby?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy stepped forward\u2014and banged into an invisible col-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\numn.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen, from above, came a sound: “A-ooo-ga?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The invisible giant!” Ivy exclaimed. “He’s standing<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhere!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Because he doesn’t know what to do now that Com-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPewter’s on the blink,” Nada said. “But we can help<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim.” She tilted her head back. “Hey, Giant!” she called.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Go take a bath!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Baaath?” the huge voice came back.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Go jump in the lake!” Ivy called helpfully.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe monstrous invisible legs moved. The ground quaked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith each footfall. In a moment a patch of trees to the side<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas flattened. Then another patch, in the shape of a tre-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmendous footprint. Then there was a truly phenomenal<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsplash in the nearby lake.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Move\u2014before everything floods!” Ivy cried, helping<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra to her feet. The girl wasn’t hurt; she had just had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe breath knocked out of her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey ran on down the path\u2014and indeed, a wash of wa-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nter was coming, and drops spattered down around them<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlike rain.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStanley whomped after them, catching up. They had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmade their escape\u2014and Ivy had the mirror!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n14<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n15<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n* * *<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was whatfor to pay when they returned, of course,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut Ivy was used to that; she had gotten into mischief all<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher cute life. She had recovered the magic mirror, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat went far to stifle her mother’s sharp tongue. Anyway,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDolph had been watching their little adventure on the Tap-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nestry, and would have warned King Dor had things gone<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreally bad.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill, Ivy was bothered by one aspect of it. It seemed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto her that their escape had been too easy. Sober later<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreflection suggested that surely Com-Pewter had known of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra’s talent, and could have insulated himself against<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit. Why hadn’t he done so? Had he been careless, just this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nonce? It had seemed so at the time, but in retrospect this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nseemed less likely. It was almost as if the machine had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwanted to give back the mirror. But that didn’t seem to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmake sense. Com-Pewter never did anything for anybody<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nvoluntarily, unless he stood to gain a lot more than he lost.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhat could he gain from giving up the valuable mirror?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWell, the deed was done, and she had the mirror. Now<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe had confidence to use the Heaven Cent. For now that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nElectra had charged it, the cent was ready for use\u2014and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey had always known that it would be used to complete<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe Quest Dolph had started: to find Good Magician Hum-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrey, who had disappeared seven years ago with his family,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nleaving his castle empty. He had to be found, for unan-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nswered Questions were piling up. Xanth needed him!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPrince Dolph could not use the cent. Their parents had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbeen quite firm on that. Prince Dolph had gotten himself<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbetrothed to two girls at once, and he had to stay and face<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe medicine. He had to choose between them, get unbe-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntrothed to one and marry the other, when he came of age.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nUntil he settled that mess (Queen Irene called it a “situ-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nation” but a mess was what it was; everybody knew that),<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe was not going anywhere.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo Ivy was going to use it. The magic of the cent was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat it took whoever invoked it to wherever or whatever or<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhenever or whoever needed that person the most. There<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas no certainty that Good Magician Humfrey needed Ivy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe most, but his message to Dolph had named the Heaven<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCent. If the Good Magician thought it would help him,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthen surely it would, for Humfrey was the Magician of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nInformation and knew everything. So Ivy expected to find<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim, wherever he was, and expected to be the right person<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfor the job. Magic had a way of working out, with her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYet she was not, deep, deep down inside, quite sure.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor one thing, there was Magician Murphy’s curse. Ma-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngician Murphy had lived eight or nine hundred years be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfore, and his talent had been to make anything that could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngo wrong, go wrong. He had cursed the folk of Electra’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntime, and as a result Electra had been caught up in the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nspell, and Dolph had wound up betrothed to two girls in-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstead of one. Eight hundred years, and Murphy’s curse<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad been potent! So how could she be sure it was not still<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\noperating? That it would somehow mess up her mission,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand make things even worse than before, and get her lost<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nas well as the Good Magician?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe answer was, she could not be sure. Maybe Magi-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncian Humfrey had known best\u2014but maybe he had forgot-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nten about that ancient curse. There was only one way to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfind out for sure\u2014and that made her nervous.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut she did not express these doubts to anyone else, for<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat might make it seem that she wanted to renege on her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nagreement to use the Heaven Cent. She certainly wasn’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngoing to do that! The Good Magician had to be found;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDolph had done his part, and now it was her turn.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe day soon came. The Heaven Cent was fully charged<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand ready. Electra said so, and Electra knew; she had been<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntrained in this by the Sorceress Tapis, who had woven the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngreat historical Tapestry that now hung in Ivy’s room. In-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndeed, the first cent she had crafted had worked marvel-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nously well, bringing Electra herself here to the present just<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhen they needed another Heaven Cent.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy had watched those old events more than once on the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTapestry, verifying everything that Electra had told her,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnot because she doubted the girl, but because she was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ninsatiably curious about old-time adventure and romance<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand tragedy. Certainly her own life lacked any trace of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsuch elements; she was safe and dull here in Castle<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n16<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n17<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nRoogna. That might be another reason she wanted to go<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non this Quest: for the things she missed. And she did want<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto go, despite her secret misgivings.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhere would the cent take her? To the top of fabulous<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMount Rushmost, where the winged monsters gathered?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTo the bottom of the deepest sea where the merfolk swam?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTo the heart of the savagest jungle where things too aw-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nful to contemplate quivered in their foulness? Where was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe Good Magician? That was the mystery of the age, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe could hardly wait to unravel it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy made her farewells to all her friends and family<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmembers. Her father looked uncomfortable, and her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmother was stifling tears. They all knew that Ivy would<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnot be hurt or even be in serious danger; they had been<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nable to verify this with incidental magic, perhaps having<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprivate doubts similar to Ivy’s. But they had not been able<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto learn where she would go or how long she would be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\naway\u2014only that she would return unharmed. So it was an<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\noccasion of mixed feelings.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe said good-bye to her brother, Dolph, and his two<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbetrotheds, Nada and Electra. Surely she would be back<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nin time to see the resolution of that triangle! Nada gave<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher a sisterly embrace, and then Electra gave her the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncharged Heaven Cent. The girl was chewing her lip as if<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwanting to say something, perhaps about staying clear of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncurses; Ivy smiled with a reassurance she wished were<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngenuine.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut she had one more farewell to make: she went out<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand gave Stanley Steamer a final hug. “I think it’s time<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfor you to go to the Gap,” she said tearfully. “You’re a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbig dragon now, and I can’t keep you forever. But I’ll visit<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou, after I’m done with this business.” Stanley gave her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nface a careful lick, after she enhanced the softness of his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntongue.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe took the cent and held it before her. It was the size<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof a large penny, gleaming brightly, its copper surface im-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbued with the magic of its nature. All she had to do was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ninvoke it!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe shivered, remembering Murphy’s curse once more.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut surely that could have no real force. After all, the Evil<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMagician had been confined to the Brain Coral’s storage<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npool ever since the time of King Roogna; how could his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncurse on the Sorceress Tapis affect Ivy now? It must have<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndone all the damage it was going to, which was plenty. It<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas foolish to worry about it!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy stifled her foolishness. “I invoke you, Heaven<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCent,” she said firmly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen it happened.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 2. Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘rey woke and looked at the computer. Sud-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndenly he made a connection: the computer was doing it!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen he thought, no, that’s ridiculous, a machine<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncouldn’t do anything like that. Well, obviously it could,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut this was such a disreputable thing that it wouldn’t. He<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad cobbled it together from used components and gotten<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na friend who understood the guts of computing to make it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwork, knowing it was far from state-of-the-art, but it did<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntake care of his school papers. Sometimes weird messages<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshowed on the screen, like INCOMPATIBLE OPERATING SYS-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTEM or NONSTANDARD PERIPHERALS. What else was new?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nApparently his friend had set up something called CP\/<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDOS that everyone else said was impossible. He had put<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na Directory on User 99 that worked most of the time, so<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe stayed with it, and usually his papers came out pretty<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmuch the way he typed them in: mediocre. That was all<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe computer did, or could do.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut then he thought some more, and wasn’t sure. Be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncause there certainly seemed to be a connection. It had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstarted with that program, and the vacant apartment, and\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe sat up and held his head in his hands. He was sure<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe could manage to come to a conclusion if he worked at<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit. But after that date with Salmonella he felt so sick and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nweak that even thinking was almost too much of an effort.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n18<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>19<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill, he was sure he was onto something, if he could just<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwork it out before the revelation fled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey had come here to the city apartment because his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfolks couldn’t afford to board him at the college. City Col-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlege had to take any local resident who qualified, and its<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntuition was tax-supported low, so by renting this cheap<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nroom and living mostly on canned beans Grey was able to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsqueak by. He was not a great student, and he had no idea<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhat he might major in if he got that far, but his father<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsaid that he was stuck in this mundane world and if he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndidn’t make something of himself, no one else would do<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit for him. Since a college education was the way to start<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmaking something of himself, he was getting it, or trying<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe had thought life was dull. Now that he was taking<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFreshman English, he realized that he had greatly under-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nestimated the case. He was receiving a superlative edu-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncation in just how deadly dull education could be! His<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngrades were slipping slowly from C+ through C toward<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nC\u2014 and points south as his metaphorical hands lost their<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfingernail clutch on comprehension.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen he had received that program from Vaporware<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nLimited. The ad had been impressive: “Having trouble in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nschool? Let the Worm enliven your life! We promise ev-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nerything!” Indeed they did; they promised to improve his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngrades and his social life at one stroke. If anything was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nduller than his grades, it was his social life, so this really<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ninterested him. The problem was that not only was Grey<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstrictly average in mind, he was completely forgettable in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbody. His driver’s license listed his hair as “hair-colored”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand his eyes as “neutral.” He excelled at no sports, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad no clever repartee. As a result, girls found him pretty<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmuch invisible.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe knew it was foolish, but sometimes he was no world<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbeater on common sense either, so he hocked his watch<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand sent off the money for the program. Then, once the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmoney was safely gone, a classmate had told him what the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nterm “vaporware” meant: computer programs that were<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npromised but never delivered. He had been suckered again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPar for the course.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n20 Man from Mundania Man from Mundania 21<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the program had arrived. Suspecting it was merely<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na blank disk, he had put it in his floppy disk drive, in-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntending to read its directory. But suddenly the thing was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nloading itself onto his cut-rate hard disk. Then the screen<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncame alive:<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGREETINGS, MASTER.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, same to you. What\u2014?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI AM THE WORM, A SENDING FROM ONE WHO HAS AN<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nINTEREST IN YOU. I HAVE ENCHANTED YOUR COMPUTER. I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAM HERE TO SERVE YOUR NEEDS. ASK ME ANYTHING.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhat was this? None of his other programs operated<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthis way! “Uh, your ad said you promised everything and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould enliven my life.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTRUE. NAME THE ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE YOU WISH EN-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nLIVENED.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe hadn’t even typed in his remark! It was as if the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthing had heard him! “Uh, social. I mean, no girl\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWHAT GIRL DO YOU WISH?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAmazing! It really was responding to his spoken words!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s the problem! I really don’t know any girls, and\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCHOOSE FROM THE LIST: AGENDA, ALIMONY, ANOREXIA,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBEZOAR, BULIMIA, CONNIPTION\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Agenda!” Grey exclaimed, realizing that the machine<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncould go on listing forever. How could he tell anything<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrom a name, anyway? So the first one would do to test<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthis odd program’s bluff.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGO TO THE APARTMENT ACROSS THE HALL.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But that apartment’s empty!” Grey protested. “No<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\none’s rented it in ages!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe screen rippled in a manner reminiscent of a shrug.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, it printed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Look, I’ll show you!” Grey said. “It’s not even<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlocked, because it’s empty.” He went to his door, opened<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit, stepped across the hall, and opened the facing door.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA girl stood just inside the apartment. She was rather<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npretty, with her brown hair tied back with a neat ribbon<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand every button in place. “Oh\u2014are you the superinten-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndent?” she asked. “The stove doesn’t seem to\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey swallowed his surprise. He had had no idea that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nanyone was moving in! “Uh, there’s a switch in back<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat\u2014I’ll show you\u2014I’m not the superintendent, just the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nboy next door\u2014I mean\u2014” He stifled his confusion and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwalked to the stove and pushed the switch. “Now it’ll<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwork. They just didn’t want it going on by accident\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh thank you!” she exclaimed. “You are so helpful!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhat’s your name?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, Grey. Grey Murphy. I\u2014I go to City College,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, how nice! I’m going there too! I’m Agenda.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe goggled at her. “Agenda?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Agenda Andrews. How nice to find a friend so soon!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A friend?” He was still bemused by the coincidence<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof names. He had just chosen that one from the Worm’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlist!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Aren’t you?” she asked, looking cutely troubled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, oh, of course! The friendliest! I just\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why don’t we have lunch together? I’m sure you know<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nall the best local places.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was another pitfall. “Uh, sure, but\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Dutch, of course. I wouldn’t presume to impose\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt remained awkward. He was broke until his weekly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncheck arrived from home. “I, uh\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“On second thought, let’s eat in,” she said brightly. “I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhappen to have some things with me.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, I’ve got half a can of beans\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No need.” She bustled to the kitchen cupboard, which<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit seemed she had already stocked. “What would you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlike? I have Asparagus, bread, corn, doughnuts, eggplant,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfish\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, doughnuts are fine.” She had her shelf organized<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nalphabetically?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo it was that they had a nice meal of doughnuts. Before<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe knew it, he had a girlfriend, and she had his whole life<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\norganized, just about. It was great, for a few days, but<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthen it got on his nerves. Agenda did everything by the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnumber, or rather, by the alphabet. But Grey was a dis-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\norganized kind of guy. He didn’t like having his life run<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nby the clock and book.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was also apparent that Agenda’s arrangements were<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprogressive. First they had an informal meal together. Then<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n22<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthey had a formal one. Then they went on a date: a G-rated<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmovie, where they held hands. Then they kissed. Then<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe set an appointment for him to meet her parents.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe realized that he was on a well-organized treadmill<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto marriage and a completely mundane life. He liked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAgenda, but he wasn’t ready to make that commitment<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyet. He was trying to break the mundane traces, and that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould be impossible with her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Damn!” he muttered under his breath.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU HAVE A PROBLEM? the computer screen inquired.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe machine was always on, now; the first time he tried<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto turn it off after installing the Worm program, the screen<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad protested with such logic that he had backed off and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nleft it on. Grey was barely average in gumption too, it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nseemed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, yes,” he confessed. “I’ve got this girlfriend,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand she’s nice, but she’s so organized I can’t stand it, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnow\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU WISH TO HAVE A DIFFERENT GIRL?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, I hate to say it, but\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCHOOSE: ALIMONY, ANOREXIA, BEZOAR, BULIMIA, CA-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTHARTIC, CONNIPTION\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Anorexia!” he cut in. He knew better than to take up<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith a girl called Alimony! Of course the name might not<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmean anything, but why takes chances? Anorexia sounded<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlike a good name.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGO TO THE APARTMENT ACROSS THE HALL.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But that’s where Agenda is!” he protested. “If I go<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthere, I just know she’ll have things so organized that I’ll<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnever get away.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey sighed. He’d just have to show the machine!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe opened his door and crossed the hall. He knocked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non the door.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt opened. There stood a strange, thin girl.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh\u2014” Grey said, amazed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You don’t think I’m too fat, do you?” the girl inquired<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nanxiously. “I’m on a diet, but\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, no, you’re fine! Uh, I thought Agenda\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n23<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She moved out this morning. She said this place was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntoo disorganized, or something. I’m Anorexia Nervosa.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMoved out this morning? He had never suspected! What<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na coincidence! “I’m Grey. Uh, you don’t believe in orga-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnization?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, no, I’m very disorganized! No discipline at all. I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nkeep getting fat. You don’t think\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey took a solid look at her. She was coat hanger thin.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“If you were any thinner, you’d look like a boy,” he said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe laughed nervously. “Oh, you’re just saying that!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI’m so fat, I hate it! I thought if I lived alone, maybe I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncould reduce, and look pretty.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAs it turned out, this was no innocent ploy. Anorexia<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntruly believed she was fat, and continually dieted to make<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nherself thinner. It was awkward eating with her, because<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe barely pecked at her food, leaving most of it on the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplate though she looked as if she were starving. He tried<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto reassure her, but she simply would not believe she was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthin enough.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m afraid she’s going to keel over any moment from<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhunger!” Grey exclaimed in the privacy of his apartment.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then they’ll think that I’m somehow to blame.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU WISH A DIFFERENT GIRL?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I guess so.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCHOOSE: ALIMONY, BEZOAR, BULIMIA, CATHARTIC,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCHLAMYDIA, CONNIPTION\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No, no, wait!” Grey cried. He had done a smidgeon<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof research in the interim, because of his association with<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAnorexia, and so had a notion what to expect from Bu-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlimia, Bezoar, Conniption, or Cathartic.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDYSLEXIA, EMETIC, EMPHYSEMA, ENIGMA, EUPHORIA\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Dyslexia!” he cried, realizing that the computer would<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnot stop until he made a choice.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGO TO THE\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I know!” He opened his door, crossed the hall, and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nknocked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSure enough, a new girl was there. She was a blue-eyed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nblonde, and looked neither fat nor thin. “Oh, you must<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbe the nice young man across the hall!” she exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Anorexia told me\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n24<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n25<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, yes. Uh, you don’t have any hang-ups about eat-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning, do you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe blinked in cute surprise. “Why no. Should I?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDyslexia seemed like the perfect girl. Then he discov-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nered that she couldn’t read. There was something wrong<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith her eyes or with her brain, so that she saw things<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbackwards or upside down. She had managed to finesse<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher way through classes, for she was bright enough and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad good legs, but it was a chore to get through a written<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhomework assignment. He had to read the material to her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand correct her odd errors of writing. This soon became<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntedious.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU HAVE A PROBLEM?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere was the Worm again! “I like her, but\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe screen printed the list of names. Grey knew better<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthan to choose Emetic or Euthanasia, and wasn’t sure about<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nEnigma, so he chose Euphoria.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nEuphoria was luscious. Her black hair swirled down<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\naround her cleavage like a living thing, and her eyes were<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhypnotically intense. She was extremely friendly, too. But<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nvery soon he discovered what she was into. “But I don’t,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nuh, do the drug scene!” he protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Try it, you’ll like it,” she urged, proffering a cigarette<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nof strange design. “This stuff will send you to the moon<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand stars, and you will float for eternity!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was exactly what he was afraid of. He fled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU HAVE A PROBLEM?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe tried one more time, passing over Melanoma, Mi-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nasma, Treblinka, and Polyploidy in favor of one that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsounded safe: Salmonella. That turned out to be a mis-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntake. Sal was a great cook, but the food turned out to be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncontaminated.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow, waking weak and bleary, he had finally caught<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non: “Worm, you’re doing it deliberately! You are offering<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nme only treacherous girls!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI AM NOT WORM. THAT WAS ONLY THE INSTALLATION<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“All right, already! So I’ll call you Sending! Now why<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nare you finding me only girls who are trouble?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Every one of them has something wrong with her! If<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou can’t do better than that, I don’t want any! All that’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhappened has been a lot of heartache and my grades de-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nscending to D +! Let’s give up on girls and concentrate on<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nscholastics.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTRY ONE MORE GIRL.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No! I’m through with women! I want to make good<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngrades and be something in the world!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTRY ONE MORE GIRL.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo it was that way. He could not out argue the com-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nputer; it only repeated itself indefinitely. “All right: one<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmore girl. And when that one messes up, it’s grades.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCHOOSE\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No you don’t! All those names are pied! I don’t care<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nabout the name! Just find me a good girl, one I can be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith and\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAGREED.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No tricks, now, or the deal’s off! Any little pretext and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI’ll dump her! You got that, Worm\u20141 mean, Sending?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGO TO THE APARTMENT ACROSS THE HALL.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“All right! One more time!” Because, after all, he did<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nneed a girl. Without one, he would be reduced to having<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto do his homework, which was a fate only half a smid-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngeon this side of oblivion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrumpily, still in his rumpled pajamas though he saw<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nby the bleary clock on the hall wall that it was nearly<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnoon, he knocked on the apartment door.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe door cracked open and a blue eye peered out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re not a monster, are you?” she inquired.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey had to smile. “Well, I do feel like one at the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmoment, but as far as I know, that’s temporary. Who are<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe opened the door wider, reassured. “Oh, good, a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhuman person! I was afraid that in this horror house it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould be much worse. I’m Ivy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m Grey. Are you a normal girl?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow she laughed. “Of course not! I’m a princess!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n26 Man from Mundania Man from Mundania 27<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWell, she had a sense of humor! Despite his best inten-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntion, he liked her. Maybe the Sending really was playing<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit straight this time.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy invited him in, and they talked. She seemed just as<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\neager to know about him and his situation as he was to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nknow about her. Soon he was telling her all about his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndreary life, which somehow seemed much less dull when<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe was listening. Ivy was an attractive girl about a year<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhis junior, with blue eyes and fair hair that sometimes<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreflected with a greenish tint, evidently picking up what-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\never color was near her. She had been frightened at first<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut now was relaxed, and was a fun person to be with.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut there were some definitely odd things about her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor one thing, she seemed quite unfamiliar with this city,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nor indeed, this country, perhaps even this world. He had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto show her how the stove worked and even how to open<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na can of peas. “What funny magic!” she exclaimed,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwatching the electric can opener.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor it seemed that she believed in magic. She claimed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto be from a magic land called Xanth, spelled with an X,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere she was a princess and pies grew on trees. So did<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshoes and pillows. Monsters roamed the jungles, and she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\neven had a pet dragon called Stanley Steamer.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe was obviously suffering delusions. Sending had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmousetrapped him again. But by the time he was sure of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthis, it was too late: he liked Ivy too well to let her go.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe was a great girl, apart from her dreamland. Since her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndelusion was harmless, he decided to tolerate it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut there were hurdles. One came when she realized<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat he was not teasing her about his situation. Her face<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nclouded with horror. “You mean, this isn’t a setting in the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngourd? This really is Mundania?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was a quaint way of putting it! “That’s right. Mun-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndania. No magic.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, this is worse than I ever dreamed!” she ex-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nclaimed. “Drear Mundania!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe had that right! His life had been about as drear as<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit could get\u2014until she came into it. “But what are you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndoing here if you didn’t know you were coming?” he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nasked. For the sake of compatibility, he did not debate her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nXanth delusion; he would find out where she really was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrom, eventually. The truth was, he rather liked her dream<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nrealm; it had a special quality of appeal. Pies growing on<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntrees\u2014that certainly sounded better than canned beans!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I used the Heaven Cent,” she explained matter-of-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfactly. She lifted a common old style penny she wore on<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na chain around her neck. “It was supposed to take me<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere I was most needed, which is where the Good Ma-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngician is lost. But the curse must have\u2014oh, no!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was catching on to the rules of her magic land. “You<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmean it would have taken you there, but a curse made it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngo wrong? So you’re stuck where you shouldn’t be?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes,” she said tragically, near tears. “Oh, how am I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto get out of this? There’s no magic in Mundania!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s for sure.” Yet somehow he wanted to help her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto return to that magic land, even though he knew it wasn’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreal. Her belief was so firm, so touching!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, Grey, you’ve got to help me get back to Xanth!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhat could he say? “I’ll dowhat I can.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe flung her arms around him and kissed him. She was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nan expressive girl. He knew she was suffering from a per-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nvasive delusion, and that sooner or later the authorities<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould pick her up and return her to whatever institution<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe had escaped from, but he also knew that he liked her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat made his dilemma worse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey did what he could. He took Ivy to the college<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlibrary and looked up Xanth. It turned out to be a prefix,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“xantho,” meaning “yellow,” that connected to various<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nterms. Ivy said that wasn’t what she wanted. The library<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas a loss.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen, on the way back to the apartment building. Ivy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nspied something in a store window. “There’s Xanth!” she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nexclaimed, pointing.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey looked. It was a paperback book. On it was a star<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nproclaiming “A New Xanth Novel!” Did Ivy think she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncame from this book?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“There’s Chex!” she continued.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Chex?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n28 Man from Mundania Man from Mundania 29<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The winged centaur. She’s actually four years younger<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthan me, but she seems older because her sire’s Xap the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhippogryph, and monsters mature faster than human folk,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nso she matured halfway faster than I did, and she’s married<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnow and has a foal, Che. And there’s Volney Vole, who<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncan’t say his esses, only he thinks we’re the ones who have<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit wrong. And\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This book\u2014it really describes where you think you’re<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrom?” he demanded incredulously.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe faced him, baffled. “Where I think I’m from?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This book\u2014it’s fantasy!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Of course! Don’t you believe me?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDamn! He had his foot in it now! Why hadn’t he thought<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto avoid the issue? “I believe\u2014you think you’re from<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthere,” he said carefully.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am from Xanth!” she retorted. “Look in the book!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI’m in there, I know!” But she was perilously close to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntears.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey wavered. Should he get the book and check? But<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nif she was in it, what would it prove? Simply that she had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nread the book and made it the focus of her delusion. Be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsides, he remained broke.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, I’m sure you’re right,” he said. “I don’t need to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlook in the book. ‘<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat was a half truth, but it mollified her. They contin-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nued walking back to the apartment building.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey’s mind was seething with thoughts. Now he knew<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere Ivy thought she was from, but he didn’t know<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhether to be relieved or alarmed. It wasn’t a land of her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nown invention\u2014but was it any better as a land someone<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nelse had invented? The delusion was the same. Still, it did<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\noffer some insight into her framework; if he got the book<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand read it, he would at least be able to relate to the things<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe did.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill, he wished that she had a better notion of the dis-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntinction between fantasy and reality. She was such a nice<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngirl in other respects, the perfect girl, really, and he could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreally like her a lot, if only\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCould like her a lot? He already did! Which made it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat much worse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn the hallway she stopped. “This can’t be Mundania!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Where else would it be?” he asked warily.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Because we can understand each other!” she said ex-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncitedly. “We speak the same language!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, sure, but\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Mundanes speak gibberish! They can’t be understood<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nat all, unless there is magic to translate what they say into<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreal speech. But you are perfectly intelligible!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I should hope so.” Was this the beginning of a break-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthrough? Was she coming to terms with reality? “What<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlanguage do they speak in Xanth?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, it’s the language. The human language, I mean.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAll human folk speak it, just as all dragon folk speak Dra-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngonese, and all trees speak tree-talk. Grundy Golem can<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntalk to any of them, and my little brother Dolph when he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbecomes one, but the rest of us can’t, because our talents<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nare different. Not that it matters much, usually, because<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nall the partbreeds speak human too, like the centaurs and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nharpies and naga, and those are mostly whom we deal<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith. But the Mundanes are sort of crazy; they speak all<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndifferent languages and can’t even understand each other<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na lot of the time; it’s as if each group of them is a different<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nanimal species. Only in Xanth do they speak the human<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlanguage. So this has to be an aspect of Xanth. You almost<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad me fooled!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nJust when he thought she was getting better, she got<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nworse! But because he liked her, and knew how sensitive<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe was to criticism, he spoke cautiously. “How do you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nknow that you aren’t speaking Mundanian? I mean, that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmaybe this is Mundania, and you can speak our language<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhen you really want to?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy considered. Then she shook her head. “No, that’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nimpossible. I’ve never been to Mundania, so I’ve had no<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nway to learn its language. So this has to be an aspect of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nXanth. What a relief!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But if this is Xanth, then everything I’ve known all<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmy life is a delusion!” Grey said, hoping to shock her into<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsome awareness of the problem.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I know,” she said sympathetically. “You’re such a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n30<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMgn from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n31<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnice man, I hate to have it be like this, but you will have<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto face the truth sometime. I’ll do my best to help you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey opened his mouth, but closed it again, baffled. She<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad the situation reversed! How was he ever going to get<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthrough to her?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Let me think about it,” she said. “First I’ll figure out<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na way to convince you. Then we can go look for the Good<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMagician, who must be somewhere near here. Then we<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncan guide him home, and the Quest will finally be done.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe expected to convince him! Well, maybe that was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbest, after all; when she realized that she couldn’t con-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nvince him, maybe he would be able to convince her.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe next several days were indecisive. Grey’s check<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncame, and he paid his rent and bought more cans of beans,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand, against his better judgment, that copy of the Xanth<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnovel Ivy had remarked on together with its sequel. He<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nstayed up late to read it, though he knew he should either<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbe doing his homework or sleeping.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was a story of three unlikely travelers who sought to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nrid a valley of demons. Sure enough. Ivy was there\u2014but<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe was only ten years old! So it could hardly be the same<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngirl.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe glanced at the sequel. There Ivy was fourteen. Well,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nif this was about three years later, she could be the same<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\none! This was the story of her little brother’s Quest for the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmissing Good Magician. But first he had to finish reading<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe first novel.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe fell asleep over the book and dreamed of Xanth. He<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas hungry, so instead of opening a can of beans he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplucked a fresh pie from a pie tree. Suddenly he liked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nXanth very well, for he was long since sick of beans.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe woke, and wondered wouldn’t it be nice if there<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreally could be such a magic land! No more beans, no<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmore Freshman English, no more bare cheap apartment!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nJust warmth and fun and free pies! And Ivy!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHis eye saw the computer screen. The computer was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non, but the screen was dark; it dimmed itself after half an<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhour if left alone, so as not to wear itself out. On impulse<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe rose and went to it. “Does Xanth exist?” he asked it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe screen brightened, i THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER ASK! YES.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I mean, as a real place, not just something in a fantasy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnovel?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTHAT DEPENDS.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis was interesting! “Depends on what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nON WHETHER YOU BELIEVE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOh. “You mean, it exists for Ivy and not for me, be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncause she believes in it and I don’t?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYES.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey sighed. “So anything that anybody believes in,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nexists for that person? That’s not much help.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTOUGH.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Are you sassing me, you dumb machine? I ought to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nturn you off!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDO NOT DO THAT, the screen printed quickly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Grey, miffed, reached out to push the On\/Off switch.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU’LL BE SOR<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the screen went dark as he completed his motion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt was done. He had been foolish to leave it on so long.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe returned to his bed and went to sleep almost im-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmediately. This time he dreamed of Ivy, whom he was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncoming to like very well indeed, despite all logic.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn the morning he got up, dressed, and stepped out to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nknock on Ivy’s door. They had been having breakfasts to-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngether, and other meals too, because they got along so well.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nApparently the first girl, Agenda, had left a good deal of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfood on the shelves, and Ivy was using what remained of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat. Whatever it was, it was better than more beans!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy opened the door, and smiled when she saw him,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngesturing him inside. Her hair was mussed, but she seemed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprettier than ever to him. She was neither voluptuous in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe manner of Euphoria, nor skinny in the manner of An-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\norexia; for his taste she was just right.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, I was reading that Xanth book last night,” he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbegan as he stepped in. “It\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe broke off, for she was staring at him. “Europe tal-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncum giddiness!” she exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n32 Man from Mundania Man from Mundania 33<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Icon nut United States ewer tale!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey gaped. Had she gone entirely crazy? Or was it a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\njoke? “Uh\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe looked at him, comprehension coming. “Yukon<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntundra stammer eater?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I can’t understand you either,” he agreed. Then did a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndoubletake. He had understood her\u2014in a way!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Mafia theist Monday error!” she exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey shook his head; she had lost him again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Buttery cookie unstable yodel fourteen?” she demanded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t know\u2014I just don’t know! Something happened,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand suddenly we can’t communicate. It’s almost as if a trans-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlator were turned off\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe did a second double take. Turned off? Could his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncomputer have anything to do with this?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Pardon me,” he said, and hurried back to his room.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe turned on the computer. It took a few seconds to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwarm up; then the screen lighted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nRY, it concluded. He remembered: it had been in the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprocess of telling him he’d be sorry.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Is this your mischief. Sending?” he demanded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI TOLD YOU NOT TO TURN ME OFF. THE MISCHIEF IS<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOURS.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘ ‘That’s Com-Pewter!” Ivy exclaimed at the door.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You know this machine?” Grey asked. Then: “You’re<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntalking my language again!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re not talking gibberish anymore!” she agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I can understand you again!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s this about the computer?” he asked. “Do you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nknow about computers?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Com-Pewter is an evil conniving machine,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“He rewrites reality to suit himself. If you’re in his<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nclutches\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m not in anyone’s clutches!” Then he reconsidered. That<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nchain of girls, starting with Agenda and ending with Ivy her-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nself\u2014the Sending program had been responsible! When he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nturned it off, he could no longer talk with Ivy. Obviously there<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas a connection. “We’d better talk,” he said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes,” she agreed quickly. “But not here!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not while this thing is listening!” he said. He reached<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto turn it off, but hesitated. They couldn’t talk, if they<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nspoke gibberish to each other!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo he left the computer on, and went to her room. Ob-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nviously that wasn’t beyond the machine’s range, because<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nits translation still worked, but maybe it couldn’t actually<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\neavesdrop on what they were saying.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now I’m not sure where we are,” Ivy said. “If this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nis Mundania, we shouldn’t be able to understand each<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nother, and that happened for a while, but magic doesn’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwork in Mundania either, and it takes magic to make<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMundane speech intelligible. So if there’s magic\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I have this funny program,” Grey said. “It talks to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nme without my having to type in\u2014well, anyway, I don’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthink it’s magic, but\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Program?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s a set of instructions for the computer. It’s called<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSending, and it\u2014well, that computer hasn’t been the same<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsince. It does things it never did before, couldn’t do be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfore, and it seems, well, alive. It\u20141, uh, wanted a girl-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfriend, and\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And it brought me?” she asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nFor a moment he feared she was offended, but then she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsmiled. “It brought you,” he agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it was the Heaven Cent that brought me here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe the computer knew you were coming.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe. But Com-Pewter doesn’t hesitate to rewrite<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nevents to his purpose. Are you sure the Good Magician<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nisn’t here?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This is Mundania! No magicians here.” But then he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nremembered Sending, and wasn’t sure.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Humfrey could be here, but then he couldn’t do magic.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe would look like a small, gnomelike old man. His wife’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntall and\u2014” She made motions with her hands.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Statuesque?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And his son Hugo, my friend\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey felt a shiver, not pleasant. “Your friend?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘ ‘From childhood. We were great companions. But we were<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nalready growing apart, and for the last seven years I haven’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n34<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n35<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nseen him at all, of course. But I’m sure none of them are<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhappy, if they’re stuck in Mundania. So if they are here\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I haven’t seen any people like that. But of course I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndon’t know many people in the city.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Either they are here and that’s why the Heaven Cent<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbrought me here and the magic’s working, or they aren’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhere and Murphy’s curse sent me awry and it’s another<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npicklement.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What kind of curse?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Magician Murphy made a curse a long time ago, and we<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndon’t knew whether it sdll has effect. But if it does, it could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhave sent me to the wrong place, and this could be Mundania.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My name is Murphy,” Grey said. “My father is Ma-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\njor Murphy, and I’m Grey Murphy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe stared at him with a peculiar intensity. Then she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshook her head. “No, it couldn’t be. Magician Murphy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlived almost nine hundred years ago.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe Murphy’s curse sent you to the nearest Mur-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nphy,” he said jokingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut she took it seriously. “Yes, that could be. It could<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbe the last gasp of the curse. So it’s not coincidence, but<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit’s not where I was supposed to go either. I was supposed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto go where I was most needed.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I thought you were supposed to go where the Good<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMagician was.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘ ‘Yes. We assumed that was where I was most needed,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbecause of his message.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Skeleton Key to Heaven Cent,” Grey said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy jumped. “How did you know that?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I, uh, got that book. It says\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, of course. The Muse has them, but someone<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsneaks them out to Mundania every so often. It’s a bad<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbusiness, but they can’t seem to fix the leak. Anyway,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDolph found the Skeleton Key\u2014that turned out to be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrace’1 Ossein\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Who?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I thought you read the book.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not that far, I guess. I fell asleep. But I did leam how<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe Good Magician disappeared.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Grace’1 is a walking skeleton. She’s very nice.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, like Marrow Bones.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes. So she was the Skeleton Key, and she helped get<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe Heaven Cent. So it seems natural that this was how<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe Good Magician wanted us to find him. But if the curse<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndiverted me to a Murphy instead of to Humfrey\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe the Heaven Cent worked properly, only the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGood Magician wasn’t the one who needed you most.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHer eyes widened. “What?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey gulped. “I uh, really needed someone like you. I<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmean\u2014” He faltered, embarrassed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But you don’t believe in magic!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I wish I did!” he exclaimed fervently. “I wish\u2014I wish<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI could believe in whatever you believe in, so I could be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwherever you are, and\u2014” But he couldn’t continue, be-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncause he knew he was making even more of a fool of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhimself than usual.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You needed me,” Ivy said, musingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I guess I’d better go now.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You don’t believe in Xanth, so you don’t believe I’m<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na princess or that I have any magic,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I do believe in you!” he cried desperately.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe gazed at him with a new expression, appraisingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So it really doesn’t make any difference to you whether<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI’m royal or common, or magic or not.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I wish it did! Oh, Ivy, I think you’re such a wonderful<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ngirl, if only it wasn’t for this\u2014this\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Delusion,” she concluded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I didn’t say that!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it’s true.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat he could not deny. He made a supremely awkward<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nretreat to his room. If only he could have found some way<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto express his feeling without messing up!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe computer screen lighted as he entered. YOU HAVE<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA PROBLEM?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Stay out of this!” he snapped, and struck the On\/Off<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nswitch viciously, shutting it down. Then, unable to con-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncentrate on anything else, he sat on the bed and resumed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nreading the novel.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>37<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChapter 3. Signs<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI vy sat and thought for some time. She had been<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nso sure that this was an aspect of Xanth, perhaps a setting<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nin the gourd, and that Grey was an accomplice in the de-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nception. The only question was whether it was witting or<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nunwitting. He seemed so nice, but of course that could be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\npart of the challenge. She had to figure out where she was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nso she could reach the Good Magician. After all, if this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nplace was so devious that not even Humfrey, who knew<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\neverything, could find his way out, it surely would not be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\neasy for her either. So she knew that nothing might be as<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit seemed, and she had to question everything. Something<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwanted her to believe this was Mundania, but that business<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nabout the language had given it away. She had known it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas really Xanth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen the language had stopped. Was this another trick,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto deceive her by patching up the prior oversight? Grey<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad seemed genuinely confused\u2014but again, if he was set<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nup to play a part, he might really believe this was Mun-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndania. She had tested him by trying to use her talent to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nenhance him, so that he would become more obviously<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhatever he was and show his real nature; but there hadn’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nseemed to be any effect. In fact, her magic seemed inop-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nerative. Even her magic mirror didn’t work; it just showed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nher reflection, her hair so pale that no one would know it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u2022*\u00a3.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas supposed to have a green hue. It would be easy to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbelieve this really was Mundania, except for the language.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen she had seen Com-Pewter. Suddenly things had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfallen into place! Obviously Pewter couldn’t operate in<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMundania, because only magic animated him. The strang-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nest thing, though, was the fact that Grey could turn Pewter<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\noff. That meant that Grey had power over Pewter, and that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas mind-boggling.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen she had learned how Grey saw it\u2014that a magic<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndisk had come in to animate Pewter\u2014and realized that this<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmight actually be Mundania. After all, some bits of magic<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndid operate in Mundania, such as rainbows, and Centaur<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAmolde had been able to carry an aisle of magic there.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMaybe that disk had come from Xanth, sent by Com-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPewter, and made the Mundane machine turn magic. Then<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit had used its magic to enable Ivy to talk clearly in Mun-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndania, or to make Mundane speech intelligible to her, or<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nboth. When it had been shut off, that had stopped, and the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfull reality of drear Mundania had manifested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat seemed to make more sense than anything else.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Grey had not changed at all when the machine was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\noff; he was independent of it and seemed just as confused<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nas she had been. So maybe it was foolish, but she believed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat Grey really was what he seemed to be: a nice young<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nman.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut there had been any number of nice men, not all of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthem young, who had played up to her in Xanth. She knew<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhy: because she was a princess. Any man would like to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmarry a princess, even if she never got to be King of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nXanth. So she had never trusted that. She had wanted,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nperhaps foolishly, to be liked for herself alone, not for her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nposition or her Sorceress magic or the power of her father.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThus her romantic life had been scant, in sharp contrast<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto that of her little brother. She liked Nada so well that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe had entertained more than a whimsical notion of pay-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning a call on Nada’s big brother, Naldo, who was surely a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfine figure of a prince. But if Dolph married Nada when<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe came of age, it would not be expedient for her to marry<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNada’s brother, so she had not followed up on that.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow, suddenly, she had discovered that Grey really did<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n38<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n39<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlike her for herself, because he thought her magic and her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nposition were part of a delusion. Thus everything she had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntold him had counted against her, in Grey’s estimation\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyet he obviously liked her very well. Her mother, Irene,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad long since taught her the signals of male interest and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndeception. Her mother really did not quite trust men; her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndictum was “Never let a man get the upper hand\u2014there’s<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nno telling where he might put it.” Ivy had known that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nfrom the time she was two, and kept it in mind. But poor<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey obviously had no notion of upper hands; he couldn’t<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsay anything to a girl without somehow bumbling it. That<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwas one of his endearing qualities.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Grey had beaten a confused retreat, and she had<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto decide what to do. If this really was Mundania, with<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nno magic except for that Com-Pewter extension, and the<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGood Magician wasn’t here, she would just have to extri-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncate herself from the foul-up that Magician Murphy’s curse<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad made. Imagine: getting sent to a Murphy instead of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHumfrey! She would have to find her way back to Xanth<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwith the Heaven Cent, so that Electra could recharge it<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand they could try again, this time without the curse. But<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhow could she do that?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe knew the answer: Dolph had learned of a secret<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nway into Xanth that bypassed the usual barrier. It went<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthrough the gourd. It was in Centaur Isle, or the Mundane<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nequivalent. She just had to get there and go through.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut how could she get through Mundania, when she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncouldn’t even speak its language? For now she knew that<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe moment she left the vicinity of the local Com-Pewter,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthe gibberish would resume. She had no Mundane money,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhich she knew was necessary, because here things did<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnot grow on trees. Well, she had the cent\u2014but she cer-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ntainly wasn’t going to use that for money!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe would have to have help. That meant Grey\u2014if he<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwould do it. Well, she would just have to ask him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe stood, adjusting her blouse and skirt. This Mun-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndane clothing wasn’t as good as Xanth clothing; it chafed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand wore. But it had to do. She was just lucky that Agenda<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhad been about her own size!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe went to the door and out and across, and knocked<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\non Grey’s door. In a moment he answered.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Grey, I need to ask you\u2014” she began.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Xbju\u2014xfsfjoup hjccfsjti bhbjo!” he exclaimed, turn-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ning away.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOh. He must have turned off the Pewter device again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe would have to turn it on again before they could con-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nverse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nEven as she realized that, she had a notion. “Wait!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshe said, catching his arm. For there was a point she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwanted to make while Pewter wasn’t watching.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe paused. “Xibu?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe smiled, turning him gently around to face her<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsquarely. Then she leaned forward and kissed him, not<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhard.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe drew back. He stood as if stunned. “Zpv’sf opu<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnbe bu nf?” he asked, amazed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s all right. Grey,” she said, smiling. Then she in-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndicated Pewter.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDazedly, he walked to the machine and touched the but-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nton that turned him on. In a moment the screen came to<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlife.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIF YOU PERSIST IN THIS FOOLISHNESS\u2014the screen<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nprinted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, you aggravated me,” Grey retorted. “But now<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI need to talk to Ivy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOF COURSE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey made as if to return to her room, but Ivy held up<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\na hand in negation. “It’s all right if Pewter listens,” she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsaid. “I’ll need to talk to him in a moment anyway.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNATURALLY, the screen said smugly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe faced Grey. “I believe I am in Mundania,” she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsaid. “I need to return to Xanth. Will you help me?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But you don’t believe in Xanth,” she said. “But would<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou believe if I showed you Xanth?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You see, I think I know how to get there. But I need<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhelp. If you will come with me, and talk to people when<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI can’t\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n40<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMan from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n41<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, of course,” he agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe faced the screen. “Com-Pewter, you knew I was<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ncoming, didn’t you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYES.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And you know where I’m from.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYES.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Will you tell Grey where I’m from?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYES.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh, you have to tell it,” Grey said. “It takes things<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nliterally.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Tell him,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPRINCESS IVY IS FROM XANTH.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey stared. “You say that? But how can a machine<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbelieve in fantasy?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWHEN IT IS TRUE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You see, we could have asked him all along,” Ivy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsaid. “Pewter, why am I here?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGREY NEEDS YOU MOST.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But what about Good Magician Humfrey?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI KNOW NOTHING OF HIM.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo it was the curse! She hadn’t been sent to Humfrey,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbut to the Mundane most in need of her company. Yet a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nmystery remained. “Pewter, why are you here?” she<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nasked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTO FACILITATE YOUR ENCOUNTER.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But you don’t care anything about me!” she protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIRRELEVANT STATEMENT.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSo Pewter wasn’t telling. She wasn’t surprised. She con-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsidered herself lucky that he had cooperated to this extent.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe turned again to Grey. “If you will help me, I will<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nshow you Xanth,” she said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey evidently remained bemused by Pewter’s endorse-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nment of her origin. He might not believe, yet, but at least<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhe was having more trouble disbelieving. That was prog-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nress of a sort. “I’ll, uh, help you if I can.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You will have to guide me to No Name Key.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“To what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA KEY SOUTH OF FLORIDA, the screen said helpfully.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But that’s far away from here! How\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHITCHHIKE.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But my classes! I can’t skip\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nCHOOSE: IVY OR FRESHMAN ENGLISH.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey was taken aback. “Well, if you put it that way\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOU HAVE VIRTUALLY NO APTITUDE FOR SCHOLARSHIP.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey became suspicious. “You act as if you want me<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nlogo!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYES. THEN MY ASSIGNMENT WILL BE COMPLETED.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy, too, was suspicious. “What is your assignment?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nTO GET GREY MURPHY INTO XANTH.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey shook his head. “I don’t believe this!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nYOUR BELIEF IS IRRELEVANT. TURN ME OFF WHEN YOU<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDEPART.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This is absolutely crazy!” Grey exclaimed. “My com-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nputer wants me to go into a delusion!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You understand,” Ivy reminded him, “we won’t be<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nable to talk intelligibly to each other until we get to Xanth.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nI will have to keep my mouth shut in Mundania.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But we can’t go, just like that! My father\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Look at it this way,” Ivy said. “If we don’t find Xanth,<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nyou can come back here in a few days, and Pewter will<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhave to help you pass all your classes, so your father<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndoesn’t find out and turn him off forever. But if we do find<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nXanth\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey got his wits about him. “Let’s say, for the sake of<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nnonsensical argument, that we find it and you go there\u2014<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwhere does that leave me? Alone again, and far from<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhome, and in trouble when I get home!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re welcome to come into Xanth with me,” Ivy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nsaid. “I thought that was understood. But I assumed you<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwouldn’t want to.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I, uh, if you go there, I want to go there too. Even if<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nit is crazy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIvy smiled. “You might like it\u2014even if it is crazy.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey shrugged, defeated. “When do we start?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now,” Ivy said, delighted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now? But\u2014”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNOW, the screen said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGrey tried to marshal another protest, but Ivy smiled at<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nhim, and he melted. She had seen Nada stifle Dolph sim-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n42\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Man from Mundania<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nilarly; it was nice to know that such magic worked, even<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nin Mundania.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now,” Grey agreed weakly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey delayed only long enough to pack some clothes<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nand food, because neither grew on trees in drear Mun-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\ndania. Then they set off.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHitchhiking turned out to be a special kind of magic: a<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nperson put out one thumb, and it caused the moving ob-<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\njects called cars to stop. Some of them, anyway. Cars<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nturned out to be hollow inside, with comfortable seats and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nbelts to hold the people down in case they bounced out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nEach one had at least one person riding in it, and seemed<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nto go more or less where that person wanted. But there<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nwere obstacles: glowing lights hung above the car path and<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nflashed bright red the moment any car approached. Then<\/span>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Read the full book by downloading it below.<\/p>\n

DOWNLOAD EPUB<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Book Preview MAN FROM MUNDANIA\u00a0 –\u00a0 XANTH 12 \u00a0 Chapter 1. Heaven Cent \u00a0 \u00a0 \u2022vy woke, stretched, and opened her eyes. It was dawn; the sun had not yet quite dared show its round face, because darkness made it nervous, but soon it would get up its nerve. She looked at the Tapestry, with … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":382,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21],"class_list":["post-383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-piers-anthony"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=383"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/382"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}