{"id":395,"date":"2026-01-03T20:37:10","date_gmt":"2026-01-03T20:37:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/piers-anthony-xanth-18-geis-of-the-gargoyle-anthony-piers\/"},"modified":"2026-01-03T20:37:10","modified_gmt":"2026-01-03T20:37:10","slug":"piers-anthony-xanth-18-geis-of-the-gargoyle-anthony-piers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/piers-anthony-xanth-18-geis-of-the-gargoyle-anthony-piers\/","title":{"rendered":"Piers, Anthony – Xanth 18 – Geis of the Gargoyle – Anthony, Piers"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Book Preview<\/h3>\n
\n

\n
\n
\n\u00a0<\/span>
\n<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGeis of the Gargoyle <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBook 18 in the Xanth Series<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPiers Anthony<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n1<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGARY GAR<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe demoness formed into smoke, and then into an insidiously lovely (if you like that type) humanstyle woman.\u00a0 <\/span>Her face was unutterably fair, her hair flowed like honey, her bosom was so full and well-formed that it was probably sinful just to look at it, and the rest of her was moreso.\u00a0 <\/span>But there was something odd about her apparel.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe eyed the creature sitting in the dry riverbed, who was about as opposite from her as it was possible to be.\u00a0 <\/span>“My, you’re an ugly customer,” she remarked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Thank you,” the thing replied gruffly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You can speak!” she said, surprised.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Only when I make the effort.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe walked around it.\u00a0 <\/span>Her dainty delicate feet did not quite touch the ground, but the ground here was so scabbed and messy that this was just as well.\u00a0 <\/span>She peered closely at every detail.\u00a0 <\/span>“You have a face like a cross between a lion and an ape, with the worst features of each, and with an extremely big mouth formed into a perpetual 0.\u00a0 <\/span>You have a grotesque compact body with an inane tail and four big clumsy feet.\u00a0 <\/span>And you have a pair of really ugly stumpy leathery wings.\u00a0 <\/span>Overall I can’t imagine a worse-looking creature.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Thank you.\u00a0 <\/span>You, in contrast, are unconscionably aesthetic.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m what?” she asked, frowning.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Disgustingly pretty.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh.\u00a0 <\/span>Thank you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My statement was not a compliment.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, neither was mine! I have just three questions to ask of you, monster.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then will you go away?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe shook a fine firm finger.\u00a0 <\/span>“Answer mine, then I’ll answer yours, you refugee from a horror house.\u00a0 <\/span>What are you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am a gargoyle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Who are you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Gary Gar.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And what are you doing, Gary Gargoyle?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am performing according to my geis.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s a gaysh?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Forget it, demoness! You promised to answer mine after three of yours.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe frowned prettily.\u00a0 <\/span>“Very well, Gary Garble.\u00a0 <\/span>Ask your stupid question.” A large mug appeared in her hand.\u00a0 <\/span>“Would you like a drink from Ein Stein first?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s tha-” he started to ask, but caught himself almost barely in time.\u00a0 <\/span>She was trying to trick him into wasting his stupid question.\u00a0 <\/span>“No.\u00a0 <\/span>I don’t know what that is, so I won’t risk it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘Too bad,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>“One drink from this would have made you Xanth’s smartest creature, capable of concluding that Eeee equals Emcee squared.” The mug disappeared.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I can live without that Conclusion,” he said.\u00a0 <\/span>“Who are you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe fidgeted, beginning to lose definition.\u00a0 <\/span>“That’s awkward to answer.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, make the effort, smokeface.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHer features reformed, lovelier than before.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’m D.\u00a0 <\/span>Mentia, but that’s only a half-truth.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s the other half of the truth?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m the alter ego of the Demoness Metria.\u00a0 <\/span>She did something disgusting, so I’m sailing out on my own.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What did she do?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She got married, got half a soul, and fell in love, in that order.\u00a0 <\/span>Now she’s so nice I can’t stand her.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Do demons marry?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Forget it, gargle.\u00a0 <\/span>I answered three already.\u00a0 <\/span>Now it’s my turn again.\u00a0 <\/span>What’s a gaysh?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A misspelling of geis.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How can you tell it’s misspelled when I’m speaking it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am long familiar with the word.\u00a0 <\/span>You’re pronouncing it as it sounds.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe grimaced.\u00a0 <\/span>“Sorry about that.\u00a0 <\/span>So what is it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“An obligation of honor.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What does an ugly character like you know about a fair concept like honor?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s your fourth question.\u00a0 <\/span>Mine first: Why are you wearing a skirt upside and a blouse downside?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMentia glanced down at herself.\u00a0 <\/span>The clothing faded out, leaving a body so barely luscious that any ordinary man who spied it would freak out in half a moment.\u00a0 <\/span>‘That’s hard to explain.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Make another effort, bareface,” Gary said, looking slightly bored though her face was the least of her bareness.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, my better nature-that is, D.\u00a0 <\/span>Metria-has a certain problem with words.\u00a0 <\/span>For example she would say you really don’t look properly volant, and you would say-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Properly what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And she would say feathers, uplift, flapping, sky, winging-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Flightworthy?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And she would say Whatever, crossly.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s what volant means?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Uh-uh, Garfield.\u00a0 <\/span>I answered three.\u00a0 <\/span>What’s this about honor?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary sighed.\u00a0 <\/span>It was a good effort, because his stone body was mostly hollow.\u00a0 <\/span>“From time vaguely memorial on, my family of gargoyles has been in charge of this river, the Swan Knee, which flows from drear Mundania into Xanth, as you can see.” He gestured with a wing.\u00a0 <\/span>Sure enough, to the north the dry channel wound unhappily through truly dreary terrain.\u00a0 <\/span>The line where the magic of Xanth took effect was marked by increasingly magical vegetation, such as shoe trees, lady slippers, and acom trees.\u00a0 <\/span>The Mundane equivalents were sadly deficient.\u00a0 <\/span>“Normally the water flows south, and it has been our geis to guarantee its purity, so that Xanth is not stained by Mundanian contaminants.\u00a0 <\/span>Normally the water was mostly clean, so this was no problem, but in recent decades it has become sullied, until it was virtually sludge.\u00a0 <\/span>It was awful, cleaning it up! But now there’s a drought, and there’s no water at all, which is worse yet.\u00a0 <\/span>I hope that when the rains return, and the flow resumes, that it will be cleaner, so that it doesn’t leave such a foul taste in my mouth.\u00a0 <\/span>But regardless, I will do it, because my line is honor bound to guarantee the quality of this water.\u00a0 <\/span>No wading swans will get their knees dirty in this river.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now that’s interesting,” Mentia said, looking about as bored as he had been when she had lost her clothing.\u00a0 <\/span>“But why are you wasting your time here, when you could get the job done without all that fuss?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow the gargoyle began to show some feeling.\u00a0 <\/span>“What do you mean, wasting my time? This is my job, demoness.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So it’s your job.\u00a0 <\/span>But why not do it the easy way?” “Because it’s the only way I know.” He paused, counting.\u00a0 <\/span>“That’s three questions I’ve answered.\u00a0 <\/span>My turn.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhat’s this easy way?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How should I know, spoutface?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You don’t know how?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s right, gamishee.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary paused, realizing that two of his questions were already gone, by her slightly crazy rules.\u00a0 <\/span>He had already failed to learn why her clothing had been confused, and he didn’t want to fail to leam how to do his job the easy way.\u00a0 <\/span>So he phrased his question carefully.\u00a0 <\/span>“What gives you the idea that there is an easy way to do my job?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMentia shrugged, making ripples all across her front and down her arms.\u00a0 <\/span>“There has to be, because if you went to ask the Good Magician about it, he would have the answer.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Good Magician! He had never thought of that.\u00a0 <\/span>But he realized that this was not a wise course for him.\u00a0 <\/span>“I couldn’t go to ask him, because the moment it rains, the river will resume its flow, and I shall have to be here to clarify it.\u00a0 <\/span>Anyway, I understand he’s extremely grumpy.\u00a0 <\/span>And I don’t know the way there.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why don’t you make a dam, so the water can’t pass until you return to process it? And what’s so bad about grumpiness, if it frees you from a lifetime’s geis? And why not ask me to show you the way there?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThree more questions.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary pondered, then answered them.\u00a0 <\/span>“I could make such a dam.\u00a0 <\/span>A few minutes of grumpiness seem a bargain, when I think of it that way.\u00a0 <\/span>And I won’t ask you to show me the way there because you’re a demoness who surely has mischief in mind.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe considered that.\u00a0 <\/span>“It’s your turn for questions.\u00a0 <\/span>Why don’t you ask me if I mean to lead you astray?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe became interested.\u00a0 <\/span>“Do you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why not?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Because I have a defect of demonly character: I’m slightly crazy.\u00a0 <\/span>That’s why my clothing was mixed up.” Her blouse and skirt reappeared, correctly placed.\u00a0 <\/span>“I share this with my better half: I like to be entertained, and you promise to be entertaining.\u00a0 <\/span>I don’t care about you personally, of course, but I hate being bored.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat seemed to be a fair answer.\u00a0 <\/span>So Gary gambled and asked the expected question: “Will you guide me safely to the Good Magician’s castle?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Very well.\u00a0 <\/span>I shall make the dam.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe got to work.\u00a0 <\/span>There were some wallflowers not far distant, and he was able to transplant several to the river bed.\u00a0 <\/span>But there was a problem: they needed water in order to flower, and he had none.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, find some water lilies or water melons or water cress,” Mentia suggested impatiently.\u00a0 <\/span>Her body was aimed away from him, but this didn’t matter because her head was now on backwards; she had gotten confused again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“There aren’t any in sight,” he pointed out.\u00a0 <\/span>“I know only the plants that are in sight, because I have been bound to my post in the river for the past century or so.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh for illness sake!” she exclaimed.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’ll find some.” Her lower section fuzzed and formed into a peculiar wheeled vehicle.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s that?” Gary asked, surprised.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Haven’t you seen a snit before?” Then a dirty noise pooped out of the thing’s tailpipe, its wheels spun, and ‘it zoomed away at magical speed.\u00a0 <\/span>She was departing in a snit.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen it zoomed backward, just as rapidly, coming to park just under his nose.\u00a0 <\/span>“Just be thankful it isn’t a snot,” the demoness said, and was gone again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary was duly thankful.\u00a0 <\/span>He had not had a lot of experience with demons, but this one seemed tolerable despite being rather too pretty for his taste.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSoon she was back, bearing a boxlike object.\u00a0 <\/span>“That doesn’t look like a water plant,” Gary said dubiously.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Naturally not,” she agreed, setting it in the river bed beside some of the rocklike pillows there.\u00a0 <\/span>“It’s a closet.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What good is a closet? We need water.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A water closet,” she clarified.\u00a0 <\/span>She opened the door, and a flood of bright blue liquid poured out.\u00a0 <\/span>“That’s polluted!” Gary cried.\u00a0 <\/span>He jumped down and placed himself in the path of the flow.\u00a0 <\/span>He sucked up the water, then spouted it out.\u00a0 <\/span>“Oh-it’s water color.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Whatever,” she agreed.\u00a0 <\/span>“It will do, won’t it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe considered, tasting more of the water as it changed to red and then to green.\u00a0 <\/span>Already some of it was sinking into the ground around the wallflowers, and they were growing.\u00a0 <\/span>“Yes, as long as it doesn’t flow away from here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So make another little damn.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“To divert the curse.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn a short moment he figured it out.\u00a0 <\/span>A dam to divert the course of the flow.\u00a0 <\/span>Mentia might be her self’s worse half, but she did seem to suffer from a bit of her better half’s problem with vocabulary.\u00a0 <\/span>He hastily scraped dirt and rocks across the path of the stream, causing it to puddle.\u00a0 <\/span>That left it nowhere to flow but into the ground around the flowers.\u00a0 <\/span>These responded by developing blue, red, green and other colored walls, depending on the color of the water.\u00a0 <\/span>The walls walled off the main riverbed.\u00a0 <\/span>The job was done.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Let’s be off,” the demoness said, floating up.\u00a0 <\/span>She had resumed her full human form, and was correctly garbed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut Gary hesitated.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’m not sure this is appropriate.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe floated over him, becoming even more lovely in her moderate pique.\u00a0 <\/span>“Why not, garlic?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Because my powers of flight are limited.\u00a0 <\/span>I weigh considerable, being lithic.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Being what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Being made mostly of stone, so I can fly only when aided by a steep slope or a gale-force breeze.\u00a0 <\/span>I shall have to proceed along the ground.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So why not proceed, garnet? That doesn’t mean I have to be landbound.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I think it does.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why, garland?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Because from down here I think I can see your panties.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe exploded into roiling smoke.\u00a0 <\/span>Flames licked around the roils.\u00a0 <\/span>Her voice emerged, tinged with soot.\u00a0 <\/span>“You aren’t supposed to look, garget!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I didn’t look.\u00a0 <\/span>But I suspect that if I did-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh.” The cloud sank to the ground, coalescing into her luscious human form-this time in red jeans.\u00a0 <\/span>“Point made, garden.\u00a0 <\/span>I’ll walk when you do.\u00a0 <\/span>Thanks for not looking.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Thanks for getting my name straight.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe paused, fuzzing briefly before firming again.\u00a0 <\/span>“Got it, Gary Gar.” She glanced speculatively at him.\u00a0 <\/span>“It occurs to me you’re not quite as stupid as you look.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t look stupid, I look properly grotesque.\u00a0 <\/span>It occurs to me that you’re not quite as careless as you seem.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You know, if you were less ugly, I could almost be tempted to think about possibly starting to get to like you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“If you were less pretty, I might be tempted not to dislike you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOnce more she fuzzed.\u00a0 <\/span>“You like ugly!” she exclaimed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How fining!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m a gargoyle.\u00a0 <\/span>We’re the ugliest creatures in Xanth, and righteously proud of it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What about the ogres?” Gary pondered.\u00a0 <\/span>“I suppose you could call them ugly, if you dislike that type,” he concluded grudgingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Maybe we’ll encounter some along the way, and see.” Then she thought of something else.\u00a0 <\/span>“You’re no more human than I am.\u00a0 <\/span>Why should you care about panties?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t.\u00a0 <\/span>But you evidently do.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, when I emulate the human form there are codes of conduct to be observed, or the emulation is imperfect.\u00a0 <\/span>But that does give me a notion.” She fuzzed, and reappeared as a female gargoyle, horrendously ugly.\u00a0 <\/span>“How do you like me now, Gary?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe studied her.\u00a0 <\/span>“I wish you were real.\u00a0 <\/span>I’d be glad to spout water with you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ha! You mean I can tempt you in this form, and endlessly frustrate you? This promises to be entertaining after all.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Let’s be on our way,” he said shortly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“On down the riverbed,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>“It will take us south to the gulf.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I can’t swim,” he protested.\u00a0 <\/span>“I would sink right to the bottom.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then we won’t enter the water.\u00a0 <\/span>We’ll proceed along the shore.\u00a0 <\/span>Except-” She broke off, evidently waiting for his query.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Except what?” he dutifully inquired.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Except for the whatever.\u00a0 <\/span>You’ll have trouble navigating that.” Then she brightened.\u00a0 <\/span>“But maybe I can figure out a way.\u00a0 <\/span>Onward!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Onward,” he agreed, determined not to oblige her by asking again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey set off down the riverbed, bound by bound, using their little wings to steer the bounds and keep them within bounds.\u00a0 <\/span>It was the gargoyle way.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBefore long the dry riverbanks changed color, turning yellow.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary paused.\u00a0 <\/span>“What’s the matter with the ground?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMentia looked.\u00a0 <\/span>“Nothing.\u00a0 <\/span>It’s just doing its thing.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it’s all sickly yellow!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No it isn’t.” She raked a claw across the dirt.\u00a0 <\/span>Golden coins rolled down into the channel.\u00a0 <\/span>“This bank is pay dirt.\u00a0 <\/span>And there’s a mint.” She pointed to a plant with odd oblong greenbacked leaves and round golden flowers with serrated edges.\u00a0 <\/span>“This is the bank where the money comes from, is all.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Money? What good is it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No good that I know of.\u00a0 <\/span>But I understand they love it in Mundania.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They do?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They say that the love of money is the root of all evil.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe looked at the mint’s roots, which did look bad, if not actually evil.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But doesn’t that mean that they think it’s bad?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No, Mundania is such an awful place that they must love evil.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary nodded.\u00a0 <\/span>“That does make sense.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Pennies and cents,” she agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey bounded on.\u00a0 <\/span>They came to a sign:<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWHEN PASSING THIS BOG BEWARE OF THE DOG<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t see any bog,” Gary said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t see any dog either.\u00a0 <\/span>But maybe it doesn’t matter; that’s just doggerel.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA new kind of tree appeared along the bank.\u00a0 <\/span>There was the sound of barking.\u00a0 <\/span>“Dogwoods,” Mentia explained.\u00a0 <\/span>‘They’re harmless if you don’t try to rub against their bark, which is worse than their bite.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut then real dogs appeared.\u00a0 <\/span>“I thought Xanth had no dogs,” Gary said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This is close to the border; a pack must have crossed over, and the dogs haven’t yet had time to turn magic.\u00a0 <\/span>It happens.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe dogs converged, growling.\u00a0 <\/span>“They don’t seem to be friendly,” Gary remarked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Who cares? They can’t hurt us.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m a demoness and you’re mostly mythic.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Lithic.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Whatever.” So they bounded on, ignoring the dogs.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut the animals pursued doggedly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt got worse.\u00a0 <\/span>Ahead was a solid line of canines.\u00a0 <\/span>It was impossible to bound through them.\u00a0 <\/span>So they stopped before the large female in the center.\u00a0 <\/span>“Who are you and what do you want?” Gary asked, hardly expecting an answer.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am Dogma,” she replied.\u00a0 <\/span>“I want your dog tags.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We don’t have anything like that.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then we’ll have to eat you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Just because we don’t have something you want?” he asked incredulously.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m a real bitch,” she reminded him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then we’ll just have to fight you,” Gary said with regret, for he was a peaceful creature.\u00a0 <\/span>“Have you ever been chomped by stone teeth?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDogma reconsidered.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’m really not dogmatic.\u00a0 <\/span>Just what kind of a monster are you?” she demanded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m a gargoyle.\u00a0 <\/span>I purify the water coming along this river, but I’m trying to find a better way to do it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Doggone it,” she complained.\u00a0 <\/span>“Why didn’t you say so? We thought you were pretending to be a dog.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why would anyone want to be a dog?” Mentia demanded.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDogma turned to the others.\u00a0 <\/span>“Let them go, dogfaces,” she growled.\u00a0 <\/span>“We don’t have a problem with gargoyles, and we don’t want our river to get spoiled.\u00a0 <\/span>The swans would go away.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe dogs looked disgusted, but gave way, and the two moved on down the river channel.\u00a0 <\/span>But they had hardly cleared the dog region before they encountered worse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“More dogs?” Gary asked, seeing the creatures approaching.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No.\u00a0 <\/span>Wolves.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s the difference? Aren’t wolves just wild dogs?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not in Xanth.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey stopped as the wolves closed in.\u00a0 <\/span>“What do you creatures want?” Gary demanded.\u00a0 <\/span>He was getting impatient with these delays; at this rate it would be hard to accomplish his business with the Good Magician and return before nightfall.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We are the Wolf clan,” the lead female said, changing to human form.\u00a0 <\/span>“I am Virginia Wolf.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You-werewolves!” Gary exclaimed, surprised.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We still are wolves,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>“We were wolves yesterday and will be so tomorrow.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I mean you change form,” he said, flustered.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe looked around.\u00a0 <\/span>“We do? Where?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Right here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Here, there, everywhere; what’s the difference where wolves are?” More wolves were assuming human form.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I mean you’re magical.\u00a0 <\/span>You’re not true wolves.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nVirginia shook her head.\u00a0 <\/span>“Never cry wolf,” she cautioned him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She’s teasing you,” Mentia said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary was catching on to that.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’m the gargoyle who purifies -the Swan Knee water.\u00a0 <\/span>I want to get a better way to honor my geis from the Good Magician.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We suspected as much,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>“Otherwise the dog pack wouldn’t have let you through.\u00a0 <\/span>But you know you have a long road to run.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I do? How far is it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Several days plus the Gap Chasm.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You don’t know about the Gap Chasm?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ve never been south of the border,” he said, nettled.\u00a0 <\/span>“What’s this about a gap?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s a big crevice across Xanth,” she explained.\u00a0 <\/span>“It used to have a forget spell on it, so nobody remembered it, but most folk know about it now.\u00a0 <\/span>You look too heavy to fly far, so maybe you can’t get there from here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary turned to Mentia.\u00a0 <\/span>“You didn’t tell me about this!” he said accusingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That wouldn’t have been entertaining,” she retorted.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And what’s this about several days?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You didn’t ask.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’ll never get this done before it rains!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s why you built the dam.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe had him there.\u00a0 <\/span>“Still, if I can’t cross the chasm-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I have an idea how to do that.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe was frustrated, but decided to go ahead.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe it was still possible.\u00a0 <\/span>The notion of returning to his dry riverbed to wait for more Mundane sludge to come through was appealing less, for some reason.\u00a0 <\/span>“So will you let us through?” he asked Virginia.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We might as well.\u00a0 <\/span>We don’t want dirty water either.\u00a0 <\/span>It would mess up our apparel.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Your apparel?” he asked blankly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We are underwear wolves,” she explained.\u00a0 <\/span>“We’re training to crowd out the regular monsters under children’s beds, and get a cushier life-style.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe realized belatedly that what he had taken for a specialized costume on their human forms was actually underclothing.\u00a0 <\/span>In fact Virginia was wearing panties.\u00a0 <\/span>It was a good thing he wasn’t human, or he would have freaked out, because that was the magic of panties.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey resumed their bounding.\u00a0 <\/span>They made good time, but the distance stretched farther, and night caught them.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Do gargoyles sleep?” Mentia inquired.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Only when we’re bored.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Are you bored?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No.” Frustrated, but not bored.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So let’s keep moving.\u00a0 <\/span>I know the way.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary was glad to do that.\u00a0 <\/span>They bounded on through the darkness.\u00a0 <\/span>There were surely predators of the night, but they evidently elected to leave the demoness and the gargoyle alone.\u00a0 <\/span>The result was that as morning came, they were just arriving at what looked like a stall fashioned into a house.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What is this?” Gary asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A stall fashioned into a house.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I mean what are we doing here?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Arriving.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nDemons could get exasperating on occasion.\u00a0 <\/span>“Is this going to help us cross the chasm?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Then why are we-?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The occupants may help, however,” she clarified.\u00a0 <\/span>“Houses don’t seem to care much about chasms, but the centaurs do.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe door opened.\u00a0 <\/span>A winged centaur filly about nine years old peered out.\u00a0 <\/span>“Eeeek,” she screamed.\u00a0 <\/span>“An incredibly ugly monster!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh be quiet, Cynthia,” the demoness snapped.\u00a0 <\/span>“It’s only me, Mentia, Metria’s worse aspect.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But Metria’s safely married and no longer doing mischief abroad,” the filly protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I know.\u00a0 <\/span>It’s disgusting.\u00a0 <\/span>That’s why I’m abroad.” Mentia assumed human form.\u00a0 <\/span>“A demon broad.\u00a0 <\/span>Tell Chex I could use a favor.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIn a moment a mature winged centaur emerged, tying her damp hair back; she must have been interrupted as she washed it.\u00a0 <\/span>“Metria has a split personality?” she inquired.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Emotional havoc can do that,” Mentia said.\u00a0 <\/span>“I couldn’t stand her half-souled loving attitude, so I fissioned off.\u00a0 <\/span>Now I’m in charge of the mischief.\u00a0 <\/span>But I got distracted by this ugly brute, so I’m guiding him to the Good Magician’s castle.\u00a0 <\/span>But the Gap Chasm’s in the way, and he’s too solid to fly, so-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChex gazed at Gary.\u00a0 <\/span>“Why you’re a gargoyle, aren’t you?” she asked.\u00a0 <\/span>“We seldom see your kind here.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s because most of us are purifying the waters flowing in from Mundania, according to our geis,” he explained.\u00a0 <\/span>“But now if I can find a better way-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Of course,” she agreed immediately.\u00a0 <\/span>Centaurs, he remembered, were very bright.\u00a0 <\/span>“And you need to fly across the Gap Chasm.\u00a0 <\/span>I can certainly help you to do that.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You can?” he asked, amazed.\u00a0 <\/span>“But my weight-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe turned and flicked him with her tail.\u00a0 <\/span>Suddenly he felt light-headed and light-bodied.\u00a0 <\/span>He flapped his wings experimentally, and sailed into the air.\u00a0 <\/span>She had made him so light that he was able to fly!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Thank you,” Mentia said.\u00a0 <\/span>“Some day I shall fail to do you mischief, when I have the chance.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nChex smiled.\u00a0 <\/span>“That seems a fair bargain.\u00a0 <\/span>We do need clean water.\u00a0 <\/span>In any event, we winged monsters have to help each other.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMentia rose into the air.\u00a0 <\/span>“I knew that,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>Then, to Gary: “Move it, monster.\u00a0 <\/span>You don’t want to be over the chasm when her magic wears off.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Just how big is this crevice?” he asked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’ll see.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey flew south as the sun made a nest of colors to the east and lifted itself out of the clouds.\u00a0 <\/span>Suddenly an enormous chasm opened out below.\u00a0 <\/span>It was so wide and deep that a few of the pink morning clouds were nestling within it.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary could not see to its base; that was still shrouded in night.\u00a0 <\/span>But he felt new urgency to get across it; already he was feeling heavier.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey landed beyond the Gap on what the demoness assured him was an enchanted path: only folk on legitimate business could use it, and while they were on it, they would be protected from monsters.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I’m a monster!” he protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You have to be a nice monster for now.\u00a0 <\/span>Can you stand it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I was never a nasty monster.\u00a0 <\/span>Just an ugly one.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So you’ll have no problem.\u00a0 <\/span>We’ll soon reach the castle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It will be good to get this done with.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe glanced sidelong at him.\u00a0 <\/span>“There’s a detail or two I may not have mentioned.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The last detail or two related to the distance and the Gap Chasm.\u00a0 <\/span>I hope these aren’t as bad.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No, not as bad,” she said, smiling.\u00a0 <\/span>“Worse.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Worse! Why didn’t you tell me, you crazy creature?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Thank you.\u00a0 <\/span>I thought it would be more interesting this way.\u00a0 <\/span>You see, you don’t just walk into the Good Magician’s castle.\u00a0 <\/span>You have to struggle past three challenges.\u00a0 <\/span>That’s because he doesn’t like to be disturbed by folk who aren’t serious.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“If I had known that-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“To be sure,” she agreed so sweetly that flakes of crystallized sugar formed on her surfaces.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe tried to get a grip on his unruly emotion.\u00a0 <\/span>“What’s the other detail?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“The Good Magician charges.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Charges?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“One year’s service for each Question he Answers.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“One year!” he cried, outraged.\u00a0 <\/span>“That’s ridiculous!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“To be sure,” she agreed even more sweetly.\u00a0 <\/span>Cloying syrup oozed from her pores.\u00a0 <\/span>“Well, this path leads right to it, so you can’t get lost.\u00a0 <\/span>I have to be going now, to realign with my better half.\u00a0 <\/span>Bye.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now just a long moment!” he said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut she had already faded out.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGOOD\u00a0 <\/span>MAGICIAN<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary gazed at the castle.\u00a0 <\/span>It looked ordinary, being pretty much like his mental image.\u00a0 <\/span>There were walls and turrets and pennants and the rest of the usual.\u00a0 <\/span>But it differed in one significant respect: the moat was dry.\u00a0 <\/span>The drought must have affected this region too.\u00a0 <\/span>That was sad.\u00a0 <\/span>No castle was worth much without water.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nD.\u00a0 <\/span>Mentia had said that there would be three challenges.\u00a0 <\/span>She was slightly crazy, but she seemed to have been truthful when she wasn’t omitting key details.\u00a0 <\/span>So he would be prepared.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere seemed to be a drawbridge to the side.\u00a0 <\/span>He bounded toward it, because that was surely better than descending into the caked gunk at the bottom of the defunct moat.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe vegetation closed in with thick brambles.\u00a0 <\/span>His stone hide couldn’t be hurt by brambles any more than by the bites of dogs, but he didn’t like getting his finish scratched, so he followed the path that offered.\u00a0 <\/span>It curved away from the castle, but surely would return to find the drawbridge.\u00a0 <\/span>It took him into a small forest of cane of all colors, a rather pretty scene.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe came to a glade.\u00a0 <\/span>There an armored warrior was laboring to harvest some of the canes, looking somewhat tired and sweaty.\u00a0 <\/span>Perhaps it was someone doing a service for the Good Magician.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe he could learn more about this situation.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary bounded to a halt.\u00a0 <\/span>“Hello, sir warrior,” he said politely.\u00a0 <\/span>He understood that human folk liked to be given tides, and since it cost him nothing to humor their foibles, he did so.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe figure paused and turned to him.\u00a0 <\/span>“Don’t ‘sir’ me!” it snapped.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’m not a man.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary was somewhat set back.\u00a0 <\/span>“I apologize,” he said contritely.\u00a0 <\/span>“I took you for human.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am human,” she said, straightening into a warlike pose.\u00a0 <\/span>He saw that her metallic armor was curved in front in a manner reminiscent of Mentia’s decolletage, when the demoness remembered to have one.\u00a0 <\/span>This did suggest the figure was female.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’m Hannah Barbarian, and if you were a smart-mouthed man I’d cut off three of your legs as readily as I do these hurry canes.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Hurry canes?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They are used as walking canes,” she said aggressively.\u00a0 <\/span>“But they make you rush.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m sure they’re useful, but they’re hard to hang on to.” Indeed, the one she had just cut was whipping around as if trying to escape her grip, and the trussed bundle of them was hopping on the ground, eager to go somewhere.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Perhaps I could help you accomplish your task,” Gary said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThis seemed to make her angrier.\u00a0 <\/span>“I don’t need any male’s help! Now get out of here before I forget myself and practice something feministic on you.” The cane in her hand whirled menacingly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary hastily bounded on.\u00a0 <\/span>He had heard that human females were sweet and soft, but evidently he had been misinformed.\u00a0 <\/span>Perhaps this was another detail the demoness hadn’t mentioned.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe path curved around and brought him to the drawbridge.\u00a0 <\/span>Two young human men stood before it.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary bounded to another stop.\u00a0 <\/span>“Hello,” he said, carefully omitting the “sir” so as not to annoy anyone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe two eyed him sourly.\u00a0 <\/span>“Hello yourself,” one said sharply.\u00a0 <\/span>“You are a horrendously ugly creature,” the other said candidly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Thank you,” Gary replied.\u00a0 <\/span>He realized that humans liked compliments, so he offered one in return: “You’re not exactly handsome yourself.” He was stretching a point, as the man was far from the gargoyle standard of ugliness, but social nicety seemed to require it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe second man grimaced.\u00a0 <\/span>“Perhaps we should introduce ourselves.\u00a0 <\/span>I am Frank.\u00a0 <\/span>He is Curt.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am Gary,” Gary said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That is not the most original name,” Frank said directly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“He’s an animal,” Curt said brusquely.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“All true,” Gary agreed innocently.\u00a0 <\/span>“Now if you will step aside, I would like to cross that drawbridge.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not a chance,” Curt said tersely.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I must inform you straightforwardly that we are here to prevent you from trespassing,” Frank said openly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I need to see the Good Magician,” Gary said perplexedly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Tough,” Curt said shortly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Perhaps you don’t understand,” Frank said forthrightly.\u00a0 <\/span>‘This is a challenge.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh,” Gary said naively.\u00a0 <\/span>“I hadn’t realized.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Perhaps because you are not very intelligent,” Frank said boldly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re ignorant,” Curt said bluntly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I surely am,” Gary agreed, bemused.\u00a0 <\/span>He realized that these two had a job to do, and that his own job was to get them out of his way.\u00a0 <\/span>He could simply barge on through, knocking them into the stinking muck of the moat, but though his hide was stone, his heart was soft, and he couldn’t bring himself to do that.\u00a0 <\/span>So he turned away, pondering alternatives.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What a clod,” Curt remarked gruffly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They do not produce challengers the way they used to,” Frank agreed freely.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary wandered on around the moat.\u00a0 <\/span>The path gave up after a few paces, evidently tired.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary had to stop lest he step on some T-shaped plants grouped in conic formations, bearing what looked like peas.\u00a0 <\/span>He picked a ripe pea and put it in his mouth.\u00a0 <\/span>It turned instantly to fluid.\u00a0 <\/span>It was tea!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThese were tea peas.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHowever, this didn’t help him cross the moat.\u00a0 <\/span>He still didn’t want to wade through the muck, so he turned his tail on the tea-pea patch and returned to the drawbridge.\u00a0 <\/span>“Are you sure you won’t let me cross peaceably?” he inquired artlessly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Absolutely,” Curt replied abruptly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It is not in our job description,” Frank replied openly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary still didn’t want to act in a nasty manner, so he followed the path back to the cane.\u00a0 <\/span>There was a wind rising there now, with gusts becoming quite stiff.\u00a0 <\/span>The canes swayed, looking as if they wished they could hurry elsewhere.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHannah was worse off.\u00a0 <\/span>Her militantly coifed hair was getting blown all askew, and her amazonian skirt was flapping so badly as to show her stiff knees.\u00a0 <\/span>She did not look particularly pleased.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Hello,” Gary said hesitantly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe whirled on him, a straggling cane in each hand.\u00a0 <\/span>“You again? What do you want?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Nothing,” he said cautiously.\u00a0 <\/span>“It’s just that I discovered a patch of tea peas.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe if you drank some of them you would feel better.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHannah paused in mid-whirl.\u00a0 <\/span>“Maybe you’re right, monster.\u00a0 <\/span>I am thoroughly thirsty from this windy work.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhere is that patch?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Down this path to the drawbridge, and turn right.\u00a0 <\/span>You can’t miss it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe eyed him.\u00a0 <\/span>“Where are you going now?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary shrugged.\u00a0 <\/span>“I don’t seem to have what it takes to get into the Good Magician’s castle, so perhaps I’ll go home, if I can find the way.\u00a0 <\/span>But I’m still willing to help you gather some cane, if there is any way I can be useful.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re not exactly a typical male,” she remarked.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I haven’t had much practice,” he confessed.\u00a0 <\/span>“I have worked alone all my life.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHannah seemed almost unmilitant for half an instant, though this was probably a misinterpretation of her mood.\u00a0 <\/span>“I know the feeling.\u00a0 <\/span>Stick around, gargoyle.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe I will accept your help, after I take some tea.” She marched off along the path.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary shrugged and followed.\u00a0 <\/span>He was hoping that he would figure out some way to cross the moat, because he didn’t like giving up, and also was not unduly eager to try to cross the larger ditch known as the Gap Chasm without having something to show for his excursion.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHannah came into sight of the drawbridge.\u00a0 <\/span>There were Prank and Curt.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Look!” Curt cried briefly.\u00a0 <\/span>“A tart!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That is one messed-up girl,” Frank said in an up-front manner.\u00a0 <\/span>“She’s wearing a ridiculous military outfit, carrying some kind of clumsy stick, and her hair resembles a dismembered mop.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now there’s a pair of typical jacks,” Hannah exclaimed.\u00a0 <\/span>“How fortunate that I was already angry.” She strode forward, wielding her cane.\u00a0 <\/span>“I never did take any guff from cartoon characters.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What’s up, sweetie?” Curt inquired in a sexist way.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You intrigue us, darling,” Frank said.\u00a0 <\/span>“I wonder whether under that metallic skirt you wear a pair of-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen Hannah caught up to them.\u00a0 <\/span>There were two thunks and a sudden splash, as of bags of rocks falling into mud.\u00a0 <\/span>It was all over in an eye-blink, and by the time Gary finished blinking, the barbarian woman was on her way to the pea patch and the drawbridge was empty.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary realized that he had inadvertently made an opportunity for himself.\u00a0 <\/span>Hannah, who was not particularly softhearted about obnoxious men, had done the job Gary had shied away from.\u00a0 <\/span>So he might as well cross the drawbridge while he had the chance.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBut as he bounded to it, another figure appeared.\u00a0 <\/span>It looked human, but was faintly glowing.\u00a0 <\/span>And it barred the way.\u00a0 <\/span>“Are you another challenge?” Gary inquired as he came to a stop.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I am indeed! I am Piera.\u00a0 <\/span>My talent is the control of fire.” She lifted her hands, tossing a ball of fire between them.\u00a0 <\/span>“If you try to pass, I will bum you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Fire,” he said, impressed.\u00a0 <\/span>“I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t a salamander who could do that.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My brother Fiero’s just as hot as I am, and together we are even hotter,” she said proudly.\u00a0 <\/span>“We’re Xanth’s hottest act.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary couldn’t be hurt by fire any more than by thorns or teeth, but he didn’t want to have to dump a nice human woman like Fiera into the muck, so he retreated.\u00a0 <\/span>This time he found a path circling the moat in the other direction.\u00a0 <\/span>In a moment it debouched into a little circle of glassy stones.\u00a0 <\/span>In the middle of the circle was a big feather.\u00a0 <\/span>He picked it up so that it wouldn’t get stepped on, for it was a pretty feather.\u00a0 <\/span>Then he wasn’t sure what to do with it, because it could get blown into the path again and get stepped on after he left.\u00a0 <\/span>So he tucked it into the rock wool between his horns for safekeeping.\u00a0 <\/span>When he found someone who appreciated pretty feathers, he would give it to that person.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen he saw that one of the glassy stones had fallen out of the circle, perhaps having been blown over by the wind.\u00a0 <\/span>He tried to move it back into place with his paws, but it splashed.\u00a0 <\/span>Astonished, he jumped back-and it sagged and started slopping onto the ground.\u00a0 <\/span>It was actually a container of water!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe couldn’t just let it pour out.\u00a0 <\/span>After all there was a drought, and water was precious.\u00a0 <\/span>So he returned and tried to shape it up with his paws, but it still slopped.\u00a0 <\/span>The sides of it were bendy, and there was a hole in the top, so that as it sat it sagged, and as it sagged it flowed.\u00a0 <\/span>It was probably his fault; he must have inadvertently knocked it over, and now it was no longer tight.\u00a0 <\/span>What to do?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe put his mouth to the edge and caught the side of it between his teeth.\u00a0 <\/span>He bit down gently, only hard enough to be able to catch hold and pull it up.\u00a0 <\/span>That stopped the leaking.\u00a0 <\/span>But the moment he tried to let go, it sagged again.\u00a0 <\/span>He couldn’t let it go without mining it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMaybe Fiera would know what to do.\u00a0 <\/span>She was part of this situation, after all.\u00a0 <\/span>So he set his teeth carefully into the rock and slowly dragged it down the path, making sure that no more water spilled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What are you doing with that quartz?” Fiera demanded when he reached the drawbridge.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Quartz?” he asked blankly.\u00a0 <\/span>As he did so, his teeth let go of the rock, and it began to sag and leak again.\u00a0 <\/span>He snapped at it, trying to stop the spillage, but couldn’t get a proper hold.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, you have quartz of water,” she said, alarmed.\u00a0 <\/span>“That’s worse than pintz of water.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, the water’s leaking, and I wondered if you know how to stop it,” he said, nipping again for the edge, and missing again.\u00a0 <\/span>The feather fell from his head and landed in the water.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThen something odd happened.\u00a0 <\/span>The quill pointed up and squirted water.\u00a0 <\/span>A jet of it shot up, making an arc toward the woman.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“EEEEK!!” Fiera screamed, falling back.\u00a0 <\/span>“A Fountain Pen!!” She was so upset that she managed double exclamation points.\u00a0 <\/span>Her pert posterior landed on the wooden drawbridge and set it afire.\u00a0 <\/span>But the quill pen kept fountaining, drawing from the quartz.\u00a0 <\/span>Trying to escape it, she scrambled to her feet and charged past him in a fiery flash.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m sorry!” Gary cried, starting to bound after her.\u00a0 <\/span>But she was already out of sight, and the pen was still squirting.\u00a0 <\/span>He had to turn back and pull out the feather, getting roundly squirted in the snoot.\u00a0 <\/span>The jet stopped when he got the feather clear of the water.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe looked around.\u00a0 <\/span>The planks of the bridge were still burning around the seat-shaped spot where Fiera had landed.\u00a0 <\/span>She must have lost control of her fire for a moment.\u00a0 <\/span>He could put it out, but he would have to use the rest of the water in the quartz, and he wasn’t willing to do that.\u00a0 <\/span>So he dragged the half-full rock back to the stone circle.\u00a0 <\/span>Now he was able to prop it up without leaking.\u00a0 <\/span>He hoped it would heal in dme.\u00a0 <\/span>He had certainly made a mess of things.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nWhen he returned to the drawbridge he saw that the fire had burned itself out.\u00a0 <\/span>But the remaining planks were charred, and he doubted that they would support his weight.\u00a0 <\/span>He realized that he could have crossed, and won the challenge, if he had just been willing to use up the rest of the water.\u00a0 <\/span>But he was a stone creature, and he had an affinity with stone, and just couldn’t mistreat the quartz like that.\u00a0 <\/span>He was obviously not the type of creature the Good Magician wanted to see.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill, there was not much to be gained by departing at this stage.\u00a0 <\/span>He might as well plow onward.\u00a0 <\/span>Even if the Magician wasn’t going to let him in.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe considered the moat again.\u00a0 <\/span>Now he saw that the muck in the bottom was filled with fish.\u00a0 <\/span>They must have been stranded by the drought.\u00a0 <\/span>That was no good.\u00a0 <\/span>He didn’t want to squish them underfoot, of course, but neither did he want to let them suffer longer.\u00a0 <\/span>They needed water, and plenty of it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nPerhaps this was what the quartz rocks were for: to refill the moat when it got dry.\u00a0 <\/span>But there weren’t enough of them to do the job.\u00a0 <\/span>He needed to find some other way.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe lay down beside the moat and put his head over the edge.\u00a0 <\/span>“I want to help you, but you will have to help me,” he said.\u00a0 <\/span>“Do any of you fish know where I can find enough water to fill this moat?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOne big fish wriggled a bit in the muck.\u00a0 <\/span>“Scales,” it gasped.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What do your scales have to do with water?” Gary asked, perplexed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Balance,” it gasped.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Balance?” He was no more enlightened.\u00a0 <\/span>But the fish had gasped its last gasp; it had no further strength for dialogue.\u00a0 <\/span>It was surely very uncomfortable for a fish to be out of water, and talking made it worse.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nStill, this suggested that there was water to be had somewhere.\u00a0 <\/span>All he had to do was find it.\u00a0 <\/span>At least he could help the fish before he departed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe bounded back along the path.\u00a0 <\/span>He discovered another fork leading from the glade in the cane grove.\u00a0 <\/span>The wind was still strong, but he was too heavy to be much affected.\u00a0 <\/span>He followed the new path.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIt led to a small mountain.\u00a0 <\/span>On the top of the mountain was a big stone, precariously balanced.\u00a0 <\/span>It was a wonder the wind didn’t blow it off its perch, so that it crashed downward crushing all before it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nBalance.\u00a0 <\/span>The fish had said that.\u00a0 <\/span>This must relate.\u00a0 <\/span>But what did it mean?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe looked around-and spied another mountain, with another boulder.\u00a0 <\/span>More balancing.\u00a0 <\/span>But he still didn’t know how any of this could help.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe bounded between the two mountains, hoping for some clue.\u00a0 <\/span>He saw that the sunlight fell across this region in a checkered pattern, interrupted by the shadows of the mountains and stones.\u00a0 <\/span>Halfway between the balanced rocks was a square that seemed to have been etched into the ground by the pattern of sunbeam and shadow.\u00a0 <\/span>He wasn’t sure how it had happened, because normally shadows did not stay still very long.\u00a0 <\/span>But this was a fairly magical region, and with magic almost anything was possible.\u00a0 <\/span>There must be some significance.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA checkered region between the balanced rocks.\u00a0 <\/span>Checks and balances? The scales of a balance?<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nScales.\u00a0 <\/span>Now he saw markings around the square, as if something was being measured.\u00a0 <\/span>He followed the marks, and found a single fish scale.\u00a0 <\/span>He peered at it.\u00a0 <\/span>There seemed to be words: RAIN CHECK.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSuddenly he didn’t care about scales, checks, or balances.\u00a0 <\/span>This related to rain, and rain was what he wanted.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe it was an amulet or other magic device to summon rain.\u00a0 <\/span>He picked it up with his teeth and carded it away.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe wind was blowing more fiercely than ever, but Gary flowed on through it.\u00a0 <\/span>He reached the moat and dropped the rain check in.\u00a0 <\/span>“Rain!” he cried.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nSuddenly the wind whipped into a storm.\u00a0 <\/span>Mist formed, thickening over the moat.\u00a0 <\/span>From beyond the horizon came a cloud, borne along by the fierce wind.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary gazed at it.\u00a0 <\/span>He knew that cloud! That was Fracto Cumulo Nimbus, who loved to float by and withhold rain at critical times.\u00a0 <\/span>That was one reason for the drought.\u00a0 <\/span>Fracto must be magically bound by a geis of his own, to honor the rain check when it was invoked.\u00a0 <\/span>Thus the scale between the balances, there for Gary to find-if he could.\u00a0 <\/span>He had more or less blundered across it, but had at least recognized it when he spied it.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNow Fracto was over the castle and the moat, boiling into a frenzy.\u00a0 <\/span>The bottom fell out, and water gushed out of the cloud.\u00a0 <\/span>The moat began to fill.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe big fish swam up.\u00a0 <\/span>“Thank you,” it said, no longer gasping.\u00a0 <\/span>“You saved us!”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You’re welcome,” Gary replied.\u00a0 <\/span>“I hate to see any creature suffering.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m surprised there are so many of you in such a small section of water.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It’s not normally this crowded,” the fish confessed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We’re here for the playoffs.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Playoffs?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This isn’t generally known, dryside,” the fish said.\u00a0 <\/span>“But we of the wetside have a secret passion for baseball.\u00a0 <\/span>We play it all the time.\u00a0 <\/span>In fact we have twenty thousand leagues under the sea.\u00a0 <\/span>We gathered here for the Xanth championship series-and got caught by the drought.\u00a0 <\/span>We are extremely fortunate that you managed to abate it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes, now you can swim back to the sea,” Gary agreed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“By no means.\u00a0 <\/span>Now we can finish the series.\u00a0 <\/span>We’ve been tortured by our inability to complete it and determine the winning teams.\u00a0 <\/span>Ah, I think the moat is full enough now; it’s time for me to go o-fish-iate.\u00a0 <\/span>Thank you and good-bye.\u00a0 <\/span>I’ll send Naia.” The fish swam away.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary hardly had time to consider what to do next before another kind of fish swam up: a mermaid.\u00a0 <\/span>“Hi, winged monster.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m Naia Naiad, wearing my tail for this occasion.” She twisted, showing him a piece of tail.\u00a0 <\/span>“The big fish told me to guide you across the moat, so you can make your appointment with the Good Magician.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My appointment?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Everyone who gets past the challenges gets to see him.\u00a0 <\/span>Didn’t you know?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I didn’t get past them!” he protested.\u00a0 <\/span>She shrugged.\u00a0 <\/span>“You must have.\u00a0 <\/span>Well, come on, hero.” Bemused again, he stepped into the water, which was now almost to the top of the moat.\u00a0 <\/span>He sank to the bottom, being denser than any water.\u00a0 <\/span>It was cloudy, because of the stirring of the mud, but the naiad swam close enough so that he could keep her tail in sight.\u00a0 <\/span>In fact sometimes he saw more than her tail, as she looped around to check on him; but since he wasn’t human those parts didn’t much concern him.\u00a0 <\/span>It did occur to him, however, that such creatures must be very good at feeding their babies.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nNaia led him to the far bank.\u00a0 <\/span>He couldn’t bound very well underwater, but he made sufficient progress by slowly flapping his wings instead.\u00a0 <\/span>He climbed out, shook his body and wings dry, and turned back to thank her, but she was gone.\u00a0 <\/span>The surface of the moat was rippling as the storm eased; the fish were already into their playoffs.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe bounded to the inner side of the drawbridge, and to the castle gate.\u00a0 <\/span>It opened as he got there, admitting him.\u00a0 <\/span>A human young woman of about twenty stood there.\u00a0 <\/span>“Hello,” she said, looking past him.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Hello.\u00a0 <\/span>I am Gary Gargoyle.\u00a0 <\/span>I am not sure I-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, yes; we were expecting you.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m Wira, the Good Magician’s daughter-in-law.\u00a0 <\/span>Come in.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, I’m still a bit wet, as you can see, and-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I can’t see, but I know what gargoyles look like.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m sure a few drops of water won’t hurt.\u00a0 <\/span>Mother Gorgon wants to talk to you.” She set off down the inner hall.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe bounded cautiously after her.\u00a0 <\/span>His state of bemusement seemed to have become chronic.\u00a0 <\/span>“Who? Your mother?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My husband Hugo’s mother.\u00a0 <\/span>She’s very nice, but her gaze turns people to stone, or it did before she had Humfrey make her face invisible and replace it with an illusion of her face.\u00a0 <\/span>She says she has an affinity for stoned creatures, so she came here for this occasion.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe business about an invisible illusionary face was beyond him, so he fixed on something simple.\u00a0 <\/span>“I am a stone creature, yes.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThey came to a nice inner chamber with stone walls and stone furniture.\u00a0 <\/span>He felt quite comfortable.\u00a0 <\/span>Within it stood an older human woman.\u00a0 <\/span>“So nice to meet you, Gary Gargoyle,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>“I am the Gorgon.\u00a0 <\/span>We must talk.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“As you wish,” he agreed.\u00a0 <\/span>“But I’m not sure I should be here.\u00a0 <\/span>I didn’t-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You handled the challenges in your own compassionate fashion.\u00a0 <\/span>You are a good creature, worthy of the Good Magician’s Answer.\u00a0 <\/span>But are you aware that there is a payment in service required?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I learned that along the way,” he admitted ruefully.\u00a0 <\/span>“I think I don’t have the time.\u00a0 <\/span>You see, when it rains in Mundania, and the Swan Knee River starts flowing again, the dam will soon overflow, and I must be there to honor my geis.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘That is part of what I wanted to talk to you about.\u00a0 <\/span>A year will not do, for you; you have a responsibility elsewhere.\u00a0 <\/span>Instead, the Magician will settle for a single service of lesser duration, if that is satisfactory to you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary began to realize that his mission might be possible after all.\u00a0 <\/span>“If I can return in time, then it’s all right.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But it is an unusual service, and you may not wish to perform it,” she said.\u00a0 <\/span>“That’s why I had to talk to you first.\u00a0 <\/span>The Magician’s Answer is one thing, but the terms of the service are another.\u00a0 <\/span>If you are not willing to do it, your meeting with Humfrey is pointless.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m willing, so long as it is brief.\u00a0 <\/span>What is it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“To tutor a precocious human child.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I don’t know anything about humans, and less about their children,” he protested.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Precisely.\u00a0 <\/span>And this one is no ordinary child.\u00a0 <\/span>She will be extremely difficult to handle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I’m a winged monster! She’d think I was going to eat her! There must be a hundred better tutors for her.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Apparently there is only one who can do the job in the manner it needs to be done.\u00a0 <\/span>I confess that my husband’s dictations don’t always make sense to me at the time, but he is invariably correct.\u00a0 <\/span>We need you for this.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary struggled, but could not come up with a suitable argument against this.\u00a0 <\/span>His soft heart was betraying him again.\u00a0 <\/span>“If she really needs my help-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She really does.\u00a0 <\/span>But there is more.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere always did seem to be more.\u00a0 <\/span>“What more?” he asked warily.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You will have to be transformed to human form for the duration.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Human form!” he cried, appalled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I realize that this is a considerable sacrifice for you, but it will be temporary.\u00a0 <\/span>Magician Trent will transform you, and transform you back after the service is complete.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I suppose if it is temporary, I can stand it,” he agreed grudgingly.\u00a0 <\/span>But privately he was wondering whether he ever should have listened to D.\u00a0 <\/span>Mentia, who had gotten him into a crazy fix.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“There is more,” she said, with that tone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Are you trying to dissuade me from this?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No.\u00a0 <\/span>I very much hope you will accept it.\u00a0 <\/span>But fairness requires that you be warned.\u00a0 <\/span>In human form you will not be as competent as you are naturally, and your flesh will not be stone.\u00a0 <\/span>Your normal reflexes may lead you into mischief, such as assuming that thorns won’t hurt or that dragon bites won’t damage your flesh.\u00a0 <\/span>You will need Magician-caliber protection until you change back.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But if you have a Magician for this, why can’t he tutor the child?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not he.\u00a0 <\/span>She.\u00a0 <\/span>She absolutely refuses to baby-sit a child alone.\u00a0 <\/span>Perhaps she has reason; she is ninety-three years old.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But that’s doddering, for a human! Flesh ages so much more quickly than stone.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She will be youthened to an effective age of about twenty-three.\u00a0 <\/span>That’s prime, for a human female.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary shrugged.\u00a0 <\/span>“Then I don’t see the problem.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“There could be a personality conflict.\u00a0 <\/span>She is said to be not the easiest person to get along with.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary strained his stony memory for what it knew about human Sorceresses.\u00a0 <\/span>Only one bad name emerged.\u00a0 <\/span>“Just so long as it isn’t the Sorceress Iris.\u00a0 <\/span>She is said to be impossible for anybody but her family to stand for more than two moments.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe Gorgon merely looked at him.\u00a0 <\/span>Her illusion face looked soberingly real.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nOh, no!<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nAfter a time he bowed to the inevitable.\u00a0 <\/span>“Maybe if the service really is brief …”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It should be.\u00a0 <\/span>I repeat, my husband’s dictates can seem peculiar, but there’s always a rationale.\u00a0 <\/span>It is quite possible that you will be glad of this experience, once it is over.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I shall hang on to that hope,” he said ruefully.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Excellent.\u00a0 <\/span>Now it is time to see Humfrey.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I will take him there,” Wira said.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary had forgotten she was there.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe followed the young woman up endlessly winding stairways until they reached an obscure chamber buried deep within the castle.\u00a0 <\/span>A gnomish man sat at a desk, poring over a monstrous tome.\u00a0 <\/span>This was the Good Magician Humfrey; it could be no other.\u00a0 <\/span>He looked about a hundred years old.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Father Humfrey, here is Gary Gargoyle,” Wira said.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, let’s hear your Question,” the gnome grumped.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“How can I more readily purify the water?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Get a philter.” The face returned to the tome.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Now don’t try to argue with him.” Wira said urgently.\u00a0 <\/span>“That only makes him grumpier.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But I have no idea where-“<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ask Hiatus,” Humfrey said without looking up from the page.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Who is Interruption?” Gary asked as Wira guided him back down the tortuous stairway.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Hiatus.\u00a0 <\/span>He’s Lacuna’s twin brother.\u00a0 <\/span>He grows noses and things on surfaces.\u00a0 <\/span>He must know where the philter is.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But how can I find it, when I have to tutor this child?” he asked plaintively.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Take her with you!” the Good Magician’s annoyed voice floated after them.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I suppose I can do that,” Gary agreed.\u00a0 <\/span>“But this still seems perplexingly confused.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Things usually work out in the end,” Wira said reassuringly “Somehow.\u00a0 <\/span>Even if coincidence, chance, and common sense have to be inordinately strained.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary hoped that was the case.\u00a0 <\/span>Once more he wished that the demoness had left him alone.\u00a0 <\/span>His life had been simple; now it was unduly complicated.\u00a0 <\/span>But he also had to admit that it had been boring, and now it was interesting.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n3<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nIRIS<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary found himself outside the castle, with no idea where to go next.\u00a0 <\/span>In the confusion of the Good Magician’s grudging bits of Answer, Gary had forgotten to get lesser information he needed.\u00a0 <\/span>Such as how to find Magician Trent or the Sorceress Iris.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe gazed at the moat and the mixed terrain beyond.\u00a0 <\/span>Would he have to find his way out as deviously as he had found his way in? And then search for the people he needed? It was all so confused.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You look extremely perplexed,” someone said behind him.\u00a0 <\/span>“I love that in a creature.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary didn’t bother to look, because he recognized the voice.\u00a0 <\/span>“Shape up or ship out, Mentia,” he said gruffly.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nA small ragged brown cloud drifted into his field of vision.\u00a0 <\/span>“How did you know I was out of shape?” the demoness asked, disgruntled.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t care about your physical shape,” he said.\u00a0 <\/span>“I just mean that if you’re not here to help, I don’t want to bother with you.\u00a0 <\/span>I have enough problems already, thanks to your interference.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“My interference!” the cloud said, forming into a huge smoky exclamation point.\u00a0 <\/span>“Is this the thanks I get for trying to help you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“You want thanks? Here it is.\u00a0 <\/span>Thank you for not smoking in my presence.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe smoke solidified into the demoness’ supposedly natural human aspect.\u00a0 <\/span>“Are you really annoyed with me?” she asked, looking woebegone.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary knew it was an act, but fell for it anyway.\u00a0 <\/span>“I guess not.\u00a0 <\/span>I know you thought you were trying to help me.\u00a0 <\/span>But now I’m stuck not knowing where to go, and not only am I far from my river, I owe the Good Magician a Service.\u00a0 <\/span>I wish I’d never met you.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMentia sighed.\u00a0 <\/span>“I guess it was sort of crazy to think you’d be grateful.\u00a0 <\/span>But I’m a crazy creature.\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe I should help you some more.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“No!” he cried, alarmed.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not even if I showed you how to find Magician Trent?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Not even-” He paused.\u00a0 <\/span>“You’d do that?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“And the Sorceress Iris too,” she said sweetly.\u00a0 <\/span>“If that would make you feel good about me.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Why should you care how I feel about you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I shouldn’t.\u00a0 <\/span>But I’m a bit crazy, as you know.\u00a0 <\/span>I’m not a bad creature, and you’re an interesting one.\u00a0 <\/span>So maybe I’ll get you clear of your confusion.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary didn’t trust this, but seemed to have no viable alternative.\u00a0 <\/span>“Agreed, then.\u00a0 <\/span>Show me how to find Trent.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe paused to consider, her feet not quite touching the ground.\u00a0 <\/span>“The old folk are down in the Brain Coral’s Pool, waiting for you.\u00a0 <\/span>So we’ll have to go there.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“What kind of pool?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Oh, you don’t know about that? I thought you gargoyles knew all about water.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“We purify running water,” he said, slightly aggrieved.\u00a0 <\/span>“We ignore pools.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“This pool is not to be ignored.\u00a0 <\/span>The Brain Coral is a weird inanimate entity who likes to collect things, such as living creatures, which it keeps in suspended animation in its deep subterranean pool.\u00a0 <\/span>Once every decade or so it lets a creature out, if there’s really good reason, and that creature is exactly the same age as it was when it went in, even if it’s been there for several centuries.\u00a0 <\/span>Of course in the Time of No Magic, back in the year ten-forty-three, fifty-one years ago, everything got messed up and some captives escaped; it was decades before the Brain Coral completed its inventory and knew exactly who was gone.” Menda shrugged in sections, like a moving caterpillar, her head, shoulders, breasts, midsection, pelvis, thighs, legs, and feet taking their turns.\u00a0 <\/span>The effect would have been interesting, had Gary been a human male.\u00a0 <\/span>“By then it was a bit too late, of course.\u00a0 <\/span>But there’s still good stuff in those dark waters, and right now Magician Trent and Sorceress Iris are there.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“They are in the pool? In suspended animation?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Of course.\u00a0 <\/span>Do you think they want to wait in the regular realm, getting older every moment? Iris already has too much of a problem in that respect.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“She does? What’s wrong with getting older? Doesn’t everyone do it?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Every non-demon, I suppose.” This time Mentia’s right side shrugged in one direction, and her left side in the other direction.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary did find that interesting, especially when her eyes passed each other on the return trip, overshooting the mark.\u00a0 <\/span>“But Iris is ninety-three years old.\u00a0 <\/span>That’s ancient and doddering, for the average human being.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But Magician Trent must be old too, so they’re even.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Ninety-seven, technically.\u00a0 <\/span>But he was youthened to about twenty-five last year, and is now one handsome hunk of human.\u00a0 <\/span>Why should he mess with a woman of great-grandmotherly physical age?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That makes a difference?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘To a human, yes.\u00a0 <\/span>The man can be as old as he wants, but the woman has to be young, or she’s a waste.\u00a0 <\/span>That’s the way it is, with human folk.\u00a0 <\/span>So she’ll take a youth potion to knock about seventy years off her physical age;<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nthat’s her reward for helping you.\u00a0 <\/span>After that, who knows what she may be up to.\u00a0 <\/span>She’s a long-suppressed woman.” Mentia’s clothing turned transparent for an instant, showing a flash of her considerably curved outer contours.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary shook his head.\u00a0 <\/span>“You claim to be a little bit crazy, Mentia, but you don’t seem any worse than regular humans are.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThe demoness, caught by surprise by the compliment, flushed.\u00a0 <\/span>The contents of her head melted into red fluid and drained down the pipes of her neck, leaving a hollow translucent shell.\u00a0 <\/span>The fluid gurgled through her body, and pooled in her feet, which swelled voluminously.\u00a0 <\/span>Then, gradually, her head filled again, the fluid rising from the bottom to the top, until it was complete and she resumed normal activity.\u00a0 <\/span>“Thank you,” she said when her lips were full again.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nGary realized that for all Mentia’s disclaimers, she did care at least a little what other creatures thought of her.\u00a0 <\/span>That didn’t seem to be too much of a fault.\u00a0 <\/span>“How old are you, Mentia?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A hundred and ninety-three, but who’s counting? It doesn’t matter for demons.” She inhaled, and her bosom became magnificent and burst out of its halter.\u00a0 <\/span>Gary was no judge of such things, of course, but he suspected that a human man would find her attractive.\u00a0 <\/span>“Or one year, depending how you count it; I haven’t gone out on my own as Metria’s alter ego all that long.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat seemed like a fair dual answer.\u00a0 <\/span>“So this ninetythree-year-old ancient old woman, youthened to her twenties, is assigned to help me on my mission,” Gary said, somewhat dispiritedly.\u00a0 <\/span>“I suppose I had better get on with it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s what I was up to.\u00a0 <\/span>I can pop to the pool just like that, but you can’t.\u00a0 <\/span>You need a physical conveyance.\u00a0 <\/span>Can you sing?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nThat must be her craziness showing again.\u00a0 <\/span>“No.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n‘Too bad.\u00a0 <\/span>We could have had you ride a diggle.\u00a0 <\/span>They carry folk through rock for a song.” She pondered, her body fuzzing out as she lost focus.\u00a0 <\/span>“Maybe a figgle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“A what?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“That’s another subspecies of vole.\u00a0 <\/span>All it wants is a fig.\u00a0 <\/span>So you don’t give a fig.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nMore craziness! “You don’t give it what it wants?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes.\u00a0 <\/span>Because when it gets its fig, it eats it and goes home to snooze.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So why not promise it a fig after it has helped you?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“It doesn’t work that way.\u00a0 <\/span>Piggies don’t plan for the future.\u00a0 <\/span>They want to know now.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“But you can’t give it the fig now.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nShe smiled.\u00a0 <\/span>“You are catching on, stoneface.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“So we can’t use a figgle.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Yes we can.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\nHe knew she was teasing him, but he was stuck for it, so he asked the obvious question: “How?”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“By telling it what we aren’t giving it.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“I don’t understand.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n“Well, you’re only a stone animal.\u00a0 <\/span>Now I’ll summon a figgle for us to ride.”<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n\u00a0<\/span>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Read the full book by downloading it below.<\/p>\n

DOWNLOAD EPUB<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Book Preview \u00a0 Geis of the Gargoyle Book 18 in the Xanth Series Piers Anthony \u00a0 1 \u00a0 GARY GAR \u00a0 The demoness formed into smoke, and then into an insidiously lovely (if you like that type) humanstyle woman.\u00a0 Her face was unutterably fair, her hair flowed like honey, her bosom was so full and … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":394,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[21],"class_list":["post-395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-piers-anthony"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=395"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/epub-book.com\/download\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}